Thursday, December 3, 2009
Faulty has faulty boobs?
Tipsy Tart says: um no Faulty, mines puffy
Faulty says: hmmmmmmmmm ok another faulty thing to add to me, I now got a faulty boob lol
Jaggi says: Faulty! Shame K won’t even be able to get a good trade in on you!
Faulty says: bwahahhahaha
Jaggi says: gees I think I put my contacts in the wrong eyes I better go swop them
Vlam says: hahaha
Kama Sutra says: haha
The 3 Mamma’s at L’s concert
BETTY BOOB says: how was L's concert??
Tipsy Tart says: u want to hear a funny story, re: last night
Fuck my family is so funny. ok so we get a letter from School saying we must bring our own picnic basket, drinks and camping chairs, I sms my family and tell them bring ur own chairs and picnic baskets etc.
BETTY BOOB says: oh god I see where this is going -is this now your mom and her sisters?
Tipsy Tart says: YES! they brought with picnic BASKETS, a camping table, and a blanket, their chairs
BETTY BOOB says: what about booze?
Tipsy Tart says: of course there was alcohol (with glasses)
BETTY BOOB says: OMG I knew it!
Tipsy Tart says: Ok but there was lots of other ppl with their booze, the school letter said to bring your own booze lol. Aunty K even brought an ashtray to smoke (I don’t even think you are allowed to smoke? lol) so they bring with Crayfish, biltong, pies, chicken, dip and chips etc (well our family is famous for snack time, its always very impressive set up lol)
BETTY BOOB says: fuck well at least they are organised ha ha ha ha oh my hat I would have laughed so much
Tipsy Tart says: so L comes out and of course super shy, all 3 big mammas stand up and start clapping, waving and hollering at him, it was so cute and he just waved back shyly
and my one aunty (bless her sole) shouts out - 'he waves like the queen
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCk
BETTY BOOB says: I like them already (rofl) they were the entertainment for the evening ha ha
I’m having such a lag now; I’m having a visual of the spot they set up with their table etc (rofl)
Tipsy Tart says: the men (as usual) went to stand in a corner away from them lol
Kama Sutra says: did you take photo’s
Tipsy Tart says: No, my aunty did, it was very nice; he wore a white shirt with a dassie (black)
and he danced to waltzing matilda lol but he was so shy he stuck his tongue out at the side the entire time
VLAM says: lol cute man
Jaggi says: Awww cute man tt!!!
Kama Sutra says: would love to see the pics
Tipsy Tart says: I mean the concert was only like 45min long and my mother was like 'is that it?'
L was very shy shame, he kept doing this weird thing with his tongue, he kept darting it out at the side of his mouth
BETTY BOOB says: ag shame man
Tipsy Tart says: I think he gets that from his dad, coz I LOVE attention, so ja that was the concert
L is NOTHING like me, so introverted like his father, he only has my attitude
Faulty has faulty legs?
BETTY BOOB says: oh jeez what did you wear?
Faulty says: a shirt and tight pants
Tipsy Tart says: she showed some leg
BETTY BOOB says: how do you know?
Tipsy Tart says: I saw
BETTY BOOB says: where is my pic
Faulty says: I sent her an mms of my funny legs, she says they not funny but I disagree with her
BETTY BOOB says: why didn't I get one
Tipsy Tart says: they aren’t funny
Faulty says: I will send u one
BETTY BOOB says: ok I just dropped a serious stinker dear lord, I should lock my door
Tipsy Tart says: u get the mms, where ur fone
BETTY BOOB says: no not yet, next to me
Faulty says: any how girls are in the bath let me go bath them and take them out then try finding something for dinner for them
BETTY BOOB says: ok babe
Boss lady says: enjoy Faulty
BETTY BOOB says: I got the pic
Tipsy Tart says: do her legs look funny to u
Boss lady says: no she has skinny legs
BETTY BOOB says: yes they look funny
Tipsy Tart says: bwah typical u
BETTY BOOB says: they very skinny, my legs aren't that skinny
Boss lady says: her legs are way skinnier than mine
Tipsy Tart says: I THINK HER LEGS ARE SKINNIER THAN MINE
BETTY BOOB says: ok I’m saying bye so long, have a fab weekend girls!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
What size are your feet?
BETTY BOOB says: he is on a 6 going to a 7
Boss lady says: oh ok so my child isn’t completely a giant
Tipsy Tart says: ppl pls I bought L 5 pairs of shoes for his bday and guess what by the time its winter again it'll be too small, he probably won’t even end up wearing them
BETTY BOOB says: what size is she?
Boss lady says: 5
BETTY BOOB says: that's quite big for a girl her age though hey? Do you have big feet? My niece who is 5 wears a size 6 shoe
Tipsy Tart says: big ppl size 6?
BETTY BOOB says: no man baby size 6, my sister is only a size 3 adult shoe lol
Boss lady says: I wear a 5
BETTY BOOB says: ok so you don't have monster feet
Faulty says: I’m a size 3-sometimes a size 4, just woke up
BETTY BOOB says: I’m also a 5
BETTY BOOB says: C is like a 9
Tipsy Tart says: P is a 9 but is convinced he is an 8
Boss lady says: no idea what r wears
BETTY BOOB says: I can't stand it when people buy slops a size too small and their feet hang off the back lol
Tipsy Tart says: Betty Boob that’s what P does
BETTY BOOB says: EEUW TT I can't handle that,C doesn't buy shoes without me giving the nod
Tipsy Tart says: does anybody care what size L wears or is this ageism
BETTY BOOB says: is there such a word? L is probably a size 9
Tipsy Tart says: I made it up and he is a 9
BETTY BOOB says: I can't get N foot into a size 9 gumboot - that's how fat they are
Tipsy Tart says: I bought all his new shoes size 10 but they too big but I’m worried about his toes
I think he is going to have gravel grippers
Boss lady says: whahahahah
Tipsy Tart says: B u are skinny I bet u have gravel grippers
Boss lady says: I have hangmen toes
Tipsy Tart says: the boere call it gravel grippers, for running, ah the hang mans toe
Faulty says: I got fat short toes
Tipsy Tart says: your hangman toe could’ve saved ur life in the 1600's
Boss lady says: I make perfect prints on the sand
Faulty says: are we talking bout toes?
Tart says: yes Faulty
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Follow-up – This is what happens AFTER drunken sex :) 10 October 2009
Tipsy Tart : oooooooooooooooooooh
Vlam : don’t tell Faulty
Tipsy Tart : u are pregnant, imagine u are WTF
Ditsy : hahahaha Betty Boob
BETTY BOOB : I’m going to go buy a stick
Ditsy : how late are u
BETTY BOOB : what day is it today?
Tipsy Tart : OMG are u? OMG wait I need to book a flight I have to be there
BETTY BOOB : my last period started on 2 September
Tipsy Tart : u are WAY overdue then
BETTY BOOB : so I’m not sure where I am lol, god I’ll die - C will be happy |-(
Tipsy Tart : OMG this is awesome, but u beta still come December
oooh I hope u have a girl
BETTY BOOB :of course I’m coming in December pfft
Ditsy : it’s WAY over 35 day’s babe
BETTY BOOB : oh is it? what day is it today?
Tipsy Tart : yes duh it’s over the 35 days cycle by a week
8th,the 2nd was 30 day cycle mark so u overdue :)
BETTY BOOB : ok well I’ll go by a stick this afternoon if no AF, I’m going to go (smoking) and think happy thoughts
Tipsy Tart : bwah 'yes we are REASONABELY safe' what does that mean lol
BETTY BOOB : if I’m pregnant, C is going for a snip. him and his fucking sperm ai
Vlam : lol
Tipsy Tart : ditto I have to agree though P needs a snip too................oh thank GOD u will be fat when I see u
Ditsy : and I can be the thin one for a change what u girls think?
Tipsy Tart : I think I will make u fat without u knowing it I know u cant resist chocolate :)
Ditsy : bitch u! was telling r u look real sexy pregnant
oh Betty Boob - u should SEE the size of her boobs!
BETTY BOOB : ai man
Tipsy Tart : what Betty Boob are u depressed coz u pregnant
Jaggi : Betty Boob (rofl) pmsl! Go pee on a stick and make Faulty happy! I will just do it by myself next year!
Ditsy : I got to go BETTY BOOB let me know about that stick!
Faulty : ooohh POAS? stick
BETTY BOOB : I’m going to go buy one later this afternoon if still no AF
Faulty : are u going to POAS, are u really going to make my day
BETTY BOOB : yes I am
Faulty : only this afternoon---- you don’t know me well-- I can’t wait that long
BETTY BOOB : ja but I can't go out now, my boss not here yet so I got to wait
Faulty : what his number let me phone him and crap on him for being late
LATER.......
Jaggi : Gees 3 of my friends are preggies...and they are all a week apart!
Tipsy Tart : did Betty Boob do her POAs yet?
Jaggi : I think she is too scared (chuckle)
Tipsy Tart : me 2
BETTY BOOB : I haven't bought one yet
Jaggi : ]:)don’t let us put Faulty on you
Faulty : I see still no stick ai ai ai I want ur bosses number
BETTY BOOB : I’ll go out a bit later man
Faulty : its ridiculous that he so late its awful business ethic, does he not know that it is very important to me that u go buy a stick
BETTY BOOB : I’ll go just now, promise
Faulty : my jeans won’t close even if I lay on the bed and try close them
BETTY BOOB : well you ARE pregnant
Faulty : that is true hey
BETTY BOOB : does Pick n Pay sell sticks? I’m not lus to go to a shopping centre to find a clicks
ok I’ll go look there just now when I go get lunch
Faulty : I want the pic mms'ed to me hey pos or neg I going to invert it
Jaggi : oh the tension is killing me!! (rofl)
BETTY BOOB : guys don't even joke lol
Faulty : its killing me too I can’t believe I haven’t had a nervous breakdown yet
BETTY BOOB : I don't know how I’ll feel you making me stress man
Faulty : u will feel like me- still trying to get used to the idea
Jaggi : well once you know...you just deal with it...
BETTY BOOB : well my one boob is still sore, but no AF symptoms i.e. sore tummy
Faulty : but at least u not alone there are PLENTY chicks out there that are preg
Jaggi : lol is anyone ever READY?
Faulty : it’s going to look like me cause I smsed u and told u to put ur legs in the air
DENIAL..........
BETTY BOOB : realistically speaking, it's not really possible though. unless I ovulated when we were in JHB lol, which would have been like 2 weeks later than what it should have been
oh god then I have to quit (smoking)
EVEN LATER.........
Faulty : any testing done yet
BOOB : just got back! got my stick, it's the maybe baby one
what do I do? or must I now read the instruction?
Faulty : piss on it -I’m visioning two lines
BETTY BOOB : it's NEGATIVE (rofl)
Faulty : nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it’s wrong
BETTY BOOB : only one stripe I’ll take a pic with my camera quick
Faulty : noooooooooo this is very wrong seriously it’s a false negative
BETTY BOOB : OMF there is a VERY faint second line
Faulty : are u serious send a pic through
BETTY BOOB : I’m shaking
Faulty : I knew u were pregnant go get some folic acid
BETTY BOOB : please tell me I’m imagining it, sending pic....... can you see it????
Faulty : (dance)YES u going to be a mommy again
BETTY BOOB : are you serious? do you see it?
Faulty : loud and clear
BETTY BOOB : I’m going to go have my last smoke
Faulty : u will be ok its going to be a girl
Vlam : I SEE A LINE.... phone C
BETTY BOOB : OMG I just looked at it again and it's still there :O and I burnt my lip with my smoke coz I’m shaking
Vlam : you better go for bloods
BETTY BOOB : well if I am, then I can only be like 2 weeks lol maybe 3 pushing it
WHERE IS TIPSY TART -YOU BITCHES JINXED ME
Faulty it's your fault you made me buy a test ;(
Faulty : u the one who listened and put ur legs in the air
BETTY BOOB : YOH I don't know if I should laugh or cry,i must go for bloods tomorrow maybe it's not even really positive
Vlam : nah my dear I saw that line immediately....
Jaggi : (party) OMF!!!! It’s definitely positive!!!!!
Vlam : thank fuck j is a sports model u chicks are contagious
Faulty : right next is JAGGI
Jaggi : no fucking way people!!! leave me out of it
Tipsy Tart : OMF I see a line-Faulty do that negative thingy to the pic
Jaggi : there is definitely a line hey tt!
Vlam : lol we all see the line tt
Tipsy Tart : OMG I’m shocked
Vlam : tt I’m sitting here in total disbelieve
BETTY BOOB : don't laugh I want to cry man lol
Tipsy Tart : WTF - what u expect if u have 'sort of' safe sex dude 3 of us pregnant
Betty Boob I am happy that u are going to be fat, but it ends there
Vlam : When you going to phone C? give him the stick and tell him look what u did
BETTY BOOB : no I can't, he'll come here and then my whole office will know
last time I threw the stick at him. wonder how I’ll do it this time round, where is Ditsy? she is going to DIE
Tipsy Tart : I’m going to sms her
Jaggi : she is going to say I TOLD YOU SO!!!!
BETTY BOOB : I have period pains again, I’m not going to get happy until I’m definitely pregnant
Tipsy Tart : its not period pains :) its stretching pains REMEMBER that what u told me BOOOOHAAAAAA -Why are we all pregnant at the same time its weird
it :*
Tipsy Tart : Betty Boob what time u going for bloods, I’m not in tomorrow
BETTY BOOB : oh I don't know, later in the day. I’ll sms you and don't laugh regardless of result lol
Tipsy Tart : I must laugh coz u was happy for my downfall boohaaaaaaaaaa
oooh I hope ur child is a gemini like me
BETTY BOOB : oh dear no...........
Xxx THE END xxX
Shagging - this is how it began
Tipsy Tart : oh i wanted to tell u ppl im horny like 24/7 I need help
Jaggi : :D(clap) you go girl!
BETTY BOOB : so then shag
Ditsy : oooooo tt count urself luck babe
Jaggi : at least you cant get preggies so GO FOR IT
Tipsy Tart : I shagged P twice yesterday i think he will stay downstairs for a long time tonight
I smsd P 'im starving' shouldve mentioned: for food, now myabe he wotn come home :^)
BETTY BOOB : we had great drunken sex i was so tired yesterday
Tipsy Tart : oh well done
Jaggi : those are the best
BETTY BOOB : i'm still tired, actually
Tipsy Tart : are u pregnant
BETTY BOOB : nope,my boobs are sore though, but i think that's from all the dancing, coz i wasn't wearing a bra
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Vet Koek
TIPSY TART: i have ONE question
BETTY BOOB: yes
TIPSY TART: and its what u ppl class as inappropriate
BETTY BOOB: ok lol
BETTY BOOB: something to do with your COOK
BETTY BOOB: lol
TIPSY TART: does your vagina get bigger coz i swear its like 4 times bigger
BETTY BOOB: (rofl)
TIPSY TART: bwah yes Betty Boob lol
BETTY BOOB: bwahahaha i knew it lol
Faulty: pmsl
BETTY BOOB: well it does "swell" up a bit mos, coz of all the extra blood flow
TIPSY TART: and the foxie bonnet part has a fat roll
BETTY BOOB: bwahahaahahaha
TIPSY TART: oh ok makes sense
BETTY BOOB: bt shoo, i don't recall mine getting fat early in pregnancy, just at the end it was swollen
Faulty: omg u ppl are really strange
TIPSY TART: no its HUGE
Faulty: tt mine is fat
BETTY BOOB: mmmmmmmm
TIPSY TART: yes like fat and bigger
Faulty: no stress, its just cause its not the first kid
BETTY BOOB: so jy het nou a VET KOEK pmsl
Faulty: pmsl
TIPSY TART: now i wonder, ppl that give normal birth - what do their cooks look like fuckit
Betty Boob: TT did your boobs go big with your first pregnancy?
TIPSY TART: um yes Betty Boob
TIPSY TART: u saw that one pic on FB
Faulty: so tt weigh ur boobs tonight k
BETTY BOOB: like a huge bladdy fat vrot guava
TIPSY TART: i squeezed the one and see through stuff came out hahaha
TIPSY TART: i can do magic with my boobs
BETTY BOOB: wahahahaha
TIPSY TART: water bottles
TIPSY TART: dont u ever squeeze ur boobs?
Betty Boob: NO
TIPSY TART: wahahaha why not
BETTY BOOB: well, why would i want to?
makes no sense lol
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
What kind of NUT will you be?
Pregancy symptoms lesson 1 -farting
Faulty says: i need food im hungry tt u picked up weight yet my tummy is wobbly
Tipsy Tart says: YES,but its all the gas,my stomache is swolen i have ALOT of gas
Faulty says: bet u farting alot
Tipsy Tart says: and i have those luv handles again i farted DH warm in bed last nite lol he was cross
Faulty says: i feel like my tummy is hanging over my jeans, DH jumps up in fright every time i fart
The mafia and other drunken escapades
Tart says: no pls do tell
BETTY BOOB says: we were partying with the guys from parlotones at that skanky jol in knysna. so they have these ottoman things in their private bar upstairs. well i fell over ones of those, and spilt my RUM and coke (why the fuck i was drinking that is a mystery) all over DH and Khan (the lead singer) and then they had to help me up coz i was laughing so much i was so embarrassed the next day OMG
Tipsy Tart says: OMG hahaha
Faulty says: pmsl
Tipsy Tart says: I couldnt stop laughing coz I can totally see u doing that lol
BETTY BOOB says: it was kak funny
Tipsy Tart says: well I had a friend who pukes on brayton (SP) paulse shoes once
BETTY BOOB says: OMG wahahahahaha
BETTY BOOB says: oh and Graham Smith was upstairs with us too, he's such a loser
NO personality
Tipsy Tart says: HE doesnt look like he has one
BETTY BOOB says: he's really droog hey and the chicks were all over him GROSS
he has a huge shnozz
Tipsy Tart says: So is that Breyton guy he thinks he is the shit
BETTY BOOB says: they think they so hot OMG it's pathetic
Tipsy Tart says: I could actually see the crowd directly over his head
short shit
BETTY BOOB says: that's so funny
Tipsy Tart says: he barely made it over the bar counter
BETTY BOOB says: (rofl) wahahahaha that's kak funny
Tipsy Tart says: I personally enjoy completley disregarding celebrities to piss em off
altho once I nearly got into trouble with the mafia lol but thats another story for another drink lol
Ditsy says: what tt?
BETTY BOOB says: tell me the mafia story!
Tipsy Tart says: did i ever tell u about the time when I lost my friend good times
BETTY BOOB says: no TT tell us
Tipsy Tart says: well the mafia one is quite cool coz when Im drunk i get rude
we booked VIP and cudeta and we had champagne and snacks etc with a red rope so other ppl cant come in, so im drinking and being merry and this dudes with suites on just kind of walk in and make themselves comfy and im like looking at them like this :^)
BETTY BOOB says: you sound so bad ass, i can picture it
Tipsy Tart says: and then i get an attitude and im like: wtf - Ive paid for this place, this is a private party blah blah blah and u can just imagine it, real classy hanging slightly to the left (the side thats holding the glass ofcourse) and the one dude gets up and walks out and comes back in and sits
and Im screaming: I cant fucking believe this: are u fucking deaf and dumb? so the manager calls me and asks me to pls not cause a scene but they are mafia and they cant do anything unfortunaltey, they come in often
: anyway I ignored them for the rest of the night - but kept giving them dirty looks
BETTY BOOB says: OMG TT wahahahahahaha jirre they could have killed you lol
Tipsy Tart says: I COmpletely forgot about it, only told P next day, he wasnt impressed with me
fuck man its expensive, they dont fucking shit ice cream man
BETTY BOOB says: ha ha ha ja that's true hey, but they like ****, they feel that they are ENTITLED to whatever they want
Tipsy Tart says: ditto
BETTY BOOB says: tell the story of when you lost your friend
Tipsy Tart says: Meliza Boobs (thin one with big boobs) real lady, doesnt drink etc
Im actually the only one that gets motherless to be honest,so I take her out for her bday
we having a moerse jol (I think her brother was with) and I was telling the DJ its her bday, all the barmen,we were standing on the stage anouncing to the whole club - u know, super excited
DJ kept giving us tequila out of a glass, the last time i remember seeing her was when we were lesbo vrying on the stage lol
BETTY BOOB says: OMG wahkahahahahahahahaha
Tipsy Tart says: so me and Natalie were dancing and at about 3am they close the bar so we decided fuck that lets go : and we couldnt find Betty Boobiza
she was pooooooooof gone
Tipsy Tart says: asked her brother, nope, so we start a search hahaha
found her asleep half under the bar lol
BETTY BOOB says: lekker dronk
Tipsy Tart says: recognised her bleach blonde hair thank GOD
BETTY BOOB says: wahahaha thats so funny
Tipsy Tart says: so we wanna carry her out and she keeps asking for her handbag
Tipsy Tart says: WTF,where? eventually found it behind the DJ box
funny ending to that story
Tipsy Tart says: we take her home with us, me, her and P in the bed, I sleep way under the Duvet, all she remembers is waking up and looking into P face, she jumped up and ran screaming out fo the room
BETTY BOOB says: probably thought OMF i shagged TT's boyfriend she gonna kill me lol
Ditsy says: makes me feel better about my nights out lately
Tipsy Tart says: yes
BETTY BOOB says: YOH that's funny ha ha
Tipsy Tart says: all we could hear were her bangles jingling as she ran lol
Good old days.......
and then DIRECTLY after L,u will die of shock - I cant carry children
Faulty says: tt u still hot man
Boss lady: at one stage I used to have a 6 pack, DH really misses that. he is forever telling me to gym and I don;t gym, the six pack was just there, and then I got pregs and then it was gone
with my enthusiasm to do something bout it
Tipsy Tart says: why does BB wanna c baby picture of L, does she wanna make fun of my child?
Faulty says: ok i wasnt i was still just as lazy
Tipsy Tart: ditto I didnt gym either, altho we were more active, walking etc
i dont walk anywhere anymore
Boss lady says: no I actually sat way more on my ass than now
Tipsy Tart says: nah we used to do stuff atleast
Boss lady says: I use to drink maybe that was the key, I danced myself a six pack
makes sense
Tipsy Tart says: lol yeah well we used to club alot, enough I never used to drink at all
only drank when me and P split
Boss lady says: I use to drink whiskey and water or vodka and soda water and lime and red wine
Tipsy Tart says: and then when L turned 2 i started drinking red wine
I would have like 1 vodka and lemonade, apparently Im more fun when I drink
go figure
Faulty says: dont worry i am also more fun when i drink
Boss lady says: nah faulty, u fun either way
Faulty says: now days im fun when i have energy to say more than two words
Tipsy Tart says: some ppl have the talent of becoming really annoying when they are drunk
Betty Boob says: i have been drinking for years, i am a fun drunk
Boss lady says: I really don't know how I get cuz I can never remember
Tipsy Tart says: yeah me too, well when I dont throw up or fall over
BETTY BOOB says: oh i also fall, but that's irrelevant
i remember up until a specific point,i never remember arriving back home
Faulty says: i cant remember names
BETTY BOOB says: i just wake up the next day
i've never been slutty, well not that i can remember, again, maybe what i thought was sexy, was in fact slutty
Tipsy Tart says: P says one night at a club when I was 18 he was watching me and I vryed two guys same night lol
FUck great story
me and P were sortof seeing eachother, we were both 18, so there's like always certain places that become popular and everyone who is anyone will be there on a saturday night
and me and my GF's were there and my friend saw P vrying another girl and she punched him in the face
classic
P has a 'hit me' face
BETTY BOOB says: OMG whaahahahahaha
Faulty says: pmsl
Thursday, May 28, 2009
What is your number?
Number 2No matter what, every one will love you because you are ruled by the Moon.You day dream a lot, you have a very low-self esteem, you need to have aback up for every move in your life, you are very unpredictable. Youtend to change according to time and circumstances, selfish, have a very strong sense of musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication.You can be sweet as an angel and can be ruthless when double-crossed.Some might say you have a sixth sense. You will become a poet, writer,an artist or a business person. You are not strong in love, so yourrelationship will be in disarray until you settle down. If you are agirl, you will be responsible for your family. If you are a man, youtend to get involve in fights & arguments in the family. You willsacrifice your life for your family. You are gentle, intuitive with abroad vision. You make a well-balanced person.
Boss lady - Faulty - Betty Boob
Number 3You are hard hearted and selfish most of the time. You always tend tohave lots of problems within your family in the early stages but youwill be able to cope with everything. You seem to have your way in everything. And from birth you would always have to work hard to achieveanything you want. You always make a point to set examples on others,especially the younger ones. Generally you are not a cool person. It'snot easy dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you arecomfortable with someone, it will be a lasting friendship. You alwaysearn respect from others. You seem to have lots of worries and problemsbut they won't be for long. You will have brilliant kids! You love moneya bit too much so temptation will push you to try endlessly. You willlook after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life timejust being generous and kind (except for men born on the 21st). You loveyour freedom, creative and ambitious, a person who brings beauty, hope &le joy to this world!!!
Pookie
Number 4 You are very stubborn, very hard working but unlucky in importantmatters in life, very cool and helpful. You might repel people away fromyou, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man, as you giftedare with understanding other people's problems. If you are a girl, youexcel in your studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of yourtime with girlfriends and you tend to have too much fun with your mates & girls.Your friends will spend your time & money and get on with their life andyou will be left empty handed. So be careful! You love to spend. Yourpositive side is that you are always around to help family and friends.You always fall in love with those younger than you. You often live withdisappointments but you will take good care of your family. You need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. Andbeware of your relationships too. You are radical, patient, persistent,and a hit old-fashioned; you live with foundation & order.
Vlam
Number 6Ooopppss.. you were born to enjoy! You don't care about others. I meanyou always wanted to have a lifetime of enjoyment. You will excel ineither education or business management! You are talented, kind (butwith only people who you think are nice), and popular. All good thingscome easily to you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.You are loveable by any number. But if you are a number 6 men, you willbe involved in more than a few relationships until you get married. Ifyou are a girl, most of you will get married/engaged early. You are acaring person towards your family and friends. You are a person ofcompassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment,and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for everyonebecause you have the great power and caring talent to take the world of love one step further..
Jaggi - the Psycho
Number 9You guys are the most incompatible people in the world. You are sostrong, physically and mentally. You often have big-aims. You will work hard and will think it's still hard to get there, even if you alreadyhave gotten there! Normally you suffer in the early age from familyproblems and generally you will have to fight in life. You are respectedby others. You were however very naughty in your childhood, and oftengot beaten up by your parents and had been involved in fights and youseemed to have suffered lots of injuries. But when you grow older youbecome calm and will fall into the quiet and dignified macho type. Loveis not an easy matter for you. You are however good in engineering orbanking jobs because people always trust you. Your family life is verygood, but you will always worry over your children. Your finer qualitiesare that you are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. Youare born to achieve targets and serve every one equally without any prejudice. You are a role model for everyone.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Swearing toddlers, really? NO!!!! *shock*
Tipsy Tart : (puke) OMG BB hahaha
Boss lady: whahah BB
Tipsy Tart : L has never said an afrikaans word in his life
Boss lady: ja well I seriously need to watch myself as well, my child also copies me, like when she drops something she goes OH Crap
Tipsy Tart : OMG hahah
Jaggi: My child speaks mostly afr
Tipsy Tart : OH crap is still ok better than Oh fuck
Betty Boob: My brat says everything. it's impossible to have a conversation via phone coz he copies everything and if you IGNORE him, OMG, then he screams in your face till you acknowledge him
Ditsy: HEY oh fuck's not THAT bad
Jaggi: my child just copies words at the mo...but then forgets them again
Boss lady: she said fuck once and we pretended not to hear it
Kama Sutra: when you say a swear word in our house my child will say,moenie fok se nie dis lelik en ek gaan peper in jou mond gooi even to our friends, very embarresing
Ditsy: My child now says oh fudge
Jaggi: Well taught K!
Boss lady: lol cute
Kama Sutra: cause I put pepper in he's mouth once and he hasn't said a swear word since
Betty Boob: I just ignore it
Boss lady: except to tell u not to say it
Tipsy Tart : My child luckily doesn’t swear, he doesn’t know shit is ugly - I only told him recently bwah
Betty Boob: OMG he said FUCK at the lunch table - DH's sister almost died wanted to dig a hole for myself
Boss lady: whahahah
Tipsy Tart : OMG BB well-done haha -what a proud moment man
Kama Sutra: and what did you do
Tipsy Tart : why - I would laugh my ass off
Betty Boob: nothing, she was like WHAT DID HE SAY??? so I was like "FORK" - he sometimes can't pronounce it properly, damn I lie so well
Kama Sutra: great come back
Jaggi: :good cover-up!!! I would've cracked myself!
Kama Sutra: I also laugh when my child swears but I know that will only make him do it more because he thinks he's getting attention
Tipsy Tart : I would’ve just said 'no my child, that a big person word"
Boss lady: Faulty, my child told me this morning that I am a silly nana
Tipsy Tart : OMG B DONT LIE my child tells me everyday I’m a silly banana
weird
What’s new with your brat?
Boss lady: She is very good with him, except that she screams at him and chases him around a bit, but other than that, she hasn't even tried to pick it up yet
Tipsy Tart: she doesn’t try and squash him?
Boss lady: nope -she did fall over him once but they both were ok, they kind of ran into each other
Tipsy Tart: OMG hahaha
Faulty: get L a rat; ask B how good K is with them
Boss lady: lol yes she is
Tipsy Tart: L is fascinated with bird shit – a rat?
Betty Boob: bwahaha my child is obsessed with anything that moves
Faulty: yes a pet rat, they slow so they don’t run which makes them not try squeeze them etc
Tipsy Tart: I don’t know hey L is weird he will probably scream and get cross and tell me the rat wants to eat him
Betty Boob: OMG this morning when I fetch him he says there's a man in his room I think we're entering that stage
Kama Sutra: lol cute BB
Betty Boob: my brat picks up everything and if he can't, then he rides it bwahahaha, obsessing over bird shit is weird
Tipsy Tart: I must tell u two stories its kak funny, oh wait 3
First one
we driving in the car and he says 'pardon’ then he says 'pardon' again and I look at him and he says: I fart alot hey mom, fuck that was kak funny
no.2
he talks ALOT and he rambles on and on, so he was talking something about monsters are at home in his room and I said no they not and he said :O YES they are -I saw them!!!! its ok - my daddy will box them dead
no.3
every morning we step out the door threes bird shit coz the birds poop from the roof and every morning he says: mom watch out for the bird shit
Kama Sutra: wonder where he heard that
Tipsy Tart : and yest there was a massive poop on the floor (I think the bird must’ve digested a rat or something) well L was so excited, mom look at that BIG bird shit WOW - its HUGE man so we get home and the cleaners cleant up, Mom the BIG bird shit is gone
like as in WOW
and I had to give him a high 5 but his teacher taught him to say Popo coz shit is ugly
Betty Boob: bwahahahahahahaha OMG TT he is kak funny
Tipsy Tart : so last nite he sits on the toilet and screams MOM I’m having a popo I’ll call u ok and I’m like ok and he goes OOOOOOoh AAAAH that was a really big one man, my bum is sore, mom come and look at this big one (and that happens alot)
Kama Sutra: D also use to call it KAK and now he calls it bollie -sound weird
Betty Boob: that's insane hahaha
Faulty: omg bwahahahhahah
Kama Sutra: he sounds like you more and more
Tipsy Tart : he is always very pleased with himself if it was big, he likes us to see 'it'
Friday, April 24, 2009
ramblings of a insane mommy whos imagination went wild
Tipsy Tart says: wait B - im coming i will wash ur back
pooookie says: i dunno wtf u guys are on about
Tipsy Tart says: me either so dont worry hey pookie i have a new look for u
the japanese school girl
first u need
suspenders
long socks
two ponytails (sides of head)
dark make up
school shirt
and bubble gum
faulty says: lol go poookie go poookie u can do that look
pooookie says: ha ha ha ha
Tipsy Tart says: and to spice it up u can lend my bubble gum ;)
pooookie says: ha ha ha haha
Tipsy Tart says: im too old
i cant pull it off
pooookie says: im following in tt's footsteps
Tipsy Tart says: OMG and if u want to we can get u one of those whips they hit the horses with
or a pen
whatever looks best
now i can c u in that
*day dreaming about pookie*
pooookie says: im keen..lets dooooo et
Tipsy Tart says: yay
take ALOT of pics
now do we have to wait for terence to bring the suspenders
pooookie says: i dont know so much about the sharing ur saliva part though
Tipsy Tart says: i dont wait well
pooookie says: ha ha
Tipsy Tart says: i will teach u so dont worry
pooookie says: il have to harrass him
Tipsy Tart says: re: sharing saliva
pooookie says: lol
pooookie says: faulty tt scares me sometimes
Tipsy Tart says: faulty is gone its just u adn I
pooookie says: i have enough of my own saliva dont ya think?
Vlam says: LMFAO @ pookie
Tipsy Tart says: be afraid
pooookie says: omg.. keeenky
Tipsy Tart says: shared bubble gum brings in the nawty factor ok
pooookie says: lol
Tipsy Tart says: dont cheat
pooookie says: it gives me a lil bit of that lesbo look yeah?
Tipsy Tart says: have u watchecd toyko drift
pooookie says: yeah
Tipsy Tart says: well thats us
ok
kapeesh
pooookie says: ha ha ha
Tipsy Tart says: im picturing faulty in langerie taking care of the kids
B soaked in bubbles and pookie dancing around in her toyko outfit and jaggie is my fav
i imagine her with tight bun, glasses pen in the mouht bottle of gin under the table
checking out the cute mail man doing deliveries hahaha
Vlam says: stop making yourself horny.. p not gonna give u anything.. he still smells puke
Jaggie slides off the chair
Tipsy Tart says: geez now i need to pee
Vlam says: same here
Tipsy Tart says: more than three wipes is masturbating hey
Vlam says: meet u at the loo
Jaggie says: pmsl!!! you chicks are too funny!
cleaning the stains
Tipsy Tart says: ask vlam I foned her and then right after i puked in P car
BETTY BOOB says: bwahahahahaha, classic where were you?
Tipsy Tart says: my dads birthday
faulty says: pmsl
Tipsy Tart says: hahahaha
BETTY BOOB says: OMG ha ha
Tipsy Tart says: i danced on the table then P took me home hahaha
BETTY BOOB says: i'm proud of you
Tipsy Tart says: so am I
BETTY BOOB says: i'm doing that on saturday at the wedding bwah i even bought shoes that come off easily lol did you take pics?
Tipsy Tart says: good thinking, Tipsy Tart says: oh heavens no, i was too drunk
Tipsy Tart says: i tried to sms and failed poorly
BETTY BOOB says: bwahahaha
Jaggi says: pmsl Wahaha TT...you go girl!
Tipsy Tart says: P says he has never seen me so drunk, i thought i was going to choke on my own puke it was nasty
BETTY BOOB says: eek man
Tipsy Tart says: i puked on my own lap and in my hair , ah precious moments
BETTY BOOB says: i know it's great bwahaha
Vlam says: bwahahahahah gals it was kak funny....
i'll come tell u just now.. and her spelling OMW.....
We all on a pee break
Tipsy Tart says: drunk friend here
Vlam says: hey u! is p's car clean yet?
Vlam says: j hosed himself when i told him. even he said its' p's fault! LMFAO
Vlam says: these were my drunk msg....
Vlam says: I'm so Fukn druxk
and
Im fucked motheqelds...... my friend u can be glad i understand terrible drunk sms language! Haha
Tipsy Tart says: P car still full of puke coz valets were closed yes he very cross lol
Vlam says: no yuck man....
Tipsy Tart says: i didnt know there was a whole in the bag man
Vlam says: bwahahah LMFAO atleast u tried the bag first.. hahah so much for your GHD'd hair
P should've taken pics!
BETTY BOOB says: puking doesn't count if you don't puke all over yourself -(
Vlam says: no shame.. puking photo's... thats a real bad one
Tipsy Tart says: was purple
BETTY BOOB says: ha ha
Vlam says: shit... yes the red wine fuck i hope they get it all out , he prob swore all the way to the valet this morning
Tipsy Tart says: he doesnt think it'll come out and his car is his love hey i think he hates me
Vlam says: Nah he'll get over it.. if i was you i'd be worried bout the payback he's gonna give u...
payback's a bitch
Tipsy Tart says: he was cross with shiver yest too coz when he woke up shiver peed in the bathroom, plus the smell of my puke hahaha he has the car polished etc like once a month
BETTY BOOB says: VODKA removes wine stains , well according to an email i got
Vlam says: YEAH prob if you clean it immediately.. not like 2 days later ;)
Tipsy Tart says: he foned now, going to cost R100
Monday, April 20, 2009
Desperate Housewives
Tipsy Tart: ME
Boss lady: why can’t we just be naked, like god made us
Tipsy Tart: not me thanks
Faulty: caused then R and K will want nookie all the time
Tipsy Tart: nah then P wouldn’t want nooki trust me
Kama Sutra: lol ditto TT and I really don't wanna see other woman's koekie's
Boss lady: or even better idea can;t they make a super auper extra strenght deodrant, and we can wear the same clothes all the time
Kama Sutra: gross
Tipsy Tart: yeah one for P then maybe i might want nookie hahaha
Vlam: bwah hahaha
Boss lady: no seriously, all I do is washing and the maid was here yesterday
Faulty: I feel ur pain
Boss lady: it is impossible for 3 people to wear so much clothes
Tipsy Tart: geez u bitches are housewives AND have maids fucking hell now im sad
Boss lady: just once a week
Faulty: just twice a week, oh wait 3 times a week
Kama Sutra: I never have a maid and I hate housework
Vlam: I am the maid
Kama Sutra: ditto V so is I, yeah but F you have 2 kids running around
Boss lady: and I need a dishwasher and tumble dryer ASAP
Kama Sutra: yeah B I can't do without my dishwasher hey
Tipsy Tart: I also need dishwasher
Boss lady: and your house is big Faulty
Kama Sutra: I HATE washing dishes
Tipsy Tart: I wash all the time
Boss lady: me 2 TT
Kama Sutra: I don't mind washing clothes R always forgets he's money in he's pockets - finder’s keepers
Tipsy Tart: and I’m always doing washing, I HATE it
Boss lady: I am going to invent some super extra strength deodorant and eat out of paper plates
Tipsy Tart: yes good idea
Boss lady: oh and not cook anything
Kama Sutra: lol paper plate’s good idea and they can eat with their hands out of tins
Tipsy Tart: yes no more cooking lol
Boss lady: yes
Tipsy Tart: YES
Kama Sutra: imagine that
Boss lady: or plastic forks that u can throw away
Kama Sutra: and give them "borslappe" so they don't mess on their clothes, the ones that catch the food so they can eat it for supper again then you safe on food too
Boss lady: YES, seeing that we will need to buy a lot of plastic sheets we need to save here
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
whose more vulgar - YOU ARE!!!!
my god, but we are funny OMG i can't stop laughing
Tipsy Tart says: we are disgusting hey hahahaha
Betty boob says: OMG i'm shocked at us, especially us 2 (blush)
Tipsy Tart says: yeah we are quite vulgar hey - way worse than the other girls hahahaha
Betty Boob says: i know gosh real potty mouths
that's like fancy english
Tipsy Tart says: hahahaha let try and polish our acts, surely we can be vulgar in a nice manner
Betty boob says: mmmmmmmmm i'm not so sure hey
Tipsy Tart says: yeah me either hahahahha
Betty boob says: i bet that guy won't be chatting to you anymore now that he knows what you're like with your girl friends bwah
Tipsy Tart says: u know now that uve said that
Betty boob says: he's quiet, isn't he?
Tipsy Tart says: ive sent him several msgs on skype which he hasnt returned (blush)
Betty boob says: OMG (blush) that's kak funny
Tipsy Tart says: OMG hahahahaha oh lord
Betty boob says: im about to piss in my pants
Tipsy Tart says: and to think i sent him pics of my feet
Betty boob says: OMG phone him
Tipsy Tart says: Nah he will come back for more
Betty boob says: he's probably showing his friends our blog
Tipsy Tart says: OVERSHARE i think it was best we didnt use our names hey
Betty boob says: i know (blush shit how embarrassing
Tipsy Tart says: ok i spat tea on my keyboard
Betty boob says: i can't get over how vulgar i am - shit no wonder i have more guy friends than girl friends it's terrible
Tipsy Tart says: and im afraid to go to the loo coz my friend says he going to tell my colleague WHY i flush the loo 3 times
Betty boob says: now you can't take a dump in peace anymre
ok i'm going to the loo i'll flush 3 times
Friday, February 13, 2009
Sunburnt Nipples
Tipsy Tart: but u are a red head how the fuck do u tan babe? and the frekkles? haha
Kamasutra: hallooo girls
Tipsy Tart: i have to see this - post me a pic! hey kamasutra ;)
Kamasutra: what you girls skindering about???
Vlam: forget it!!!! bout my red boobies... got burnt on the sunbed.. lol
Kamasutra: V you must put sunblock on your nipples,girl!!!!
Vlam: no frekkies not that bad babe. oh but not my nipples that are burnt the soft white flesh between my boobs....
Kamasutra: o ok....
Vlam: i've got very light skin also think thats why sunbed made me bit red...: more pink actually
Kamasutra: I wanna go for a brazillian wax,any of you been? I have tried all the beauty
therapists in George,but none of them do it
Vlam: nee fok, eina..... jy's braaf ek skeer eerder
Kamasutra: leke plaas dorpie die
Vlam: See TT, now thats the bundus not us... hahahahah
Tipsy Tart: no Vlam u dont understand - they atleast have a freaking airport haha
Vlam: hey so do we cow....
Tipsy Tart: ja one flight PER DAY from joburg ONLY whoop whoop
Vlam: u suck man.... we have plenty flights.....
MEN!!! Tisk Tisk
Tipsy Tart: like what? are u still getting a butterfly
Ditsy: i’ll send you a pic, but now R says he doesn't want his porcelain dolly getting one
Tipsy Tart: which one u like most? i cant decide
Ditsy: i donno, but looks like R isn't going to let me get one - he says its not me
Tipsy Tart: let you? whats that? P knows better than to tell me - mind u, he does try ;)
Ditsy: lol - ok, good thing you already married babe. Was P also very romantic in the beginning of your relationship, and then it got to no romance??
Tipsy Tart: yes!!!! i dont even get prezzies
Ditsy: yeah, mines driving me mad- he keeps saying what do i want as a prezzie, the more i tell him to surprise me, the more he says he doesn't know what to get me. i think i should just buy my OWN prezzies from now on
Tipsy Tart: they dont get it that its the thought that counts - last minute makes me feel so unthought of and neglected
Ditsy: DITTO!!!: its like he DID forget its my bday
Tipsy Tart: exactly
Ditsy: oi! and then he ends it off with:: we'll order some pizza or something - k
Tipsy Tart: what -oh my goooooooooooooooood
Ditsy: how exhilarating, so for anniversary it was a flop, and now this too - we EVER win
Tipsy Tart: nope i dont think so hey
Ditsy: maybe i'm just spoilt, but its his fault - he spoilt me in the beginning............. boat cruises.......sunset drinks
Tipsy Tart: then he got u pregnant ;)
Ditsy: yeah - TWICE!
Multiples O's........
Vlam: ... u girls never had multiple o's???
Jaggi: NO!!! (blush) explain
Vlam: its one orgasm and like 2-3 min later another one... its the best thing ever...
Betty Boob: no i haven't
Tipsy Tart: why would u continue after you already O'd? i just say "ok get off' then i go to loo and then sleep
Vlam: ok, TT that vibro thingy did u guys use it
Tipsy Tart: no we didnt Vlam
Betty Boob: ha ha ha HB
Vlam: TT NO MAN!!!! when u gonna use it.. that gives multiple o's but that one u got is one u get with the lube...
Kamasutra: I have multiple O's but after another,we don't just have sex once,we have sex then cuddle a bit and kiss and then have sex again
Tipsy Tart: ag no Kamasutra why?: i just wanna slee,he musnt even look at me - i'll smack him
Kamasutra: haha I don't know why,cause I like it that way
Vlam: i promise u once u've had a multiple o.... u want it over and over again..
Jaggi: no we do it, both O then its over. Then back at it next day again
Friday, January 30, 2009
Drink yourself a personality
Jaggie says: (wave)sorry...looks like you are all alone out here
Ditsy says: seems so hey its bad enough that i talk to myself hey
Jaggie says: Talking to yourself is fine...its when u start boring yourself that it gets a bit much
Ditsy says: YOU TELLING ME!! i'm at that point today babe its frightening
Jaggie says: (rofl)gees and you cant even have a drink or 2 to give yourself more personality!
Ditsy says: bwaha, lucky for me, i already got loads of that hey
Jaggie says: not when you bore yourself when u talk to yourself i meant...
Tipsy Tart says: *digging in nose* huh?
Ditsy says: *waddles off to get a cookie*
Vlam: hey Debs, u freaking fast hey.... don't even give me a chance to finish.... lol
Ditsy says: she quick hey think she's bored? or just one of them super women ppl
Vlam says: ja dammit speedy gonzales se gat lol
Jaggie says: yes she is....says she to herself (whats the point of being a gemini if u cant be a
schitzo) some times u r a gem...and sometimes a naai
Boobies and Milk
Faulty: yea
Jaggi: oh yes!!!
Faulty: i gott droopy boobs
Ditsy says: i got pregnancy boobies now
Faulty: can use them as an ad for boob jobs or somthing
Ditsy: BEEG ones
Jaggi: mine too! they look at my toes
Ditsy: hahahaha
Jaggi: My boobs stayed the same
Ditsy: rolling on the floor : mine got HUGE with Chey
Jaggi: GET UP YOUNG LADY! You must knock your bump -: DH must've loved that!
Ditsy: ooo he did o Gooness that reminds me
Faulty: im greatfull that mine are long though -K tries to touch them and he touches my chest and he normally too tiered to look for them
Ditsy: the one morning, while i was BF R decides he wants nookie so we at it and next thing i know, i got streams of milk pouring out
Faulty: i shot keith with my milk
Jaggi: I was a bad cow :( so DHgot his boobies back very soon
Faulty: i used to come out the shower and it was sparyain out with full force so i make shotgun sounds and shot him with milk
Jaggi: :Oyoh lucky u!!!
Ditsy: lol Debs, i had so much milk
To drink or not to drink.... that is the question
EEEEEEEEEK!
Tipsy Tartsays: i dont know, i will c
DH says i can but i dont think its fair lol
Jaggie says: Well good on you both!!!! I will have to get pregnant before I can (wasntme)
Boss Lady says: drink like us - in moderation as soon as u feel tipsy switch to water
Tipsy Tartsays: what? never? haha
yeah i drink in moderation and every now and again i let my hiar down esp on girls nights
Jaggie says: oh no...by that time my brain switches off...and wont think of drinking water
Tipsy Tart says: DH on the other hand ALWAYS gets drunk so he has decided its easier to stop then to pace himself
i wouldnt drink water either, kind of doesnt make sense to drink then in the first place lol
Jaggie says: I suppose everything in moderation!
Tipsy Tart says: than not then
Boss Lady says: I just don;t like being completly drunk out of my mind and feeling like shit the next day
Tipsy Tart says: me either Boss lady
Jaggie says: (puke) i agree!!! Esp with a kid...
Boss Lady says: and we drink vodka most of the time so the people think we r still drinking and nobody feeds us more drinks lol
Tipsy Tart says: i also drink vodka
Jaggie says: Wine makes me shitfaced...so now I stick to whisky and water (esp after fri night!)
Boss Lady says: lol or we just have coke
Jaggie says: Clever ;)
Tipsy Tartsays: ditto Jaggie, im off the wine, makes me fucked outta my mind
i enjoy getting to that level where everything is fun, but u still look ok and know whats wrong and right lol
Jaggie says: YES EXACTLY!!! I now know to stop and go to bed when i start karoaking to guns n roses! Then I know i am past my sell by date
Boss Lady says: wahahaha
Tipsy Tart says: lol nah thats when the fun starts, when i try and pole dance then i know im a goner
Jaggie says: (rofl)
Faulty says: i have to admit
Tipsy Tart says: or when i start ordering drinks for the strangers standing next to me at the bar
Faulty says: i dont know when to stop
Jaggie says: wahahaha what a waste!!
Tipsy Tart says: we not saying we stop, we just saying this is what happens lol
Jaggie says: Lol Faulty!!!
Faulty says: lol i stop when i passed out with my croakmaster
Tipsy Tart says: hahahahaha
Jaggie says: wahahaha! (d)
"Mommy's gone wild" come in all shapes and sizes
Vlam says: lol
Faulty says: im like a heffalump against Boss lady
Jaggie says: Well said Hunnibunni!
Bettyboob says: bwahaha
Jaggie says: (rofl)i am like a heffalump ANYWAY
Faulty says: (rofl)
Tipsy Tart says: i look like a giraffe, thin neck and big bum lo
Bettyboob says: bwahaha
Jaggie says: Atleast I am in shape....round IS A SHAPE (rofl)
Bettyboob says: bwahaha so true i like your positive outlook on life
Faulty says: ha ha ha Jaggi, thas funny
im also round
Jaggie says: well i know my 6pack is here...its just hiding beneath my PAPSAK!
Faulty says: BWAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Jaggie says: whatever Faulty!!!
Faulty says: but its true -although i think i am more oval
"Mommy's gone wild" come in all shapes and sizes
u need to eat more man, u freaking skinny, it should be illegal to be so skinny, u make us all look fat
Vlam says: lol
Faulty says: im like a heffalump against Boss lady
Jaggie says: Well said Hunnibunni!
Bettyboob says: bwahaha
Jaggie says: (rofl)i am like a heffalump ANYWAY
Faulty says: (rofl)
Hunnibunni says: i look like a giraffe, thin neck and big bum lol
Bettyboob says: bwahaha
Jaggie says: Atleast I am in shape....round IS A SHAPE (rofl)
Bettyboob says: bwahaha so true
i like your positive outlook on life
Faulty says: ha ha ha Jaggi, thas funny
im also round
Jaggie says: well i know my 6pack is here...its just hiding beneath my PAPSAK!
Faulty says: BWAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Jaggie says: whatever Faulty!!!
Faulty says: but its true -although i think i am more oval
And somtimes I hear voices...
Bettyboob says: bwahaha
Faulty says: they always telling me to have a smoke
Bettyboob says: but that's coz of all the drugs
Faulty says: and coffee
Faulty says: PMSL
Jaggie says: lol Faulty...the voices in your head are trying to ESCAPE from you!
Tipsy Tart says: i also hear voices, but they arent devine, theyre neurotic
Bettyboob says: ha ha
Faulty says: that could be it too
Adoption
Bettyboob says: bwah why?
Kamasutra says: haha
Jaggie says: My mom came over on friday at 3pm for a glass of wine...so we klapped 2 bottles of wine..then got stuck into Jack and it all went downhill from there! So we cant have 2 dronkies in the family...so I need to find a (sober) family
Bettyboob says: bwahahahahahahaha
Kamasutra says: lol
Bettyboob says: ok well i can't take you in
Jaggie says: Damn! Wahahaha Hunnibunni will have to then!
Bettyboob says: ha ha yes well she is the sober one now lol
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Skinny jeans
Betty Boob: bwah
Faulty: how the hell my ass gonna fit into a pair god only knows
Betty Boob: i would never wear skinny jeans i'm too pear shaped
Boss Lady: I love my skinny jeans I am also pear shaped BB
Betty Boob: ja because you are SKINNY oh rubbish
Boss Lady: u just need to find the right pair
Faulty: well BL you perfect for them skinny jeans and mmmmmmm pear shaped i dont think so im pumpkin shaped
Boss Lady: I am soo pear shaped
Betty Boob: Boss Lady is just trying to make conversation - there is nothing pear shaped about her
Boss Lady: my ass is huge
Betty Boob: WE HAVE SEEN PICS OF YOU REMEMBER blegh
Boss Lady: lmao not nekked ones lmao
Faulty: yea we know what u look like
Betty Boob: ja but if you had a big arse, you wouldn't agree to a photo shoot man
Boss Lady: I hide it well
Betty Boob: you're one of those mothers who is hated and resented by other fat mothers lol
Boss Lady: hahahah
Betty Boob: a yummy mummy is the term
Faulty: or milf
Betty Boob: bwah
The fisherman's tale
Betty Boob: eeuw that's disgusting no thank yoU!
Boss lady: gross
Kamasutra: I make him wash he's hands with lemon that's the only thing that takes the smell away
Betty boob: TG C doesn't like fishingphew
Boss lady: u must let him shower with sunlight liquid
Faulty: crickey u all can talk
Kamasutra: yeah that's an idea
Betty Boob: imagine how that dries your skin
Kamasutra: he always says he's tollie doesn't smell so he doesn't know why i'm turned off
WTF
Toys Toys Toys
what does excercise have to do with it?
Faulty: ooooooohhhhhhhhhh LUCKY YOU
Tipsy Tart: i know - now i cant wait to fall pergnant lol
Faulty: dont stress bout falling pregit takes longer
Betty boob: tha't fab!!
Tipsy Tart: thanks for the advice Faulty lol
my vjj is tired of all the pomping anyway
Betty boob: good!at least you're doing your homework!
Faulty: when ever i go on diet i fall pregnantso i not going on diet and never excercising
Tipsy Tart: what u call that lube stuff - we have a blue one - and its up already - so now u know...........
Betty boob: KY
Faulty: all the other pregnancies just didnt last
Betty boob: hell so you got a great excuse to NOT diet
Faulty: when i decide to loose weight and get fit - bam pregnant in a monthso no getting thin and no healthy lifestyle NO NO NO
Betty Boob: sounds great to me!
Faulty: maybe in 4 years time i will think about being healthy and thin again
Betty Boob: lol AND pregnant
Faulty: yip bwaaaahhhhhhaaaa i decided that if i want kids to make my family as big as i want i gonna have to have two sets of twins, well if i wait a few years inbetween i gonna be so old
Betty Boob: bwahahahaha
Wayne's World
Tipsy Tart: am i real?
Betty boob: yes
Tipsy Tart: depends......
Betty boob: ha ha
Tipsy Tart: u ever watch that movie about the guy who made a celebrity out of that computer program, im like her
this is my computer talking boooooooohhhhaaaaaaaaa
Betty boob: omg you a nut
Kamasutra: simone
Tipsy Tart: SIMONE!!!!!! it is I, wayne
Kamasutra: WTF
Tipsy Tart: c its working already
Vlam: i'm lost
Tipsy Tart: i'll come find you, might take a few weeks, but DONT GO ANYWHERE
Betty boob: OMG you are so weird
Tipsy Tart: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG - are u having sex there BB, with all the swearing etc
Betty boob: yes with my hand - why do you ask?
Tipsy Tart: coz I c u
Kamasutra: you should really become a stand up comedian
Betty boob: bwahahaha
Gifts and gadgets
Tipsy Tart: ditto
Ditsy: i agree! we can do valentines day and mommy's day and our birthdays AND Christmas
Vlam: hahaha slow down eager beaver.. u just want alot of sex toys...geez women
Ditsy: OF COURSE! imagine the variety we'd have! we'd NEVER complain about our libidos again
Vlam: lol ja.. u'd better stock up on rechargeable batts...
Ditsy: and we'd all be skinny cause of all the humping and orgasms grrrrrrrrr our men will WORSHIP us
Vlam: now well thats a plan....
Ditsy: bwahaha! see - not just a pretty face hey!
Tipsy Tart: why didnt u guys tell me my friend was lookign for me :@
Vlam: oh sorry i thought you know them being your peeps and all...
Ditsy: i did DINGBAT go read up there ai wee jy moet jy ALTYD so dof wees?
Vlam: hahaha again, pot calling kettle black... hahahaha
Tipsy Tart: bwah joh - cant believe i almost missed an invite to suip - shocking
Ditsy: absolutely NO comment whatsoever!
Vlam: seems like u've had enough already
Ditsy: sighs LOUDLY
Tipsy Tart: laughing at u all
Ditsy: moers Tipsy Tart off her chair
Tipsy Tart: another glass of wine
Ditsy: drinking at work! Shocking!
Tipsy Tart: i wish.........
Ditsy: seems i won't have to hit you off that chair, you'll fall off ALL BY YOURSELF
Betty Boob: jis you lot can talk kak, i'm outta here
Ditsy: trained by the best babe
Alcohol + sex = Ditsy
Boss Lady: offcourse I do
Tipsy Tart: I miss u - not sex talk for a while hey
Betty Boob: ooh i got a question!!!
Vlam: tell us we tell u if its good or not...
Betty Boob: well i just wondered - has anyone's husband / boyfriend had a pee IN YOU while you shagging or is that impossible
Ditsy: DISGUSTING!!
Boss Lady: OMG
Tipsy Tart: lol
Vlam: FUCKING DISGUSTING
Boss Lady: PMSL NOOOOOOOO
Betty Boob: yes but is it possible?
Boss Lady: I have never even thought about that
Vlam: don't think its possible and don't wanna try either...
Tipsy Tart: maybe - if it happened we were most likey very drunk hahaha
Betty Boob: ha ha ha ha TT
Vlam: i can't have sex when i'm drunk all i wanna do is either puke or pass out
Betty Boob: well we were about to do the dirty sunday morning, when the man said he really needs to go pee first and then the thought struck me
Tipsy Tart: BB - DH also usually says he needs to pee first otherwise his balls pain afterwards
Ditsy: my life is so boring, all i do is carry aliens
Tipsy Tart: Your Man is trying to keep you pregnant coz APPARENTLY you and alcohol = bad idea
Betty Boob: yeah she pukes all over him
Vlam: PMSL sis Ditsy
Ditsy: yeah well, too much alcohol and the boobs come out and then a bit further and i pass out
Tipsy Tart: NO - she out drinks and out parties him - he cant keep up - oh and he whispered that she embarasses him bwah
Ditsy: and the problem IS?
Betty Boob: exactly
Tipsy Tart: dittoDitsy - im like that sober haha
Betty Boob: i'm lank embarrassing when i'm drunk - it's great
Vlam: i get loud and giggly.... oh and i smoke. (puke)
Tipsy Tart: so am i BB - out of body experience - thats my story and im sticking to it
Boss Lady: I am embarasing and I don;t even need a drink
Tipsy Tart: stick with us - we kak cool
Ditsy: i dont need no alcohol to be fun or embarrassing
Once upon a time my feet stank
Betty Boob: bwah gross!
Tipsy Tart: wearing pomps
Betty Boob: pomps? bwahaha
Ditsy: its when you have sex mel, you pomp except Tipys Tart having the plural
Tipsy Tart: well what u call those ballerina shoes
Betty Boob: PUMPS
Ditsy: oh so its NORMAL to have stinky footsies when you wear those? was wondering hey
Betty Boob: well mine don't stink
Tipsy Tart: ok - putting them back on /me feels dazed and confused / intoxicated
Betty Boob: bwahaha
Tipsy Tart: jirre u know
The day Bettyboob lost 10kg...
'u are not urself today - i noticed the improvement immediately; bwah
wheres Betty Boob
Betty Boob: fuck off man i went for a crap
Vlam: to much info thnx Betty Boob
Ditsy: lol dont remind me, yesterday i went to the loo
Betty Boob feels 10kg lighter
Ditsy: and the bathrooms are right next to each other so i went in for my wee and someone went in next door
Vlam: did u see another guy's dick again...
Tipsy Tart is inlove with Betty Boob - she is crude and rude
Ditsy: next thing you hear: BOINK sheesh, that mustve been one hell of a crap hey!!
Vlam: PMSL.... he was playing battleships man...
Tipsy Tart: haha
Ditsy: lol
Vlam is now also needing a crap ;)
Betty Boob: hope it's a stinker!
Ditsy: sheesh, if we like this without alchohol, imagine WITH alchohol
Vlam: oh fuck... spare us that
Ditsy: i might show you my breastesses
Betty Boob: bwah ok can't wait!!
Vlam: i'll have to now start giving dh LOADS sex to convince him.. oh ja and start saving...
Betty Boob: don't allow me to swim when i'm drunk i think i'm a dolphin
Tipsy Tart: thats reminds me - i fucking sang to boere music last nite – disgusting
Ditsy: NO!! did you dance too?
Vlam: bwahaha thats how i knew she was pissed....
Tipsy Tart: i LOVE sambuca - i c u guys planning a trip to CT
Vlam: yeah baby
Tipsy Tart: we stay at my house, we closer to the clubs and pubs and we have a pool so when we wanna be mermaids only the perv next door will c hahaha
Vlam: fuck i'm gonna have to start eating only lettuce so look good next to you skinny bitches...
Tipsy Tart: bwahahaha ok now i'm gonna go eat cake and practice my mermaid moves on the floor
Ditsy: lol! shit now i gotto go to the loo
Vlam: lol take pictures...
Ditsy is blushing like mad hey
Vlam: not the loo, the mermaid practising
Tipsy Tart: haha Ditsy
ok - there must be something in the air - now i need to crap lol
Vlam: lol def in the air..
Ditsy: so have we all had our daily poop then?
Betty Boob: i'm back and i'm stuffed, prolly gonna have another pooh later
Ditsy: NO MAN, just as i took a bite out of my toast
Betty Boob: bwah hope you don't have peanut butter or something thick on it
Vlam: FFS sis
Tipsy Tart: thats nasty
u really need to get ur face fucked Betty Boob
Betty Boob: what? your grammar is shocking I don't understand what you're trying to say
Vlam: bwahahaha
Ditsy: lol – sarcasm
Tipsy Tart: shame its understandable seeing as u have the elitricy of a 5yr old
Betty Boob: literacy? is that what you are trying to say? sorry i'm too clever
i don't get what you're saying
Ditsy: bwahaha!! dingbat
Tipsy Tart: theres absolutely nothing wrong with my grammar - im shocked
Betty Boob: bwah, ok if you say so
Tipsy Tart: Vlam talks in past tense
Betty Boob: did you finish school?
Tipsy Tart: you guys are irritating
Ditsy: we KNOW babe, we KNOW that's why you LOVE us you want to KISS us
Tipsy Tart: ag fuck off man
Betty Boob: you thrive on all the attention we give you
Ditsy: where to?
Betty Boob: bwah
Tipsy Tart: wait - 'u want to looooooooove me, you want maaaaaaaaaaary me' haha i love that song
I dont mind insults - but u guys are ATTACKING me today
Betty Boob: did you take a photo of your crap by the way
Tipsy Tart: oh my fuck TMI but i couldve - fucking floater i flushed 3 times and the bathroom is next to my colleagues office so he has no doubt what i was up to haha
Betty Boob: bwahahaha how blind!
Ditsy: you girls are DISTURBED i tell ya, you corrupting my Koek mind!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Breaking up is always hard to do
Jaggi says: (wave)Morning!!! Hope you all had a stunning weekend???
Vlam - did you get your DSTV??? WE DID!
Faulty says: i got a little bit drunk on sat
Jaggi says: :Faulty!! You got drunk??? NEVER!!!
Faulty says: but i didnt end up in the jacuzzi which is a good sign lol
Kamasutra says: morning girls
Jaggi says: (wave)morning!!!
Bettyboob says: hello lovely ladies :)
Tipsy Tart: ZZzzzzzzzzzzz
Bettyboob says: eish - did you have a good one TT?
Faulty says: my dinner on friday was FAB by the way
Bettyboob says: really?
Bettyboob says: i'm impressed hey!
Faulty says: yep i even ate it+ lol
Bettyboob says: was the steak not a bit tough? hey did you get my pic i sent you yesterday?
Faulty says: nope it melted in my mouth
Jaggi says: (rofl)OMG I am slow
Bettyboob says: or did i send it to the wrong person? Bwahahahahahaha hello Jaggi
Faulty says: no i got it lol but my phone went flat couldnt reply -looks fucking sore
Bettyboob says: oh ok, just as long as it went to the right person ha ha ha
Jaggi says: So BB...wheres my photie of the tit in discussion?
Faulty says: aggg shame Socks and Ben broke up last night
Bettyboob says: bwahahaha WHY Faulty???
Faulty says: im not sure she hasnt spoken about it
Bettyboob says: ok
Faulty says: she just came through in tears and said they broken up. i didnt know what to do hey, i htough i would give her icecream cause in the movies that makes everything better but being the good cousin i am i gave her a stong pain tab and wine
Jaggi says: Shame Faulty! How long were they together?? And is it a definate break up or those who break up and make up as the tides change?
Faulty says: but i not gonna wake her up i think she is hung over, she had herself 2ltrs of wine bwahhaaa, im such a good cousin really
Bettyboob says: OMG ha ha ha ha ha she gonna feel terrible!
Jaggi says: Nothing cures pain quite like wine..til the next morning!
Faulty says: yep but it will distract her from the break up for a while
Jaggi says: Shame she needs cream soda, panado's and naar pille
Faulty says: i know they had a HUGE fight on friday and she ended up going to ballito with her friend to get away and then when she came home on sat i could see she was upset but i was too pissed to care then last night they were here and they were very quiet in the lounge so i got the drift they needed to talk so i came and harrased b and robin on skype and then thats when she came through
Bettyboob says: oh shame man :(
Faulty says: im sure she will tell us all the story, but for her to dissapear to ballito spur of the moment must have been something bad
Bettyboob says: oi, i wonder what's up
Tipsy Tart: i wonder whether sum1 didnt cheat, maybe her or him?
Faulty says: no i dont think so-- i think its more to do with his drinking maybe-- and he very possesive over her but you never know hey
Tipsy Tart says: whats the FB link for? I dont think mines opened on the right place
Faulty says: i was drunk and thought i was a motorbike person, argg i really embarresed myself myself and candi polished off 5ltrs of wine each
Jaggi says: :OEEK!!! (puke)
Faulty says: i felt very sorry for myself yesterday
Jaggi says: Jy wil mos!!! My liver will jump right out of my stomach if i try that shit again (chuckle)
Faulty says: to be honest i think i am still trying to recover but its ok keiths client loves me bwahhaaaa
Kamasutra says: TT how was the meet on Saturday?
Jaggi says: (rofl)Did you take photo's?
Tipsy Tart says: lizelle took pics with her fancy camera so i didnt wanna whip out my 1940's canon lol
Jaggi says: oh! Wahahaha I hate those Larny's, but i take better photo's anyway (NOT!) but i will keep telling myself that
Tipsy Tart says: Lwas his usual naughty self so dont believe any of the stories u hear about him being cute or whatever
Kamasutra says: did you hold C?
Tipsy Tart says: no i was too scared, but i did have to watcher her and then i forgot! I actually walked away and left her on the table bwah - then lizelle called me and said, arent u watching camryn haha, but dont tell Ditsy
Vlam says: my fucking brother just irritated the shit out of me.... he is naggingly irritating... totally fucked up my day...... breath in.. breah out...
Tipsy Tart says: Ditsy looked so pretty, i actually at one point felt like smacking her, she has no right to look so good after giving birth - BITCH
Kamasutra: lol HB Beth is gorgeous
Vlam: where are these photo's??
Bettyboob says: i also wanna see photos
Faulty says: right kid one down for nap, kid two is at school
Bettyboob says: ha ha peace and quiet~
Faulty says: sheesh Boss lady is sleeping in late today hey and i see S too, or they just hiding from me. i sang to them last night
Bettyboob says: bwahahahaha OMG Faulty
Faulty says: no i didnt only joking, but i did bug them horrible
u all nearly got a phone call on Saturday but keith hid my phone
he told me u were all sleeping
Bettyboob says: bwahaha OMG shame man, how could he lie to you like that?
Faulty says: i know even A (the client) kept saying shame man and then he was gonna let me use his phone
Bettyboob says: eish Faulty, you must write our numbers down somewhere so if he pulls that stunt again, you can still phone us lol
is B pregnat aggain?
Faulty says: no she not preg but she just admitted she hopes to fall preg soon
Kamasutra says: I personally think she must take a break for a while and if she gets pregnant again she must keep it quite for a while
Bettyboob says: did you see what happened to B again this weekend? that child has alot of accidents :(
Kamasutra says: yip and it seems whenever the dad's around hey
Bettyboob says: yes, it's odd
Kamasutra says: I know yes, not that I mean anything by it, men are just not as protected as woman are
Bettyboob says: no same here, just wondering out loud lol
i just watched a video clip of a anaconda putting a child
Kamasutra says: like this weekend,R thinks its very funny that our jack russel wants to bite D's tottie
Bettyboob says: oops
Kamasutra says: and I don't what if he bites it off
Bettyboob says: WTF monna that's just wrong lol, reminds me of Hunnibunni's dog
Kamasutrasays: exactly, HB’s got weird pets lol - no offence
Bettyboob says: she does
Kamasutra says: Jaggi do you know **********? he just walked into our office,one very drunk night I smooched him and it was so imbaressing now lol he's looking for honeymoon packages but couldn't look him in the eye so gave him to another consultant
Jaggi says: :Ddont think i know him Kamasutra...
Kamasutra says: george is way too small
Tipsy Tart says: who abuses their child? oh and i just told B mom i think she should take a break, i mean HONESTLY is she fucking STUPID
Jaggi: YES!!! I agree completely!! Whats the rush anyway?? She should chill for a few months
Tipsy Tart says: well that confirms that she is even more stupid
Faulty says: Socks is gonna come into the chat k, she didnt cheat on him - i asked her straight out
Tipsy Tart says: bwha good to know, i was worried hey lol
Socks says: hiiiiiiii
Faulty says: Kamasutra this is my cousin Socks she is my slave - say hi slave
Socks says: ha ha that sounds kinky
Kamasutra says: hallo Socks aka slave
Socks says: ha ha hi Kamasutra
Jaggi says: I am waiting for the whips and chains to be hauled out slave!!! (chuckle) hiya Socks!
Later that same fateful day............................
Tipsy Tart says: wheres Socks gone Faulty?
Socks says: im here:)
Tipsy Tart says: ok Socks what happened over the weekend? i will give u advice coz ive been cheated on and dumped MANY times and i can help with plotting revenge etc
Socks says: oooh um no i dont need advice, we just broke up -i had wine last night :) so im ok lol
Tipsy Tart says: best thing to do is to vry with his new gf
Tartlet says: you would do that HB
Tipsy Tart says: ok but jokes aside shannon - if you wanna talk u can talk to us, well to me, the rest are nerds - im cool..........ive been around ;)
Tartlet says: and around and around.......
Faulty says: hey i am cool, i gave her booze and pain tabs
Tipsy Tart says: but i dont like your socks
Tartlet: truth hurts hey
Faulty says: shew lucky i am a good girl
Tartlet says: whatttttttttttttttttttttttt
Socks says: ppfffttt