Drink yourself a personality

Ditsy says: hello

Jaggie says: (wave)sorry...looks like you are all alone out here

Ditsy says: seems so hey its bad enough that i talk to myself hey

Jaggie says: Talking to yourself is fine...its when u start boring yourself that it gets a bit much

Ditsy says: YOU TELLING ME!! i'm at that point today babe its frightening

Jaggie says: (rofl)gees and you cant even have a drink or 2 to give yourself more personality!

Ditsy says: bwaha, lucky for me, i already got loads of that hey

Jaggie says: not when you bore yourself when u talk to yourself i meant...

Tipsy Tart says: *digging in nose* huh?

Ditsy says: *waddles off to get a cookie*

Vlam: hey Debs, u freaking fast hey.... don't even give me a chance to finish.... lol

Ditsy says: she quick hey think she's bored? or just one of them super women ppl

Vlam says: ja dammit speedy gonzales se gat lol

Jaggie says: yes she is....says she to herself (whats the point of being a gemini if u cant be a
schitzo) some times u r a gem...and sometimes a naai

Boobies and Milk

Ditsy: i got nice boobies wanna see

Faulty: yea

Jaggi: oh yes!!!

Faulty: i gott droopy boobs

Ditsy says: i got pregnancy boobies now

Faulty: can use them as an ad for boob jobs or somthing

Ditsy: BEEG ones

Jaggi: mine too! they look at my toes

Ditsy: hahahaha

Jaggi: My boobs stayed the same

Ditsy: rolling on the floor : mine got HUGE with Chey

Jaggi: GET UP YOUNG LADY! You must knock your bump -: DH must've loved that!

Ditsy: ooo he did o Gooness that reminds me

Faulty: im greatfull that mine are long though -K tries to touch them and he touches my chest and he normally too tiered to look for them

Ditsy: the one morning, while i was BF R decides he wants nookie so we at it and next thing i know, i got streams of milk pouring out

Faulty: i shot keith with my milk

Jaggi: I was a bad cow :( so DHgot his boobies back very soon

Faulty: i used to come out the shower and it was sparyain out with full force so i make shotgun sounds and shot him with milk

Jaggi: :Oyoh lucky u!!!

Ditsy: lol Debs, i had so much milk

To drink or not to drink.... that is the question

Jaggie says: And you guys STILL going to stick to your guns? No drinking?
EEEEEEEEEK!

Tipsy Tartsays: i dont know, i will c
DH says i can but i dont think its fair lol

Jaggie says: Well good on you both!!!! I will have to get pregnant before I can (wasntme)

Boss Lady says: drink like us - in moderation as soon as u feel tipsy switch to water

Tipsy Tartsays: what? never? haha
yeah i drink in moderation and every now and again i let my hiar down esp on girls nights

Jaggie says: oh no...by that time my brain switches off...and wont think of drinking water

Tipsy Tart says: DH on the other hand ALWAYS gets drunk so he has decided its easier to stop then to pace himself
i wouldnt drink water either, kind of doesnt make sense to drink then in the first place lol

Jaggie says: I suppose everything in moderation!

Tipsy Tart says: than not then

Boss Lady says: I just don;t like being completly drunk out of my mind and feeling like shit the next day

Tipsy Tart says: me either Boss lady

Jaggie says: (puke) i agree!!! Esp with a kid...

Boss Lady says: and we drink vodka most of the time so the people think we r still drinking and nobody feeds us more drinks lol

Tipsy Tart says: i also drink vodka

Jaggie says: Wine makes me shitfaced...so now I stick to whisky and water (esp after fri night!)

Boss Lady says: lol or we just have coke

Jaggie says: Clever ;)

Tipsy Tartsays: ditto Jaggie, im off the wine, makes me fucked outta my mind
i enjoy getting to that level where everything is fun, but u still look ok and know whats wrong and right lol

Jaggie says: YES EXACTLY!!! I now know to stop and go to bed when i start karoaking to guns n roses! Then I know i am past my sell by date

Boss Lady says: wahahaha

Tipsy Tart says: lol nah thats when the fun starts, when i try and pole dance then i know im a goner

Jaggie says: (rofl)

Faulty says: i have to admit

Tipsy Tart says: or when i start ordering drinks for the strangers standing next to me at the bar

Faulty says: i dont know when to stop

Jaggie says: wahahaha what a waste!!

Tipsy Tart says: we not saying we stop, we just saying this is what happens lol

Jaggie says: Lol Faulty!!!

Faulty says: lol i stop when i passed out with my croakmaster

Tipsy Tart says: hahahahaha

Jaggie says: wahahaha! (d)

"Mommy's gone wild" come in all shapes and sizes

Tipsy Tart says: hey Boss lady - u feeling better?u need to eat more man, u freaking skinny, it should be illegal to be so skinny, u make us all look fat

Vlam says: lol

Faulty says: im like a heffalump against Boss lady

Jaggie says: Well said Hunnibunni!

Bettyboob says: bwahaha

Jaggie says: (rofl)i am like a heffalump ANYWAY

Faulty says: (rofl)

Tipsy Tart says: i look like a giraffe, thin neck and big bum lo

Bettyboob says: bwahaha

Jaggie says: Atleast I am in shape....round IS A SHAPE (rofl)

Bettyboob says: bwahaha so true i like your positive outlook on life

Faulty says: ha ha ha Jaggi, thas funny
im also round

Jaggie says: well i know my 6pack is here...its just hiding beneath my PAPSAK!

Faulty says: BWAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jaggie says: whatever Faulty!!!

Faulty says: but its true -although i think i am more oval

"Mommy's gone wild" come in all shapes and sizes

Hunnibunni says: hey Boss lady - u feeling better?
u need to eat more man, u freaking skinny, it should be illegal to be so skinny, u make us all look fat

Vlam says: lol

Faulty says: im like a heffalump against Boss lady

Jaggie says: Well said Hunnibunni!

Bettyboob says: bwahaha

Jaggie says: (rofl)i am like a heffalump ANYWAY

Faulty says: (rofl)

Hunnibunni says: i look like a giraffe, thin neck and big bum lol

Bettyboob says: bwahaha

Jaggie says: Atleast I am in shape....round IS A SHAPE (rofl)

Bettyboob says: bwahaha so true
i like your positive outlook on life

Faulty says: ha ha ha Jaggi, thas funny
im also round

Jaggie says: well i know my 6pack is here...its just hiding beneath my PAPSAK!

Faulty says: BWAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jaggie says: whatever Faulty!!!

Faulty says: but its true -although i think i am more oval

And somtimes I hear voices...

Faulty says: i always hear voices

Bettyboob says: bwahaha

Faulty says: they always telling me to have a smoke

Bettyboob says: but that's coz of all the drugs

Faulty says: and coffee

Faulty says: PMSL

Jaggie says: lol Faulty...the voices in your head are trying to ESCAPE from you!

Tipsy Tart says: i also hear voices, but they arent devine, theyre neurotic

Bettyboob says: ha ha

Faulty says: that could be it too

Adoption

Jaggie says: I am putting myself up for adoption!!! Anyone interested?

Bettyboob says: bwah why?

Kamasutra says: haha

Jaggie says: My mom came over on friday at 3pm for a glass of wine...so we klapped 2 bottles of wine..then got stuck into Jack and it all went downhill from there! So we cant have 2 dronkies in the family...so I need to find a (sober) family

Bettyboob says: bwahahahahahahaha

Kamasutra says: lol

Bettyboob says: ok well i can't take you in

Jaggie says: Damn! Wahahaha Hunnibunni will have to then!

Bettyboob says: ha ha yes well she is the sober one now lol

Skinny jeans

Faulty: i apparently need skinny jeans

Betty Boob: bwah

Faulty: how the hell my ass gonna fit into a pair god only knows

Betty Boob: i would never wear skinny jeans i'm too pear shaped

Boss Lady: I love my skinny jeans I am also pear shaped BB

Betty Boob: ja because you are SKINNY oh rubbish

Boss Lady: u just need to find the right pair

Faulty: well BL you perfect for them skinny jeans and mmmmmmm pear shaped i dont think so im pumpkin shaped

Boss Lady: I am soo pear shaped

Betty Boob: Boss Lady is just trying to make conversation - there is nothing pear shaped about her

Boss Lady: my ass is huge

Betty Boob: WE HAVE SEEN PICS OF YOU REMEMBER blegh

Boss Lady: lmao not nekked ones lmao

Faulty: yea we know what u look like

Betty Boob: ja but if you had a big arse, you wouldn't agree to a photo shoot man

Boss Lady: I hide it well

Betty Boob: you're one of those mothers who is hated and resented by other fat mothers lol

Boss Lady: hahahah

Betty Boob: a yummy mummy is the term

Faulty: or milf

Betty Boob: bwah

The fisherman's tale

Kamasutra: the worst is when R comes home from the fish waters and he wants to hanky panky - he smells like fish even after he showered

Betty Boob: eeuw that's disgusting no thank yoU!

Boss lady: gross

Kamasutra: I make him wash he's hands with lemon that's the only thing that takes the smell away

Betty boob: TG C doesn't like fishingphew

Boss lady: u must let him shower with sunlight liquid

Faulty: crickey u all can talk

Kamasutra: yeah that's an idea

Betty Boob: imagine how that dries your skin

Kamasutra: he always says he's tollie doesn't smell so he doesn't know why i'm turned off
WTF

Toys Toys Toys

Faulty: sigh, more toys...............seriously

Betty Boob: what more toys?

Faulty: yea my kids put toys every where

Betty Boob: ah no man grrrrrrrr

Faulty: i open the cuboard to get a glass out and i find TOYS

what does excercise have to do with it?

Tipsy Tart: I was in bath last nite telling Dh about u girls going for boob jobs etcso he said that if i fall preggers again and go for c-section i can have mini tuck and boob lift!!!!!!!he says i deserve it after 2 kids (blush)

Faulty: ooooooohhhhhhhhhh LUCKY YOU

Tipsy Tart: i know - now i cant wait to fall pergnant lol

Faulty: dont stress bout falling pregit takes longer

Betty boob: tha't fab!!

Tipsy Tart: thanks for the advice Faulty lol
my vjj is tired of all the pomping anyway

Betty boob: good!at least you're doing your homework!

Faulty: when ever i go on diet i fall pregnantso i not going on diet and never excercising

Tipsy Tart: what u call that lube stuff - we have a blue one - and its up already - so now u know...........

Betty boob: KY

Faulty: all the other pregnancies just didnt last

Betty boob: hell so you got a great excuse to NOT diet

Faulty: when i decide to loose weight and get fit - bam pregnant in a monthso no getting thin and no healthy lifestyle NO NO NO

Betty Boob: sounds great to me!

Faulty: maybe in 4 years time i will think about being healthy and thin again

Betty Boob: lol AND pregnant

Faulty: yip bwaaaahhhhhhaaaa i decided that if i want kids to make my family as big as i want i gonna have to have two sets of twins, well if i wait a few years inbetween i gonna be so old

Betty Boob: bwahahahaha

Wayne's World

Betty boob: TT are you real?

Tipsy Tart: am i real?

Betty boob: yes

Tipsy Tart: depends......

Betty boob: ha ha

Tipsy Tart: u ever watch that movie about the guy who made a celebrity out of that computer program, im like her
this is my computer talking boooooooohhhhaaaaaaaaa

Betty boob: omg you a nut

Kamasutra: simone

Tipsy Tart: SIMONE!!!!!! it is I, wayne

Kamasutra: WTF

Tipsy Tart: c its working already

Vlam: i'm lost

Tipsy Tart: i'll come find you, might take a few weeks, but DONT GO ANYWHERE

Betty boob: OMG you are so weird

Tipsy Tart: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG - are u having sex there BB, with all the swearing etc

Betty boob: yes with my hand - why do you ask?

Tipsy Tart: coz I c u

Kamasutra: you should really become a stand up comedian

Betty boob: bwahahaha

Gifts and gadgets

Vlam: next year we all put our names in a hat and we pick each other and buy stuff like this.... stuff we will all like and USE not WASTE.....

Tipsy Tart: ditto

Ditsy: i agree! we can do valentines day and mommy's day and our birthdays AND Christmas

Vlam: hahaha slow down eager beaver.. u just want alot of sex toys...geez women

Ditsy: OF COURSE! imagine the variety we'd have! we'd NEVER complain about our libidos again

Vlam: lol ja.. u'd better stock up on rechargeable batts...

Ditsy: and we'd all be skinny cause of all the humping and orgasms grrrrrrrrr our men will WORSHIP us

Vlam: now well thats a plan....

Ditsy: bwahaha! see - not just a pretty face hey!

Tipsy Tart: why didnt u guys tell me my friend was lookign for me :@

Vlam: oh sorry i thought you know them being your peeps and all...

Ditsy: i did DINGBAT go read up there ai wee jy moet jy ALTYD so dof wees?

Vlam: hahaha again, pot calling kettle black... hahahaha

Tipsy Tart: bwah joh - cant believe i almost missed an invite to suip - shocking

Ditsy: absolutely NO comment whatsoever!

Vlam: seems like u've had enough already

Ditsy: sighs LOUDLY

Tipsy Tart: laughing at u all

Ditsy: moers Tipsy Tart off her chair

Tipsy Tart: another glass of wine

Ditsy: drinking at work! Shocking!

Tipsy Tart: i wish.........

Ditsy: seems i won't have to hit you off that chair, you'll fall off ALL BY YOURSELF

Betty Boob: jis you lot can talk kak, i'm outta here

Ditsy: trained by the best babe

Alcohol + sex = Ditsy

Tipsy Tart: so Boss Lady - u miss me much?

Boss Lady: offcourse I do

Tipsy Tart: I miss u - not sex talk for a while hey

Betty Boob: ooh i got a question!!!

Vlam: tell us we tell u if its good or not...

Betty Boob: well i just wondered - has anyone's husband / boyfriend had a pee IN YOU while you shagging or is that impossible

Ditsy: DISGUSTING!!

Boss Lady: OMG

Tipsy Tart: lol

Vlam: FUCKING DISGUSTING

Boss Lady: PMSL NOOOOOOOO

Betty Boob: yes but is it possible?

Boss Lady: I have never even thought about that

Vlam: don't think its possible and don't wanna try either...

Tipsy Tart: maybe - if it happened we were most likey very drunk hahaha

Betty Boob: ha ha ha ha TT

Vlam: i can't have sex when i'm drunk all i wanna do is either puke or pass out

Betty Boob: well we were about to do the dirty sunday morning, when the man said he really needs to go pee first and then the thought struck me

Tipsy Tart: BB - DH also usually says he needs to pee first otherwise his balls pain afterwards

Ditsy: my life is so boring, all i do is carry aliens

Tipsy Tart: Your Man is trying to keep you pregnant coz APPARENTLY you and alcohol = bad idea

Betty Boob: yeah she pukes all over him

Vlam: PMSL sis Ditsy

Ditsy: yeah well, too much alcohol and the boobs come out and then a bit further and i pass out

Tipsy Tart: NO - she out drinks and out parties him - he cant keep up - oh and he whispered that she embarasses him bwah

Ditsy: and the problem IS?

Betty Boob: exactly

Tipsy Tart: dittoDitsy - im like that sober haha

Betty Boob: i'm lank embarrassing when i'm drunk - it's great

Vlam: i get loud and giggly.... oh and i smoke. (puke)

Tipsy Tart: so am i BB - out of body experience - thats my story and im sticking to it

Boss Lady: I am embarasing and I don;t even need a drink

Tipsy Tart: stick with us - we kak cool

Ditsy: i dont need no alcohol to be fun or embarrassing

Once upon a time my feet stank

Tipsy Tart: my feet stink

Betty Boob: bwah gross!

Tipsy Tart: wearing pomps

Betty Boob: pomps? bwahaha

Ditsy: its when you have sex mel, you pomp except Tipys Tart having the plural

Tipsy Tart: well what u call those ballerina shoes

Betty Boob: PUMPS

Ditsy: oh so its NORMAL to have stinky footsies when you wear those? was wondering hey

Betty Boob: well mine don't stink

Tipsy Tart: ok - putting them back on /me feels dazed and confused / intoxicated

Betty Boob: bwahaha

Tipsy Tart: jirre u know

The day Bettyboob lost 10kg...

Tipsy Tart: hey u bitch - i enjoy the occassional insult BUT I CANT BE RUDE TO U ive got some good insults lined up tho - but it seems too rude to post - i cant do it (blush)

'u are not urself today - i noticed the improvement immediately; bwah
wheres Betty Boob

Betty Boob: fuck off man i went for a crap

Vlam: to much info thnx Betty Boob

Ditsy: lol dont remind me, yesterday i went to the loo

Betty Boob feels 10kg lighter

Ditsy: and the bathrooms are right next to each other so i went in for my wee and someone went in next door

Vlam: did u see another guy's dick again...

Tipsy Tart is inlove with Betty Boob - she is crude and rude

Ditsy: next thing you hear: BOINK sheesh, that mustve been one hell of a crap hey!!

Vlam: PMSL.... he was playing battleships man...

Tipsy Tart: haha

Ditsy: lol

Vlam is now also needing a crap ;)

Betty Boob: hope it's a stinker!

Ditsy: sheesh, if we like this without alchohol, imagine WITH alchohol

Vlam: oh fuck... spare us that

Ditsy: i might show you my breastesses

Betty Boob: bwah ok can't wait!!

Vlam: i'll have to now start giving dh LOADS sex to convince him.. oh ja and start saving...

Betty Boob: don't allow me to swim when i'm drunk i think i'm a dolphin

Tipsy Tart: thats reminds me - i fucking sang to boere music last nite – disgusting

Ditsy: NO!! did you dance too?

Vlam: bwahaha thats how i knew she was pissed....

Tipsy Tart: i LOVE sambuca - i c u guys planning a trip to CT

Vlam: yeah baby

Tipsy Tart: we stay at my house, we closer to the clubs and pubs and we have a pool so when we wanna be mermaids only the perv next door will c hahaha

Vlam: fuck i'm gonna have to start eating only lettuce so look good next to you skinny bitches...

Tipsy Tart: bwahahaha ok now i'm gonna go eat cake and practice my mermaid moves on the floor

Ditsy: lol! shit now i gotto go to the loo

Vlam: lol take pictures...

Ditsy is blushing like mad hey

Vlam: not the loo, the mermaid practising

Tipsy Tart: haha Ditsy
ok - there must be something in the air - now i need to crap lol

Vlam: lol def in the air..

Ditsy: so have we all had our daily poop then?

Betty Boob: i'm back and i'm stuffed, prolly gonna have another pooh later

Ditsy: NO MAN, just as i took a bite out of my toast

Betty Boob: bwah hope you don't have peanut butter or something thick on it

Vlam: FFS sis

Tipsy Tart: thats nasty
u really need to get ur face fucked Betty Boob

Betty Boob: what? your grammar is shocking I don't understand what you're trying to say

Vlam: bwahahaha

Ditsy: lol – sarcasm

Tipsy Tart: shame its understandable seeing as u have the elitricy of a 5yr old

Betty Boob: literacy? is that what you are trying to say? sorry i'm too clever
i don't get what you're saying

Ditsy: bwahaha!! dingbat

Tipsy Tart: theres absolutely nothing wrong with my grammar - im shocked

Betty Boob: bwah, ok if you say so

Tipsy Tart: Vlam talks in past tense

Betty Boob: did you finish school?

Tipsy Tart: you guys are irritating

Ditsy: we KNOW babe, we KNOW that's why you LOVE us you want to KISS us

Tipsy Tart: ag fuck off man

Betty Boob: you thrive on all the attention we give you

Ditsy: where to?

Betty Boob: bwah

Tipsy Tart: wait - 'u want to looooooooove me, you want maaaaaaaaaaary me' haha i love that song
I dont mind insults - but u guys are ATTACKING me today

Betty Boob: did you take a photo of your crap by the way

Tipsy Tart: oh my fuck TMI but i couldve - fucking floater i flushed 3 times and the bathroom is next to my colleagues office so he has no doubt what i was up to haha

Betty Boob: bwahahaha how blind!

Ditsy: you girls are DISTURBED i tell ya, you corrupting my Koek mind!

Breaking up is always hard to do

Vlam says: morning, monday... bleah - how u lot all doing?

Jaggi says: (wave)Morning!!! Hope you all had a stunning weekend???
Vlam - did you get your DSTV??? WE DID!

Faulty says: i got a little bit drunk on sat

Jaggi says: :Faulty!! You got drunk??? NEVER!!!

Faulty says: but i didnt end up in the jacuzzi which is a good sign lol

Kamasutra says: morning girls

Jaggi says: (wave)morning!!!

Bettyboob says: hello lovely ladies :)

Tipsy Tart: ZZzzzzzzzzzzz

Bettyboob says: eish - did you have a good one TT?

Faulty says: my dinner on friday was FAB by the way

Bettyboob says: really?

Bettyboob says: i'm impressed hey!

Faulty says: yep i even ate it+ lol

Bettyboob says: was the steak not a bit tough? hey did you get my pic i sent you yesterday?

Faulty says: nope it melted in my mouth

Jaggi says: (rofl)OMG I am slow

Bettyboob says: or did i send it to the wrong person? Bwahahahahahaha hello Jaggi

Faulty says: no i got it lol but my phone went flat couldnt reply -looks fucking sore

Bettyboob says: oh ok, just as long as it went to the right person ha ha ha

Jaggi says: So BB...wheres my photie of the tit in discussion?

Faulty says: aggg shame Socks and Ben broke up last night

Bettyboob says: bwahahaha WHY Faulty???

Faulty says: im not sure she hasnt spoken about it

Bettyboob says: ok

Faulty says: she just came through in tears and said they broken up. i didnt know what to do hey, i htough i would give her icecream cause in the movies that makes everything better but being the good cousin i am i gave her a stong pain tab and wine

Jaggi says: Shame Faulty! How long were they together?? And is it a definate break up or those who break up and make up as the tides change?

Faulty says: but i not gonna wake her up i think she is hung over, she had herself 2ltrs of wine bwahhaaa, im such a good cousin really

Bettyboob says: OMG ha ha ha ha ha she gonna feel terrible!

Jaggi says: Nothing cures pain quite like wine..til the next morning!

Faulty says: yep but it will distract her from the break up for a while

Jaggi says: Shame she needs cream soda, panado's and naar pille

Faulty says: i know they had a HUGE fight on friday and she ended up going to ballito with her friend to get away and then when she came home on sat i could see she was upset but i was too pissed to care then last night they were here and they were very quiet in the lounge so i got the drift they needed to talk so i came and harrased b and robin on skype and then thats when she came through

Bettyboob says: oh shame man :(

Faulty says: im sure she will tell us all the story, but for her to dissapear to ballito spur of the moment must have been something bad

Bettyboob says: oi, i wonder what's up

Tipsy Tart: i wonder whether sum1 didnt cheat, maybe her or him?

Faulty says: no i dont think so-- i think its more to do with his drinking maybe-- and he very possesive over her but you never know hey

Tipsy Tart says: whats the FB link for? I dont think mines opened on the right place

Faulty says: i was drunk and thought i was a motorbike person, argg i really embarresed myself myself and candi polished off 5ltrs of wine each

Jaggi says: :OEEK!!! (puke)

Faulty says: i felt very sorry for myself yesterday

Jaggi says: Jy wil mos!!! My liver will jump right out of my stomach if i try that shit again (chuckle)

Faulty says: to be honest i think i am still trying to recover but its ok keiths client loves me bwahhaaaa

Kamasutra says: TT how was the meet on Saturday?

Jaggi says: (rofl)Did you take photo's?

Tipsy Tart says: lizelle took pics with her fancy camera so i didnt wanna whip out my 1940's canon lol

Jaggi says: oh! Wahahaha I hate those Larny's, but i take better photo's anyway (NOT!) but i will keep telling myself that

Tipsy Tart says: Lwas his usual naughty self so dont believe any of the stories u hear about him being cute or whatever

Kamasutra says: did you hold C?

Tipsy Tart says: no i was too scared, but i did have to watcher her and then i forgot! I actually walked away and left her on the table bwah - then lizelle called me and said, arent u watching camryn haha, but dont tell Ditsy

Vlam says: my fucking brother just irritated the shit out of me.... he is naggingly irritating... totally fucked up my day...... breath in.. breah out...

Tipsy Tart says: Ditsy looked so pretty, i actually at one point felt like smacking her, she has no right to look so good after giving birth - BITCH

Kamasutra: lol HB Beth is gorgeous

Vlam: where are these photo's??

Bettyboob says: i also wanna see photos

Faulty says: right kid one down for nap, kid two is at school

Bettyboob says: ha ha peace and quiet~

Faulty says: sheesh Boss lady is sleeping in late today hey and i see S too, or they just hiding from me. i sang to them last night

Bettyboob says: bwahahahaha OMG Faulty

Faulty says: no i didnt only joking, but i did bug them horrible
u all nearly got a phone call on Saturday but keith hid my phone
he told me u were all sleeping

Bettyboob says: bwahaha OMG shame man, how could he lie to you like that?

Faulty says: i know even A (the client) kept saying shame man and then he was gonna let me use his phone

Bettyboob says: eish Faulty, you must write our numbers down somewhere so if he pulls that stunt again, you can still phone us lol
is B pregnat aggain?

Faulty says: no she not preg but she just admitted she hopes to fall preg soon

Kamasutra says: I personally think she must take a break for a while and if she gets pregnant again she must keep it quite for a while

Bettyboob says: did you see what happened to B again this weekend? that child has alot of accidents :(

Kamasutra says: yip and it seems whenever the dad's around hey

Bettyboob says: yes, it's odd

Kamasutra says: I know yes, not that I mean anything by it, men are just not as protected as woman are

Bettyboob says: no same here, just wondering out loud lol
i just watched a video clip of a anaconda putting a child

Kamasutra says: like this weekend,R thinks its very funny that our jack russel wants to bite D's tottie

Bettyboob says: oops

Kamasutra says: and I don't what if he bites it off

Bettyboob says: WTF monna that's just wrong lol, reminds me of Hunnibunni's dog

Kamasutrasays: exactly, HB’s got weird pets lol - no offence

Bettyboob says: she does

Kamasutra says: Jaggi do you know **********? he just walked into our office,one very drunk night I smooched him and it was so imbaressing now lol he's looking for honeymoon packages but couldn't look him in the eye so gave him to another consultant

Jaggi says: :Ddont think i know him Kamasutra...

Kamasutra says: george is way too small

Tipsy Tart says: who abuses their child? oh and i just told B mom i think she should take a break, i mean HONESTLY is she fucking STUPID

Jaggi: YES!!! I agree completely!! Whats the rush anyway?? She should chill for a few months

Tipsy Tart says: well that confirms that she is even more stupid

Faulty says: Socks is gonna come into the chat k, she didnt cheat on him - i asked her straight out

Tipsy Tart says: bwha good to know, i was worried hey lol

Socks says: hiiiiiiii

Faulty says: Kamasutra this is my cousin Socks she is my slave - say hi slave

Socks says: ha ha that sounds kinky

Kamasutra says: hallo Socks aka slave

Socks says: ha ha hi Kamasutra

Jaggi says: I am waiting for the whips and chains to be hauled out slave!!! (chuckle) hiya Socks!
Later that same fateful day............................

Tipsy Tart says: wheres Socks gone Faulty?

Socks says: im here:)

Tipsy Tart says: ok Socks what happened over the weekend? i will give u advice coz ive been cheated on and dumped MANY times and i can help with plotting revenge etc

Socks says: oooh um no i dont need advice, we just broke up -i had wine last night :) so im ok lol

Tipsy Tart says: best thing to do is to vry with his new gf

Tartlet says: you would do that HB

Tipsy Tart says: ok but jokes aside shannon - if you wanna talk u can talk to us, well to me, the rest are nerds - im cool..........ive been around ;)

Tartlet says: and around and around.......

Faulty says: hey i am cool, i gave her booze and pain tabs

Tipsy Tart says: but i dont like your socks

Tartlet: truth hurts hey

Faulty says: shew lucky i am a good girl

Tartlet says: whatttttttttttttttttttttttt

Socks says: ppfffttt

And then there were accidents

Kamasutra says: didnt' anyone of you ever fall on your bike

Bettyboob says: yes i rode into a gutter and had a purple vagina, it was so sore

Tipsy Tart says: i fell off my bike and the spokes enter into my ankle, that was nasty - i still have the mark

Faulty says: no i didnt fall of my bike

Tipsy Tart says: did i tell you the story where i tried to iron the wrinkle on my leg

Boss lady says: OUCH HB

Bettyboob says: what???

Kamasutra says: no please tell

Socks says: ha ha ha Tipsy Tart

Tipsy Tartsays: i also once fell off my bike and broke my arm

Kamasutra says: I have never broken anything except my toes in the shower

Tipsy Tart says: im just really retarded at the best of times - my cousin said you could use a iron to iron out wrinkles on your skin too and thats what i did - i had the mark on my leg for years, it eventually faded

Faulty says: oh wait i broke my middle finger when my brother crashed into me

Socks says: TT how old were you

Bettyboob says: i also broke fingers

Tipsy Tart says: i lost a piece of my pointing finger when i crahsed into the wall with a wheel barrel i was hectic tomboy lol

Socks says: ha ha ha ha ha ha legend!!

Kamasutra says: and you ask why L is so busy body

Tipsy Tart says: im surprised no-one called child services, i was lawys injured. well L aint half as bad as me, he is a bit of a moffie, he doesnt like to get his hair or face wet when he swims

Menopause and hairy nipples

Bettyboob says: hello slave and HB you are going through early menopause you should take hormone replacement therapy pills then you won't get hair on your nipples and face

Faulty says: lol Bettyboob how do u know that

Bettyboob says: coz i am a google doctor, that's how

Kamasutra says: talking about hair on nipples

Bettyboob says: i think you should do doggy and wear green socks

Kamasutra says: do any of you have that?

Faulty says: yes i do but my hormones ae fucked

Bettyboob says: do you also have hair on your nipples, how do you get rid of it?

Kamasutra says: I do I pull it out with a tweazer

Bettyboob says: eina!!!!!

Kamasutra says: but they get long hey so you say its my hormones BB?

Faulty says: well i am on the pill now so it making my hormones all go ok

Kamasutra says: it is flucking eina

Bettyboob says: yes Kamasutra you are half man, bwah i'm kidding lol

Kamasutra says: fluck off

Bettyboob says: maybe it's a hormonal imbalance, yes that's it

Faulty says: i shave i am sorry i can barely pluck my eyebrows how am i gonna pluck my boobs

Kamasutra says: I've had it since I was a teen, but I'm very hairy everywhere

Bettyboobsays: you shave your boobs???

Kamasutra says: no I plug it

Bettyboob says: i'm also quite hairy but not on my nipples

Socks says: aaaaaaah

Faulty says: no man just the hairs i dont sit like i do with my
legs. Socks are u hairy on ur nipples

Socks says: theres a few little ones

Tipsy Tart says: OMG I have sweat marks under my arms (blush)

Kamasutra says: and I've got hair on my toes

Bettyboob says: i also have hair on my big toe i shave that

Socks says: ya my toes are hairy

Kamasutra says: I also shave that but then it becomes darker

Bettyboob says: like BLACK hair? or bum fluff? on your nipples i mean

Kamasutra says: Black hair, like moemfie hair

Bettyboob says: pubes

Faulty says: wtf is moemfie ha

Kamasutra says: vagina

Bettyboob says: you should have it permanently removed

Kamasutra says: with lazer? no fluck that will be sore hey

Bettyboob says: where is TT? no man i'm sure it wont be, it's so expensive though, i wanted to do my legs but can't afford it lol

Kamasutra says: I was always scared D would get a hair in he's mouth when I was breastfeeding

Socks says: hahahahaha

Faulty says: maybe i should try putting emla on my boobs and pluck then

Bettyboob says: that's quite funny

Kamasutra says: what's emla?

Bettyboob: for pain?

Faulty says: yea for pain - its a local anestetic

Bettyboob says: so how often do you pluck your boobs

Kamasutra says: once a week otherwise the hair gets too long

Socks says: ouchies.. that must be sore

Bettyboob says: oh ok shoo that's often hey

Kamasutra says: not really I do it in the shower

Faulty says: no i dont pluck mine weekly but then again since on the pill i am cool, wait let me look..... no they cool

Kamasutra says: R pulls mine out sometimes, he tries pulling them with he's mouth but it doesn't work

Bettyboob says: ok that's like using the chicken instead of the feather
HOW did we even get on this topic?

Kamasutra says: no idea : do any of you shave your butt hair?

Bettyboob says: WHAT fucking butt hair? i'm hair deprived

Kamasutra says: I want to shave or wax r's hair

Tipsy Tart says: stop fucking talking

Faulty says: TT we talking bout hair on boobs

Boss lady says: I am tryi ng to wake up here

Bettyboob says: B you haven't confessed

Boss lady says: what confessed

Bettyboob says: do you have hairy nipples coz it seems just about everyone here does

Boss lady says: no

Bettyboob says: oh thank goodness let's laugh at them

Boss lady says: nope no hairy nipples but I am blond remember that, don;t have much body hair

Kamasutra says: what's your natural hair colour BB?

Bettyboob says: mousy brown

Kamasutra says: mine too

Bettyboob says: i used to be blonde when i was little

Tipsy Tart says: oh fuck i have but hair that i shave and I found a rogue hair on my big toe

Bettyboob says: i have about 5 hairs on my bigtoe and they grow really long .TT do you have nipple hair?

Tipsy Tart says: hell no - but my keok hair is spreading sideways its cary

Kamasutra says: where's Vlam wonder if she's got nipple hair

Bettyboob says: do you shave? coz you musn't

Tipsy Tart says: i have to shave before i put bikini on

Bettyboob says: no man, the more you shave, the more hair you get

Kamasutra says: why not shave moemfie hair

Bettyboob says: you gotta wax otherwise you get more - it spreads

Kamasutra says: no but I don't give it time to grow out, I shave once a week

Faulty says: i aint waxing my boob u got to be mad

Bettyboob says: so have you not got more pubes now than what you did 5 years ago? i'm not saying wax your tit FFS. wax your vagina

Tipsy Tart says: im not showing my vagina to ANYONE - they might get jealous

Kamasutra says: but BB do you wax the sof lips too?

Bettyboob says: yes why not? when they wax it, the hold it so it doesn't pull, does that make sense?

Tipsy Tart says: if i may say so ive got a goodlooking vagina- who wants to see a pic :)

Faulty says: its been a long time since i could bend over far enought to check my tummy get in the way now

later.....

Tartlet says: I see u were looking 4 me

Tipsy Tart says: yeah, u disappeared lol

Tartlet says: who wants to shave what

Tipsy Tart says: monna shaves coz she hairy haha

Kamasutra says: fluck of TT -I have nipple hair

Tipsy Tart says: only my vjj area is hairy

Kamasutra says: do you also have nipple hair tartlet

Tartlet says: nooooooooo, toe hairs yes

Tipsy Tart says: told you my vjj hair is spreading like wildfire

Kamasutra says: seems we all have toe hairs

Tartlet says: i shave mytoe hairs

Bettyboob says: me too

Kamasutra says: me too

Faulty says: me too

Tipsy Tart says: wtf grows hair on their toes and tits

Kamasutra says: you also have hair on your toes HB

Tipsy Tart says: i had one ROGUE hair

Tartlet says: not tits thoug, cause I dont have tits

Faulty says: i have long tits sigh

Tipsy Tart says: its called nipple hair, if u lacking that u in deeo trouble

Kamasutra says: shame yes that's maybe why I have hair there

Tartlet says: Faulty at least you have tits

The theory of GREEN SOCKS

Tipsy Tart says: hello, fuck me Im going through menopause

Socks says: lol dam

Tipys Tart says: Im getting far too hot man or am I hot?

Faulty says: mmmmmmmm, u are hot TT

Kamasutra says: your hot HB, Its also hot here just put the aircon on

Tipsy Tart says: NO - im getting really hot, like hot flushes

Kamasutra says: pregnant?

Tipsy Tart says: my aircon is broke and hell no

Faulty says: when u supposed to poas

Tipsy Tart: its been only a week since last AF and DH wants to bonk as soon as it goes away, its so annoying

Socks says: dammit i need an abreviation dictionary when i talk to you guys

Faulty says: lol bonk away, so u can get preg, but remember doggie and green socks

Socks says: huh?

Faulty says: she must have sex but doggie style and wear green sock cause the socks will hep he fall preg

Socks says: lol wtf?!!!!

Faulty says: im telling u

Kamasutra says: my words exactly Socks WTF never heard of the green socks before

Faulty says: she gonna wear them socks and she gonna be preg in no time, Kamasutra u too

Socks says: oooh kamasutra im not the only normal one around here

Faulty says: the green socks help with fertiility

Socks says: im never wearing green socks EVER

Kamasutra says: did you wear green socks Faulty

Faulty says: yep and i got drunk

Kamasutra says: yeah the drunk part works for me too

Faulty says: but i think i wont drink again

Faulty eats........

Faulty says: sheesh, slave (wave)

Socks says: k im hungry

Faulty says: no i was thinking more along the lines of umm (coffee)

Socks says: ya i know but im also hungry

Faulty says: he he he have bovril and egg on bread with some steers spice
Socks says: aaaah sies

Faulty says: no man its nice

Socks says: no

Faulty says: shew she is well trained im getting coffee

Table manners and Wooden Spoons - It's all relative

Faulty says: wish me luck, my child is eating cocopops i could be cleaning cocopops for the next year

Tartlet says: bwahahahaha, luck

Bettyboob says: OMG you are brave Faulty!!!! talking about eating habits... N has the most DISGUSTING table manners HOW am i gonna get him to stop???

Tartlet says: lol why, what does he do

Betty Boob says: he flings food at everyone at the table, he'll chew on something, then spit it out in his hand, then throw it at us etc, it's disgusting and embarrassing

Tartlet says: you just gonna have to be firm with him babe, not easy I know say no and if necessary smack him on his hand
S used to do that but I got it out of him that way, he still takes chances now and then

Bettyboob says: oh pfft my child is the most headstrong creation earth has ever come across. we've tried that, smacking his hand (which i found out is extremely bad coz then all the blood shoots to their fingers), shouting at him, taking his food away, etc - nothing helps

Tartlet says: you dont smack him hard hun lol, give him time then he is basically still a babe good luck hun lol

Bettyboob says: oi well great lot of help you are :^)

Tartlet says: bwah sorry man, each child is different hey - i dont know

Faulty says: i go fetch the wooden spoon, when they see that they stop bwahahaaa

Tartlet says: ha ha

Faulty says: im such a mean mom

Bettyboob says: ooh yes that's what i need! a HUGE wooden spoon

Faulty says: i drew a sad face on it

Tartlet says: lol my kids are only scared of their dad and not me

Bettyboob: pfft N not scared of anyone that's why i shall find the biggest wooden spoon ever made and threaten him witht hat

Tartlet says: you buy those HUGE wooden spoons in Pilgirms Rest they actually for decoration lol

Faulty says: lol i hit them once on the bum with it , not hard i litrally tapped, and ever since then i have my wodden spoon in all emergancies

Tartlet says: lol

Faulty says: i forgot it on the holiday and u could tell lol

Jaggi says: lol Bettyboob!!! The hand smacking thing has worked for A...thus far! Except when he KNOWS he is naughty and i have given him 2 warnings and wanna smack his hand he pulls his hand away...and then RUNS (wasntme)

The Start of Mommy’s Gone Wild

Tipsy Tart says: told Faulty i cud never have my own blog

Bettyboob says: ha ha

Tipsy Tart says: coz this crap comes out unvoluntarily

Bettyboob says: your blog would be a mess

Tipsy Tart says: c tit agrees

Kamasutra says: we would all be lost there

Tipys Tartsays: now im thinking maybe i should start a blog
u guys can tell me what to talk about and i will go from there
OMG lets start a group blog
how AWESOME WOULD THAT BE

Bettyboob says: sheez that would be insane

Vlam says: now that will be a mess

Faulty says: lol i talk crap man

Tipsy Tart says: then we copy the shit we write here and make articles

Bettyboob says: oh dear

Tipsy Tart says: oh ok - im i the only that likes that idea
mmmmmmmmmm we do a blog together

Bettyboob says: i also wanna man

Faulty says: what we gonna call the blog

Tipsy Tart says: i say we call it waynes world :)

Bettyboob says: sounds fabulous DIVINE

Kamasutra says: lol

Tipsy Tart says: booooooooooohaaaaaaaaaaa

Vlam says: lol devine...

Faulty says: well what do we call the blog i will set it up tonight

Bettyboob says: mmmmmmmm i'm not sure

Tipsy Tart says: WAYNES WORLD
OMG im getting upset
the blog belongs to me WAS MY IDEA

Kamasutra says: no man that's a stupid name TT

Hunnibunni says: argggggg

Kamasutra says: lol

Bettyboob says: OMG you suppose to SHARE hag

Tipsy Tart: OMG u guys wanna steal my idea this is horrble

Bettyboob says: ha ha

Tipsy Tart says: im having a breakdown over here
ok here's my iea
Faulty listen closely

Bettyboob says: anyone else got an idea?

Tipsy Tart says: haha

Bettyboob says: ok i listerning

Tipsy Tart says: but shutup now

Kamasutra says: fantastic 4 lol

Bettyboob says: how many are we though?

Kamasutra says: sorry 3

Bettyboob says: LOL
FANTASTIC 4 AND THE OTHERS

Kamasutra says: lol

Faulty says: 7 of us

Tipsy Tart says: we start a group blog ok and then we chat in skype and at end of week we go through all the funny stuff we spoke and put it in blog with a heading?

i vote I be fantastic and you be the others

Kamasutra says: ok

Bettyboob says: ha ha ha ha ha fuck me

Vlam says: lol its gonna be a bunch of crap... what fun i'm in!

Tipsy Tart says: i mean look at yest, i spoke alot of crap
i think with this weeks chat we already have anough amo for about 5 blogs haha

Kamasutra says: I'm joining you Bettyboob

Tipsy Tart says: OK better idea
listen to this

Vlam says: listening

Tipsy Tart says: we each choose our favourite convo that we had and then we put that up?

Faulty says: the frikken name ppl need the frikken name of the blog

Tipsy Tart says: 'THE MOMMY CLUB'

Bettyboob says: MOMMY WARRIORS

Vlam says: no.. the mommy clique