Faulty has faulty boobs?

Faulty says: tt, ur boobs, does part of ur nipples like sink in coz mine looks weird

Tipsy Tart says: um no Faulty, mines puffy

Faulty says: hmmmmmmmmm ok another faulty thing to add to me, I now got a faulty boob lol

Jaggi says: Faulty! Shame K won’t even be able to get a good trade in on you!

Faulty says: bwahahhahaha

Jaggi says: gees I think I put my contacts in the wrong eyes I better go swop them

Vlam says: hahaha

Kama Sutra says: haha

The 3 Mamma’s at L’s concert

Kama Sutra says: tt how did L’s concert go

BETTY BOOB says: how was L's concert??

Tipsy Tart says: u want to hear a funny story, re: last night
Fuck my family is so funny. ok so we get a letter from School saying we must bring our own picnic basket, drinks and camping chairs, I sms my family and tell them bring ur own chairs and picnic baskets etc.

BETTY BOOB says: oh god I see where this is going -is this now your mom and her sisters?

Tipsy Tart says: YES! they brought with picnic BASKETS, a camping table, and a blanket, their chairs

BETTY BOOB says: what about booze?

Tipsy Tart says: of course there was alcohol (with glasses)

BETTY BOOB says: OMG I knew it!

Tipsy Tart says: Ok but there was lots of other ppl with their booze, the school letter said to bring your own booze lol. Aunty K even brought an ashtray to smoke (I don’t even think you are allowed to smoke? lol) so they bring with Crayfish, biltong, pies, chicken, dip and chips etc (well our family is famous for snack time, its always very impressive set up lol)

BETTY BOOB says: fuck well at least they are organised ha ha ha ha oh my hat I would have laughed so much

Tipsy Tart says: so L comes out and of course super shy, all 3 big mammas stand up and start clapping, waving and hollering at him, it was so cute and he just waved back shyly
and my one aunty (bless her sole) shouts out - 'he waves like the queen
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCk

BETTY BOOB says: I like them already (rofl) they were the entertainment for the evening ha ha
I’m having such a lag now; I’m having a visual of the spot they set up with their table etc (rofl)

Tipsy Tart says: the men (as usual) went to stand in a corner away from them lol

Kama Sutra says: did you take photo’s

Tipsy Tart says: No, my aunty did, it was very nice; he wore a white shirt with a dassie (black)
and he danced to waltzing matilda lol but he was so shy he stuck his tongue out at the side the entire time

VLAM says: lol cute man

Jaggi says: Awww cute man tt!!!

Kama Sutra says: would love to see the pics

Tipsy Tart says: I mean the concert was only like 45min long and my mother was like 'is that it?'
L was very shy shame, he kept doing this weird thing with his tongue, he kept darting it out at the side of his mouth

BETTY BOOB says: ag shame man

Tipsy Tart says: I think he gets that from his dad, coz I LOVE attention, so ja that was the concert
L is NOTHING like me, so introverted like his father, he only has my attitude

Faulty has faulty legs?

Faulty says: I looked like a girl today, a serious one

BETTY BOOB says: oh jeez what did you wear?

Faulty says: a shirt and tight pants

Tipsy Tart says: she showed some leg

BETTY BOOB says: how do you know?

Tipsy Tart says: I saw

BETTY BOOB says: where is my pic

Faulty says: I sent her an mms of my funny legs, she says they not funny but I disagree with her

BETTY BOOB says: why didn't I get one

Tipsy Tart says: they aren’t funny

Faulty says: I will send u one

BETTY BOOB says: ok I just dropped a serious stinker dear lord, I should lock my door

Tipsy Tart says: u get the mms, where ur fone

BETTY BOOB says: no not yet, next to me

Faulty says: any how girls are in the bath let me go bath them and take them out then try finding something for dinner for them

BETTY BOOB says: ok babe

Boss lady says: enjoy Faulty

BETTY BOOB says: I got the pic

Tipsy Tart says: do her legs look funny to u

Boss lady says: no she has skinny legs

BETTY BOOB says: yes they look funny

Tipsy Tart says: bwah typical u

BETTY BOOB says: they very skinny, my legs aren't that skinny

Boss lady says: her legs are way skinnier than mine

Tipsy Tart says: I THINK HER LEGS ARE SKINNIER THAN MINE

BETTY BOOB says: ok I’m saying bye so long, have a fab weekend girls!

What size are your feet?

Boss lady says: Betty Boob what size does N wear now

BETTY BOOB says: he is on a 6 going to a 7

Boss lady says: oh ok so my child isn’t completely a giant

Tipsy Tart says: ppl pls I bought L 5 pairs of shoes for his bday and guess what by the time its winter again it'll be too small, he probably won’t even end up wearing them

BETTY BOOB says: what size is she?

Boss lady says: 5

BETTY BOOB says: that's quite big for a girl her age though hey? Do you have big feet? My niece who is 5 wears a size 6 shoe

Tipsy Tart says: big ppl size 6?

BETTY BOOB says: no man baby size 6, my sister is only a size 3 adult shoe lol

Boss lady says: I wear a 5

BETTY BOOB says: ok so you don't have monster feet

Faulty says: I’m a size 3-sometimes a size 4, just woke up

BETTY BOOB says: I’m also a 5

BETTY BOOB says: C is like a 9

Tipsy Tart says: P is a 9 but is convinced he is an 8

Boss lady says: no idea what r wears

BETTY BOOB says: I can't stand it when people buy slops a size too small and their feet hang off the back lol

Tipsy Tart says: Betty Boob that’s what P does

BETTY BOOB says: EEUW TT I can't handle that,C doesn't buy shoes without me giving the nod

Tipsy Tart says: does anybody care what size L wears or is this ageism

BETTY BOOB says: is there such a word? L is probably a size 9

Tipsy Tart says: I made it up and he is a 9

BETTY BOOB says: I can't get N foot into a size 9 gumboot - that's how fat they are

Tipsy Tart says: I bought all his new shoes size 10 but they too big but I’m worried about his toes

I think he is going to have gravel grippers

Boss lady says: whahahahah

Tipsy Tart says: B u are skinny I bet u have gravel grippers

Boss lady says: I have hangmen toes

Tipsy Tart says: the boere call it gravel grippers, for running, ah the hang mans toe

Faulty says: I got fat short toes

Tipsy Tart says: your hangman toe could’ve saved ur life in the 1600's

Boss lady says: I make perfect prints on the sand

Faulty says: are we talking bout toes?

Tart says: yes Faulty

Follow-up – This is what happens AFTER drunken sex :) 10 October 2009

BETTY BOOB : I still don't have AF :^) my tummy and boobs sore though

Tipsy Tart : oooooooooooooooooooh

Vlam : don’t tell Faulty

Tipsy Tart : u are pregnant, imagine u are WTF

Ditsy : hahahaha Betty Boob

BETTY BOOB : I’m going to go buy a stick

Ditsy : how late are u

BETTY BOOB : what day is it today?

Tipsy Tart : OMG are u? OMG wait I need to book a flight I have to be there

BETTY BOOB : my last period started on 2 September

Tipsy Tart : u are WAY overdue then

BETTY BOOB : so I’m not sure where I am lol, god I’ll die - C will be happy |-(

Tipsy Tart : OMG this is awesome, but u beta still come December
oooh I hope u have a girl

BETTY BOOB :of course I’m coming in December pfft

Ditsy : it’s WAY over 35 day’s babe

BETTY BOOB : oh is it? what day is it today?

Tipsy Tart : yes duh it’s over the 35 days cycle by a week
8th,the 2nd was 30 day cycle mark so u overdue :)

BETTY BOOB : ok well I’ll go by a stick this afternoon if no AF, I’m going to go (smoking) and think happy thoughts

Tipsy Tart : bwah 'yes we are REASONABELY safe' what does that mean lol

BETTY BOOB : if I’m pregnant, C is going for a snip. him and his fucking sperm ai

Vlam : lol

Tipsy Tart : ditto I have to agree though P needs a snip too................oh thank GOD u will be fat when I see u

Ditsy : and I can be the thin one for a change what u girls think?

Tipsy Tart : I think I will make u fat without u knowing it I know u cant resist chocolate :)

Ditsy : bitch u! was telling r u look real sexy pregnant
oh Betty Boob - u should SEE the size of her boobs!

BETTY BOOB : ai man

Tipsy Tart : what Betty Boob are u depressed coz u pregnant

Jaggi : Betty Boob (rofl) pmsl! Go pee on a stick and make Faulty happy! I will just do it by myself next year!

Ditsy : I got to go BETTY BOOB let me know about that stick!

Faulty : ooohh POAS? stick

BETTY BOOB : I’m going to go buy one later this afternoon if still no AF

Faulty : are u going to POAS, are u really going to make my day

BETTY BOOB : yes I am

Faulty : only this afternoon---- you don’t know me well-- I can’t wait that long

BETTY BOOB : ja but I can't go out now, my boss not here yet so I got to wait

Faulty : what his number let me phone him and crap on him for being late

LATER.......

Jaggi : Gees 3 of my friends are preggies...and they are all a week apart!

Tipsy Tart : did Betty Boob do her POAs yet?

Jaggi : I think she is too scared (chuckle)

Tipsy Tart : me 2

BETTY BOOB : I haven't bought one yet

Jaggi : ]:)don’t let us put Faulty on you

Faulty : I see still no stick ai ai ai I want ur bosses number

BETTY BOOB : I’ll go out a bit later man

Faulty : its ridiculous that he so late its awful business ethic, does he not know that it is very important to me that u go buy a stick

BETTY BOOB : I’ll go just now, promise

Faulty : my jeans won’t close even if I lay on the bed and try close them

BETTY BOOB : well you ARE pregnant

Faulty : that is true hey

BETTY BOOB : does Pick n Pay sell sticks? I’m not lus to go to a shopping centre to find a clicks
ok I’ll go look there just now when I go get lunch

Faulty : I want the pic mms'ed to me hey pos or neg I going to invert it

Jaggi : oh the tension is killing me!! (rofl)

BETTY BOOB : guys don't even joke lol

Faulty : its killing me too I can’t believe I haven’t had a nervous breakdown yet

BETTY BOOB : I don't know how I’ll feel you making me stress man

Faulty : u will feel like me- still trying to get used to the idea

Jaggi : well once you know...you just deal with it...

BETTY BOOB : well my one boob is still sore, but no AF symptoms i.e. sore tummy

Faulty : but at least u not alone there are PLENTY chicks out there that are preg

Jaggi : lol is anyone ever READY?

Faulty : it’s going to look like me cause I smsed u and told u to put ur legs in the air

DENIAL..........

BETTY BOOB : realistically speaking, it's not really possible though. unless I ovulated when we were in JHB lol, which would have been like 2 weeks later than what it should have been
oh god then I have to quit (smoking)

EVEN LATER.........

Faulty : any testing done yet

BOOB : just got back! got my stick, it's the maybe baby one
what do I do? or must I now read the instruction?

Faulty : piss on it -I’m visioning two lines

BETTY BOOB : it's NEGATIVE (rofl)

Faulty : nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it’s wrong

BETTY BOOB : only one stripe I’ll take a pic with my camera quick

Faulty : noooooooooo this is very wrong seriously it’s a false negative

BETTY BOOB : OMF there is a VERY faint second line

Faulty : are u serious send a pic through

BETTY BOOB : I’m shaking

Faulty : I knew u were pregnant go get some folic acid

BETTY BOOB : please tell me I’m imagining it, sending pic....... can you see it????

Faulty : (dance)YES u going to be a mommy again

BETTY BOOB : are you serious? do you see it?

Faulty : loud and clear

BETTY BOOB : I’m going to go have my last smoke

Faulty : u will be ok its going to be a girl

Vlam : I SEE A LINE.... phone C

BETTY BOOB : OMG I just looked at it again and it's still there :O and I burnt my lip with my smoke coz I’m shaking

Vlam : you better go for bloods

BETTY BOOB : well if I am, then I can only be like 2 weeks lol maybe 3 pushing it
WHERE IS TIPSY TART -YOU BITCHES JINXED ME
Faulty it's your fault you made me buy a test ;(

Faulty : u the one who listened and put ur legs in the air

BETTY BOOB : YOH I don't know if I should laugh or cry,i must go for bloods tomorrow maybe it's not even really positive

Vlam : nah my dear I saw that line immediately....

Jaggi : (party) OMF!!!! It’s definitely positive!!!!!

Vlam : thank fuck j is a sports model u chicks are contagious

Faulty : right next is JAGGI

Jaggi : no fucking way people!!! leave me out of it

Tipsy Tart : OMF I see a line-Faulty do that negative thingy to the pic

Jaggi : there is definitely a line hey tt!

Vlam : lol we all see the line tt

Tipsy Tart : OMG I’m shocked

Vlam : tt I’m sitting here in total disbelieve

BETTY BOOB : don't laugh I want to cry man lol

Tipsy Tart : WTF - what u expect if u have 'sort of' safe sex dude 3 of us pregnant
Betty Boob I am happy that u are going to be fat, but it ends there

Vlam : When you going to phone C? give him the stick and tell him look what u did

BETTY BOOB : no I can't, he'll come here and then my whole office will know
last time I threw the stick at him. wonder how I’ll do it this time round, where is Ditsy? she is going to DIE

Tipsy Tart : I’m going to sms her

Jaggi : she is going to say I TOLD YOU SO!!!!

BETTY BOOB : I have period pains again, I’m not going to get happy until I’m definitely pregnant

Tipsy Tart : its not period pains :) its stretching pains REMEMBER that what u told me BOOOOHAAAAAA -Why are we all pregnant at the same time its weird
it :*

Tipsy Tart : Betty Boob what time u going for bloods, I’m not in tomorrow

BETTY BOOB : oh I don't know, later in the day. I’ll sms you and don't laugh regardless of result lol

Tipsy Tart : I must laugh coz u was happy for my downfall boohaaaaaaaaaa
oooh I hope ur child is a gemini like me

BETTY BOOB : oh dear no...........

Xxx THE END xxX

Shagging - this is how it began

28 September 2009

Tipsy Tart : oh i wanted to tell u ppl im horny like 24/7 I need help

Jaggi : :D(clap) you go girl!

BETTY BOOB : so then shag

Ditsy : oooooo tt count urself luck babe

Jaggi : at least you cant get preggies so GO FOR IT

Tipsy Tart : I shagged P twice yesterday i think he will stay downstairs for a long time tonight
I smsd P 'im starving' shouldve mentioned: for food, now myabe he wotn come home :^)

BETTY BOOB : we had great drunken sex i was so tired yesterday

Tipsy Tart : oh well done

Jaggi : those are the best

BETTY BOOB : i'm still tired, actually

Tipsy Tart : are u pregnant

BETTY BOOB : nope,my boobs are sore though, but i think that's from all the dancing, coz i wasn't wearing a bra

Vet Koek

TIPSY TART: i have ONE question
BETTY BOOB: yes
TIPSY TART: and its what u ppl class as inappropriate
BETTY BOOB: ok lol
BETTY BOOB: something to do with your COOK
BETTY BOOB: lol
TIPSY TART: does your vagina get bigger coz i swear its like 4 times bigger
BETTY BOOB: (rofl)
TIPSY TART: bwah yes Betty Boob lol
BETTY BOOB: bwahahaha i knew it lol
Faulty: pmsl
BETTY BOOB: well it does "swell" up a bit mos, coz of all the extra blood flow
TIPSY TART: and the foxie bonnet part has a fat roll
BETTY BOOB: bwahahaahahaha
TIPSY TART: oh ok makes sense
BETTY BOOB: bt shoo, i don't recall mine getting fat early in pregnancy, just at the end it was swollen
Faulty: omg u ppl are really strange
TIPSY TART: no its HUGE
Faulty: tt mine is fat
BETTY BOOB: mmmmmmmm
TIPSY TART: yes like fat and bigger
Faulty: no stress, its just cause its not the first kid
BETTY BOOB: so jy het nou a VET KOEK pmsl
Faulty: pmsl
TIPSY TART: now i wonder, ppl that give normal birth - what do their cooks look like fuckit
Betty Boob: TT did your boobs go big with your first pregnancy?
TIPSY TART: um yes Betty Boob
TIPSY TART: u saw that one pic on FB
Faulty: so tt weigh ur boobs tonight k
BETTY BOOB: like a huge bladdy fat vrot guava
TIPSY TART: i squeezed the one and see through stuff came out hahaha
TIPSY TART: i can do magic with my boobs
BETTY BOOB: wahahahaha
TIPSY TART: water bottles

TIPSY TART: dont u ever squeeze ur boobs?
Betty Boob: NO
TIPSY TART: wahahaha why not
BETTY BOOB: well, why would i want to?
makes no sense lol