Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Vet Koek


TIPSY TART: i have ONE question
BETTY BOOB: yes
TIPSY TART: and its what u ppl class as inappropriate
BETTY BOOB: ok lol
BETTY BOOB: something to do with your COOK
BETTY BOOB: lol
TIPSY TART: does your vagina get bigger coz i swear its like 4 times bigger
BETTY BOOB: (rofl)
TIPSY TART: bwah yes Betty Boob lol
BETTY BOOB: bwahahaha i knew it lol
Faulty: pmsl
BETTY BOOB: well it does "swell" up a bit mos, coz of all the extra blood flow
TIPSY TART: and the foxie bonnet part has a fat roll
BETTY BOOB: bwahahaahahaha
TIPSY TART: oh ok makes sense
BETTY BOOB: bt shoo, i don't recall mine getting fat early in pregnancy, just at the end it was swollen
Faulty: omg u ppl are really strange
TIPSY TART: no its HUGE
Faulty: tt mine is fat
BETTY BOOB: mmmmmmmm
TIPSY TART: yes like fat and bigger
Faulty: no stress, its just cause its not the first kid
BETTY BOOB: so jy het nou a VET KOEK pmsl
Faulty: pmsl
TIPSY TART: now i wonder, ppl that give normal birth - what do their cooks look like fuckit
Betty Boob: TT did your boobs go big with your first pregnancy?
TIPSY TART: um yes Betty Boob
TIPSY TART: u saw that one pic on FB
Faulty: so tt weigh ur boobs tonight k
BETTY BOOB: like a huge bladdy fat vrot guava
TIPSY TART: i squeezed the one and see through stuff came out hahaha
TIPSY TART: i can do magic with my boobs
BETTY BOOB: wahahahaha
TIPSY TART: water bottles

TIPSY TART: dont u ever squeeze ur boobs?
Betty Boob: NO
TIPSY TART: wahahaha why not
BETTY BOOB: well, why would i want to?
makes no sense lol

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

What kind of NUT will you be?


Faulty says: i wanna be a peacanut cause the name sounds cute and i am cute
Betty boob says: wahahahaha
Boss lady says: I will be a walnut
Betty boob says: wahahaha
Faulty says: Betty boob darling
Betty boob says: i'll be a cashew
Ditsy says: I'll just be the peanut

Pregancy symptoms lesson 1 -farting


Faulty says: i need food im hungry tt u picked up weight yet my tummy is wobbly
Tipsy Tart says: YES,but its all the gas,my stomache is swolen i have ALOT of gas
Faulty says: bet u farting alot
Tipsy Tart says: and i have those luv handles again i farted DH warm in bed last nite lol he was cross
Faulty says: i feel like my tummy is hanging over my jeans, DH jumps up in fright every time i fart

The mafia and other drunken escapades

BETTY BOOB says: did i tell you about falling when we were in Knysna now recently at the oyster fest? fuck it was funny
Tart says: no pls do tell
BETTY BOOB says: we were partying with the guys from parlotones at that skanky jol in knysna. so they have these ottoman things in their private bar upstairs. well i fell over ones of those, and spilt my RUM and coke (why the fuck i was drinking that is a mystery) all over DH and Khan (the lead singer) and then they had to help me up coz i was laughing so much i was so embarrassed the next day OMG
Tipsy Tart says: OMG hahaha
Faulty says: pmsl
Tipsy Tart says: I couldnt stop laughing coz I can totally see u doing that lol
BETTY BOOB says: it was kak funny
Tipsy Tart says: well I had a friend who pukes on brayton (SP) paulse shoes once
BETTY BOOB says: OMG wahahahahaha
BETTY BOOB says: oh and Graham Smith was upstairs with us too, he's such a loser
NO personality
Tipsy Tart says: HE doesnt look like he has one
BETTY BOOB says: he's really droog hey and the chicks were all over him GROSS
he has a huge shnozz
Tipsy Tart says: So is that Breyton guy he thinks he is the shit
BETTY BOOB says: they think they so hot OMG it's pathetic
Tipsy Tart says: I could actually see the crowd directly over his head
short shit
BETTY BOOB says: that's so funny
Tipsy Tart says: he barely made it over the bar counter
BETTY BOOB says: (rofl) wahahahaha that's kak funny
Tipsy Tart says: I personally enjoy completley disregarding celebrities to piss em off
altho once I nearly got into trouble with the mafia lol but thats another story for another drink lol
Ditsy says: what tt?
BETTY BOOB says: tell me the mafia story!
Tipsy Tart says: did i ever tell u about the time when I lost my friend good times
BETTY BOOB says: no TT tell us
Tipsy Tart says: well the mafia one is quite cool coz when Im drunk i get rude
we booked VIP and cudeta and we had champagne and snacks etc with a red rope so other ppl cant come in, so im drinking and being merry and this dudes with suites on just kind of walk in and make themselves comfy and im like looking at them like this :^)
BETTY BOOB says: you sound so bad ass, i can picture it
Tipsy Tart says: and then i get an attitude and im like: wtf - Ive paid for this place, this is a private party blah blah blah and u can just imagine it, real classy hanging slightly to the left (the side thats holding the glass ofcourse) and the one dude gets up and walks out and comes back in and sits
and Im screaming: I cant fucking believe this: are u fucking deaf and dumb? so the manager calls me and asks me to pls not cause a scene but they are mafia and they cant do anything unfortunaltey, they come in often
: anyway I ignored them for the rest of the night - but kept giving them dirty looks
BETTY BOOB says: OMG TT wahahahahahaha jirre they could have killed you lol
Tipsy Tart says: I COmpletely forgot about it, only told P next day, he wasnt impressed with me
fuck man its expensive, they dont fucking shit ice cream man
BETTY BOOB says: ha ha ha ja that's true hey, but they like ****, they feel that they are ENTITLED to whatever they want
Tipsy Tart says: ditto
BETTY BOOB says: tell the story of when you lost your friend
Tipsy Tart says: Meliza Boobs (thin one with big boobs) real lady, doesnt drink etc
Im actually the only one that gets motherless to be honest,so I take her out for her bday
we having a moerse jol (I think her brother was with) and I was telling the DJ its her bday, all the barmen,we were standing on the stage anouncing to the whole club - u know, super excited
DJ kept giving us tequila out of a glass, the last time i remember seeing her was when we were lesbo vrying on the stage lol
BETTY BOOB says: OMG wahkahahahahahahahaha
Tipsy Tart says: so me and Natalie were dancing and at about 3am they close the bar so we decided fuck that lets go : and we couldnt find Betty Boobiza
she was pooooooooof gone
Tipsy Tart says: asked her brother, nope, so we start a search hahaha
found her asleep half under the bar lol
BETTY BOOB says: lekker dronk
Tipsy Tart says: recognised her bleach blonde hair thank GOD
BETTY BOOB says: wahahaha thats so funny
Tipsy Tart says: so we wanna carry her out and she keeps asking for her handbag
Tipsy Tart says: WTF,where? eventually found it behind the DJ box
funny ending to that story
Tipsy Tart says: we take her home with us, me, her and P in the bed, I sleep way under the Duvet, all she remembers is waking up and looking into P face, she jumped up and ran screaming out fo the room
BETTY BOOB says: probably thought OMF i shagged TT's boyfriend she gonna kill me lol
Ditsy says: makes me feel better about my nights out lately
Tipsy Tart says: yes
BETTY BOOB says: YOH that's funny ha ha
Tipsy Tart says: all we could hear were her bangles jingling as she ran lol

Good old days.......

Tipsy Tart says: I must bring my cd form home, show u girls how hot i was before L
and then DIRECTLY after L,u will die of shock - I cant carry children
Faulty says: tt u still hot man
Boss lady: at one stage I used to have a 6 pack, DH really misses that. he is forever telling me to gym and I don;t gym, the six pack was just there, and then I got pregs and then it was gone
with my enthusiasm to do something bout it
Tipsy Tart says: why does BB wanna c baby picture of L, does she wanna make fun of my child?
Faulty says: ok i wasnt i was still just as lazy
Tipsy Tart: ditto I didnt gym either, altho we were more active, walking etc
i dont walk anywhere anymore
Boss lady says: no I actually sat way more on my ass than now
Tipsy Tart says: nah we used to do stuff atleast
Boss lady says: I use to drink maybe that was the key, I danced myself a six pack
makes sense
Tipsy Tart says: lol yeah well we used to club alot, enough I never used to drink at all
only drank when me and P split
Boss lady says: I use to drink whiskey and water or vodka and soda water and lime and red wine
Tipsy Tart says: and then when L turned 2 i started drinking red wine
I would have like 1 vodka and lemonade, apparently Im more fun when I drink
go figure
Faulty says: dont worry i am also more fun when i drink
Boss lady says: nah faulty, u fun either way
Faulty says: now days im fun when i have energy to say more than two words
Tipsy Tart says: some ppl have the talent of becoming really annoying when they are drunk
Betty Boob says: i have been drinking for years, i am a fun drunk
Boss lady says: I really don't know how I get cuz I can never remember
Tipsy Tart says: yeah me too, well when I dont throw up or fall over
BETTY BOOB says: oh i also fall, but that's irrelevant
i remember up until a specific point,i never remember arriving back home
Faulty says: i cant remember names
BETTY BOOB says: i just wake up the next day
i've never been slutty, well not that i can remember, again, maybe what i thought was sexy, was in fact slutty
Tipsy Tart says: P says one night at a club when I was 18 he was watching me and I vryed two guys same night lol
FUck great story
me and P were sortof seeing eachother, we were both 18, so there's like always certain places that become popular and everyone who is anyone will be there on a saturday night
and me and my GF's were there and my friend saw P vrying another girl and she punched him in the face
classic
P has a 'hit me' face
BETTY BOOB says: OMG whaahahahahaha
Faulty says: pmsl