Faulty has faulty boobs?

Faulty says: tt, ur boobs, does part of ur nipples like sink in coz mine looks weird

Tipsy Tart says: um no Faulty, mines puffy

Faulty says: hmmmmmmmmm ok another faulty thing to add to me, I now got a faulty boob lol

Jaggi says: Faulty! Shame K won’t even be able to get a good trade in on you!

Faulty says: bwahahhahaha

Jaggi says: gees I think I put my contacts in the wrong eyes I better go swop them

Vlam says: hahaha

Kama Sutra says: haha

The 3 Mamma’s at L’s concert

Kama Sutra says: tt how did L’s concert go

BETTY BOOB says: how was L's concert??

Tipsy Tart says: u want to hear a funny story, re: last night
Fuck my family is so funny. ok so we get a letter from School saying we must bring our own picnic basket, drinks and camping chairs, I sms my family and tell them bring ur own chairs and picnic baskets etc.

BETTY BOOB says: oh god I see where this is going -is this now your mom and her sisters?

Tipsy Tart says: YES! they brought with picnic BASKETS, a camping table, and a blanket, their chairs

BETTY BOOB says: what about booze?

Tipsy Tart says: of course there was alcohol (with glasses)

BETTY BOOB says: OMG I knew it!

Tipsy Tart says: Ok but there was lots of other ppl with their booze, the school letter said to bring your own booze lol. Aunty K even brought an ashtray to smoke (I don’t even think you are allowed to smoke? lol) so they bring with Crayfish, biltong, pies, chicken, dip and chips etc (well our family is famous for snack time, its always very impressive set up lol)

BETTY BOOB says: fuck well at least they are organised ha ha ha ha oh my hat I would have laughed so much

Tipsy Tart says: so L comes out and of course super shy, all 3 big mammas stand up and start clapping, waving and hollering at him, it was so cute and he just waved back shyly
and my one aunty (bless her sole) shouts out - 'he waves like the queen
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCk

BETTY BOOB says: I like them already (rofl) they were the entertainment for the evening ha ha
I’m having such a lag now; I’m having a visual of the spot they set up with their table etc (rofl)

Tipsy Tart says: the men (as usual) went to stand in a corner away from them lol

Kama Sutra says: did you take photo’s

Tipsy Tart says: No, my aunty did, it was very nice; he wore a white shirt with a dassie (black)
and he danced to waltzing matilda lol but he was so shy he stuck his tongue out at the side the entire time

VLAM says: lol cute man

Jaggi says: Awww cute man tt!!!

Kama Sutra says: would love to see the pics

Tipsy Tart says: I mean the concert was only like 45min long and my mother was like 'is that it?'
L was very shy shame, he kept doing this weird thing with his tongue, he kept darting it out at the side of his mouth

BETTY BOOB says: ag shame man

Tipsy Tart says: I think he gets that from his dad, coz I LOVE attention, so ja that was the concert
L is NOTHING like me, so introverted like his father, he only has my attitude

Faulty has faulty legs?

Faulty says: I looked like a girl today, a serious one

BETTY BOOB says: oh jeez what did you wear?

Faulty says: a shirt and tight pants

Tipsy Tart says: she showed some leg

BETTY BOOB says: how do you know?

Tipsy Tart says: I saw

BETTY BOOB says: where is my pic

Faulty says: I sent her an mms of my funny legs, she says they not funny but I disagree with her

BETTY BOOB says: why didn't I get one

Tipsy Tart says: they aren’t funny

Faulty says: I will send u one

BETTY BOOB says: ok I just dropped a serious stinker dear lord, I should lock my door

Tipsy Tart says: u get the mms, where ur fone

BETTY BOOB says: no not yet, next to me

Faulty says: any how girls are in the bath let me go bath them and take them out then try finding something for dinner for them

BETTY BOOB says: ok babe

Boss lady says: enjoy Faulty

BETTY BOOB says: I got the pic

Tipsy Tart says: do her legs look funny to u

Boss lady says: no she has skinny legs

BETTY BOOB says: yes they look funny

Tipsy Tart says: bwah typical u

BETTY BOOB says: they very skinny, my legs aren't that skinny

Boss lady says: her legs are way skinnier than mine

Tipsy Tart says: I THINK HER LEGS ARE SKINNIER THAN MINE

BETTY BOOB says: ok I’m saying bye so long, have a fab weekend girls!

What size are your feet?

Boss lady says: Betty Boob what size does N wear now

BETTY BOOB says: he is on a 6 going to a 7

Boss lady says: oh ok so my child isn’t completely a giant

Tipsy Tart says: ppl pls I bought L 5 pairs of shoes for his bday and guess what by the time its winter again it'll be too small, he probably won’t even end up wearing them

BETTY BOOB says: what size is she?

Boss lady says: 5

BETTY BOOB says: that's quite big for a girl her age though hey? Do you have big feet? My niece who is 5 wears a size 6 shoe

Tipsy Tart says: big ppl size 6?

BETTY BOOB says: no man baby size 6, my sister is only a size 3 adult shoe lol

Boss lady says: I wear a 5

BETTY BOOB says: ok so you don't have monster feet

Faulty says: I’m a size 3-sometimes a size 4, just woke up

BETTY BOOB says: I’m also a 5

BETTY BOOB says: C is like a 9

Tipsy Tart says: P is a 9 but is convinced he is an 8

Boss lady says: no idea what r wears

BETTY BOOB says: I can't stand it when people buy slops a size too small and their feet hang off the back lol

Tipsy Tart says: Betty Boob that’s what P does

BETTY BOOB says: EEUW TT I can't handle that,C doesn't buy shoes without me giving the nod

Tipsy Tart says: does anybody care what size L wears or is this ageism

BETTY BOOB says: is there such a word? L is probably a size 9

Tipsy Tart says: I made it up and he is a 9

BETTY BOOB says: I can't get N foot into a size 9 gumboot - that's how fat they are

Tipsy Tart says: I bought all his new shoes size 10 but they too big but I’m worried about his toes

I think he is going to have gravel grippers

Boss lady says: whahahahah

Tipsy Tart says: B u are skinny I bet u have gravel grippers

Boss lady says: I have hangmen toes

Tipsy Tart says: the boere call it gravel grippers, for running, ah the hang mans toe

Faulty says: I got fat short toes

Tipsy Tart says: your hangman toe could’ve saved ur life in the 1600's

Boss lady says: I make perfect prints on the sand

Faulty says: are we talking bout toes?

Tart says: yes Faulty

Follow-up – This is what happens AFTER drunken sex :) 10 October 2009

BETTY BOOB : I still don't have AF :^) my tummy and boobs sore though

Tipsy Tart : oooooooooooooooooooh

Vlam : don’t tell Faulty

Tipsy Tart : u are pregnant, imagine u are WTF

Ditsy : hahahaha Betty Boob

BETTY BOOB : I’m going to go buy a stick

Ditsy : how late are u

BETTY BOOB : what day is it today?

Tipsy Tart : OMG are u? OMG wait I need to book a flight I have to be there

BETTY BOOB : my last period started on 2 September

Tipsy Tart : u are WAY overdue then

BETTY BOOB : so I’m not sure where I am lol, god I’ll die - C will be happy |-(

Tipsy Tart : OMG this is awesome, but u beta still come December
oooh I hope u have a girl

BETTY BOOB :of course I’m coming in December pfft

Ditsy : it’s WAY over 35 day’s babe

BETTY BOOB : oh is it? what day is it today?

Tipsy Tart : yes duh it’s over the 35 days cycle by a week
8th,the 2nd was 30 day cycle mark so u overdue :)

BETTY BOOB : ok well I’ll go by a stick this afternoon if no AF, I’m going to go (smoking) and think happy thoughts

Tipsy Tart : bwah 'yes we are REASONABELY safe' what does that mean lol

BETTY BOOB : if I’m pregnant, C is going for a snip. him and his fucking sperm ai

Vlam : lol

Tipsy Tart : ditto I have to agree though P needs a snip too................oh thank GOD u will be fat when I see u

Ditsy : and I can be the thin one for a change what u girls think?

Tipsy Tart : I think I will make u fat without u knowing it I know u cant resist chocolate :)

Ditsy : bitch u! was telling r u look real sexy pregnant
oh Betty Boob - u should SEE the size of her boobs!

BETTY BOOB : ai man

Tipsy Tart : what Betty Boob are u depressed coz u pregnant

Jaggi : Betty Boob (rofl) pmsl! Go pee on a stick and make Faulty happy! I will just do it by myself next year!

Ditsy : I got to go BETTY BOOB let me know about that stick!

Faulty : ooohh POAS? stick

BETTY BOOB : I’m going to go buy one later this afternoon if still no AF

Faulty : are u going to POAS, are u really going to make my day

BETTY BOOB : yes I am

Faulty : only this afternoon---- you don’t know me well-- I can’t wait that long

BETTY BOOB : ja but I can't go out now, my boss not here yet so I got to wait

Faulty : what his number let me phone him and crap on him for being late

LATER.......

Jaggi : Gees 3 of my friends are preggies...and they are all a week apart!

Tipsy Tart : did Betty Boob do her POAs yet?

Jaggi : I think she is too scared (chuckle)

Tipsy Tart : me 2

BETTY BOOB : I haven't bought one yet

Jaggi : ]:)don’t let us put Faulty on you

Faulty : I see still no stick ai ai ai I want ur bosses number

BETTY BOOB : I’ll go out a bit later man

Faulty : its ridiculous that he so late its awful business ethic, does he not know that it is very important to me that u go buy a stick

BETTY BOOB : I’ll go just now, promise

Faulty : my jeans won’t close even if I lay on the bed and try close them

BETTY BOOB : well you ARE pregnant

Faulty : that is true hey

BETTY BOOB : does Pick n Pay sell sticks? I’m not lus to go to a shopping centre to find a clicks
ok I’ll go look there just now when I go get lunch

Faulty : I want the pic mms'ed to me hey pos or neg I going to invert it

Jaggi : oh the tension is killing me!! (rofl)

BETTY BOOB : guys don't even joke lol

Faulty : its killing me too I can’t believe I haven’t had a nervous breakdown yet

BETTY BOOB : I don't know how I’ll feel you making me stress man

Faulty : u will feel like me- still trying to get used to the idea

Jaggi : well once you know...you just deal with it...

BETTY BOOB : well my one boob is still sore, but no AF symptoms i.e. sore tummy

Faulty : but at least u not alone there are PLENTY chicks out there that are preg

Jaggi : lol is anyone ever READY?

Faulty : it’s going to look like me cause I smsed u and told u to put ur legs in the air

DENIAL..........

BETTY BOOB : realistically speaking, it's not really possible though. unless I ovulated when we were in JHB lol, which would have been like 2 weeks later than what it should have been
oh god then I have to quit (smoking)

EVEN LATER.........

Faulty : any testing done yet

BOOB : just got back! got my stick, it's the maybe baby one
what do I do? or must I now read the instruction?

Faulty : piss on it -I’m visioning two lines

BETTY BOOB : it's NEGATIVE (rofl)

Faulty : nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it’s wrong

BETTY BOOB : only one stripe I’ll take a pic with my camera quick

Faulty : noooooooooo this is very wrong seriously it’s a false negative

BETTY BOOB : OMF there is a VERY faint second line

Faulty : are u serious send a pic through

BETTY BOOB : I’m shaking

Faulty : I knew u were pregnant go get some folic acid

BETTY BOOB : please tell me I’m imagining it, sending pic....... can you see it????

Faulty : (dance)YES u going to be a mommy again

BETTY BOOB : are you serious? do you see it?

Faulty : loud and clear

BETTY BOOB : I’m going to go have my last smoke

Faulty : u will be ok its going to be a girl

Vlam : I SEE A LINE.... phone C

BETTY BOOB : OMG I just looked at it again and it's still there :O and I burnt my lip with my smoke coz I’m shaking

Vlam : you better go for bloods

BETTY BOOB : well if I am, then I can only be like 2 weeks lol maybe 3 pushing it
WHERE IS TIPSY TART -YOU BITCHES JINXED ME
Faulty it's your fault you made me buy a test ;(

Faulty : u the one who listened and put ur legs in the air

BETTY BOOB : YOH I don't know if I should laugh or cry,i must go for bloods tomorrow maybe it's not even really positive

Vlam : nah my dear I saw that line immediately....

Jaggi : (party) OMF!!!! It’s definitely positive!!!!!

Vlam : thank fuck j is a sports model u chicks are contagious

Faulty : right next is JAGGI

Jaggi : no fucking way people!!! leave me out of it

Tipsy Tart : OMF I see a line-Faulty do that negative thingy to the pic

Jaggi : there is definitely a line hey tt!

Vlam : lol we all see the line tt

Tipsy Tart : OMG I’m shocked

Vlam : tt I’m sitting here in total disbelieve

BETTY BOOB : don't laugh I want to cry man lol

Tipsy Tart : WTF - what u expect if u have 'sort of' safe sex dude 3 of us pregnant
Betty Boob I am happy that u are going to be fat, but it ends there

Vlam : When you going to phone C? give him the stick and tell him look what u did

BETTY BOOB : no I can't, he'll come here and then my whole office will know
last time I threw the stick at him. wonder how I’ll do it this time round, where is Ditsy? she is going to DIE

Tipsy Tart : I’m going to sms her

Jaggi : she is going to say I TOLD YOU SO!!!!

BETTY BOOB : I have period pains again, I’m not going to get happy until I’m definitely pregnant

Tipsy Tart : its not period pains :) its stretching pains REMEMBER that what u told me BOOOOHAAAAAA -Why are we all pregnant at the same time its weird
it :*

Tipsy Tart : Betty Boob what time u going for bloods, I’m not in tomorrow

BETTY BOOB : oh I don't know, later in the day. I’ll sms you and don't laugh regardless of result lol

Tipsy Tart : I must laugh coz u was happy for my downfall boohaaaaaaaaaa
oooh I hope ur child is a gemini like me

BETTY BOOB : oh dear no...........

Xxx THE END xxX

Shagging - this is how it began

28 September 2009

Tipsy Tart : oh i wanted to tell u ppl im horny like 24/7 I need help

Jaggi : :D(clap) you go girl!

BETTY BOOB : so then shag

Ditsy : oooooo tt count urself luck babe

Jaggi : at least you cant get preggies so GO FOR IT

Tipsy Tart : I shagged P twice yesterday i think he will stay downstairs for a long time tonight
I smsd P 'im starving' shouldve mentioned: for food, now myabe he wotn come home :^)

BETTY BOOB : we had great drunken sex i was so tired yesterday

Tipsy Tart : oh well done

Jaggi : those are the best

BETTY BOOB : i'm still tired, actually

Tipsy Tart : are u pregnant

BETTY BOOB : nope,my boobs are sore though, but i think that's from all the dancing, coz i wasn't wearing a bra

Vet Koek

TIPSY TART: i have ONE question
BETTY BOOB: yes
TIPSY TART: and its what u ppl class as inappropriate
BETTY BOOB: ok lol
BETTY BOOB: something to do with your COOK
BETTY BOOB: lol
TIPSY TART: does your vagina get bigger coz i swear its like 4 times bigger
BETTY BOOB: (rofl)
TIPSY TART: bwah yes Betty Boob lol
BETTY BOOB: bwahahaha i knew it lol
Faulty: pmsl
BETTY BOOB: well it does "swell" up a bit mos, coz of all the extra blood flow
TIPSY TART: and the foxie bonnet part has a fat roll
BETTY BOOB: bwahahaahahaha
TIPSY TART: oh ok makes sense
BETTY BOOB: bt shoo, i don't recall mine getting fat early in pregnancy, just at the end it was swollen
Faulty: omg u ppl are really strange
TIPSY TART: no its HUGE
Faulty: tt mine is fat
BETTY BOOB: mmmmmmmm
TIPSY TART: yes like fat and bigger
Faulty: no stress, its just cause its not the first kid
BETTY BOOB: so jy het nou a VET KOEK pmsl
Faulty: pmsl
TIPSY TART: now i wonder, ppl that give normal birth - what do their cooks look like fuckit
Betty Boob: TT did your boobs go big with your first pregnancy?
TIPSY TART: um yes Betty Boob
TIPSY TART: u saw that one pic on FB
Faulty: so tt weigh ur boobs tonight k
BETTY BOOB: like a huge bladdy fat vrot guava
TIPSY TART: i squeezed the one and see through stuff came out hahaha
TIPSY TART: i can do magic with my boobs
BETTY BOOB: wahahahaha
TIPSY TART: water bottles

TIPSY TART: dont u ever squeeze ur boobs?
Betty Boob: NO
TIPSY TART: wahahaha why not
BETTY BOOB: well, why would i want to?
makes no sense lol

What kind of NUT will you be?

Faulty says: i wanna be a peacanut cause the name sounds cute and i am cute
Betty boob says: wahahahaha
Boss lady says: I will be a walnut
Betty boob says: wahahaha
Faulty says: Betty boob darling
Betty boob says: i'll be a cashew
Ditsy says: I'll just be the peanut

Pregancy symptoms lesson 1 -farting

Faulty says: i need food im hungry tt u picked up weight yet my tummy is wobbly
Tipsy Tart says: YES,but its all the gas,my stomache is swolen i have ALOT of gas
Faulty says: bet u farting alot
Tipsy Tart says: and i have those luv handles again i farted DH warm in bed last nite lol he was cross
Faulty says: i feel like my tummy is hanging over my jeans, DH jumps up in fright every time i fart

The mafia and other drunken escapades

BETTY BOOB says: did i tell you about falling when we were in Knysna now recently at the oyster fest? fuck it was funny
Tart says: no pls do tell
BETTY BOOB says: we were partying with the guys from parlotones at that skanky jol in knysna. so they have these ottoman things in their private bar upstairs. well i fell over ones of those, and spilt my RUM and coke (why the fuck i was drinking that is a mystery) all over DH and Khan (the lead singer) and then they had to help me up coz i was laughing so much i was so embarrassed the next day OMG
Tipsy Tart says: OMG hahaha
Faulty says: pmsl
Tipsy Tart says: I couldnt stop laughing coz I can totally see u doing that lol
BETTY BOOB says: it was kak funny
Tipsy Tart says: well I had a friend who pukes on brayton (SP) paulse shoes once
BETTY BOOB says: OMG wahahahahaha
BETTY BOOB says: oh and Graham Smith was upstairs with us too, he's such a loser
NO personality
Tipsy Tart says: HE doesnt look like he has one
BETTY BOOB says: he's really droog hey and the chicks were all over him GROSS
he has a huge shnozz
Tipsy Tart says: So is that Breyton guy he thinks he is the shit
BETTY BOOB says: they think they so hot OMG it's pathetic
Tipsy Tart says: I could actually see the crowd directly over his head
short shit
BETTY BOOB says: that's so funny
Tipsy Tart says: he barely made it over the bar counter
BETTY BOOB says: (rofl) wahahahaha that's kak funny
Tipsy Tart says: I personally enjoy completley disregarding celebrities to piss em off
altho once I nearly got into trouble with the mafia lol but thats another story for another drink lol
Ditsy says: what tt?
BETTY BOOB says: tell me the mafia story!
Tipsy Tart says: did i ever tell u about the time when I lost my friend good times
BETTY BOOB says: no TT tell us
Tipsy Tart says: well the mafia one is quite cool coz when Im drunk i get rude
we booked VIP and cudeta and we had champagne and snacks etc with a red rope so other ppl cant come in, so im drinking and being merry and this dudes with suites on just kind of walk in and make themselves comfy and im like looking at them like this :^)
BETTY BOOB says: you sound so bad ass, i can picture it
Tipsy Tart says: and then i get an attitude and im like: wtf - Ive paid for this place, this is a private party blah blah blah and u can just imagine it, real classy hanging slightly to the left (the side thats holding the glass ofcourse) and the one dude gets up and walks out and comes back in and sits
and Im screaming: I cant fucking believe this: are u fucking deaf and dumb? so the manager calls me and asks me to pls not cause a scene but they are mafia and they cant do anything unfortunaltey, they come in often
: anyway I ignored them for the rest of the night - but kept giving them dirty looks
BETTY BOOB says: OMG TT wahahahahahaha jirre they could have killed you lol
Tipsy Tart says: I COmpletely forgot about it, only told P next day, he wasnt impressed with me
fuck man its expensive, they dont fucking shit ice cream man
BETTY BOOB says: ha ha ha ja that's true hey, but they like ****, they feel that they are ENTITLED to whatever they want
Tipsy Tart says: ditto
BETTY BOOB says: tell the story of when you lost your friend
Tipsy Tart says: Meliza Boobs (thin one with big boobs) real lady, doesnt drink etc
Im actually the only one that gets motherless to be honest,so I take her out for her bday
we having a moerse jol (I think her brother was with) and I was telling the DJ its her bday, all the barmen,we were standing on the stage anouncing to the whole club - u know, super excited
DJ kept giving us tequila out of a glass, the last time i remember seeing her was when we were lesbo vrying on the stage lol
BETTY BOOB says: OMG wahkahahahahahahahaha
Tipsy Tart says: so me and Natalie were dancing and at about 3am they close the bar so we decided fuck that lets go : and we couldnt find Betty Boobiza
she was pooooooooof gone
Tipsy Tart says: asked her brother, nope, so we start a search hahaha
found her asleep half under the bar lol
BETTY BOOB says: lekker dronk
Tipsy Tart says: recognised her bleach blonde hair thank GOD
BETTY BOOB says: wahahaha thats so funny
Tipsy Tart says: so we wanna carry her out and she keeps asking for her handbag
Tipsy Tart says: WTF,where? eventually found it behind the DJ box
funny ending to that story
Tipsy Tart says: we take her home with us, me, her and P in the bed, I sleep way under the Duvet, all she remembers is waking up and looking into P face, she jumped up and ran screaming out fo the room
BETTY BOOB says: probably thought OMF i shagged TT's boyfriend she gonna kill me lol
Ditsy says: makes me feel better about my nights out lately
Tipsy Tart says: yes
BETTY BOOB says: YOH that's funny ha ha
Tipsy Tart says: all we could hear were her bangles jingling as she ran lol

Good old days.......

Tipsy Tart says: I must bring my cd form home, show u girls how hot i was before L
and then DIRECTLY after L,u will die of shock - I cant carry children
Faulty says: tt u still hot man
Boss lady: at one stage I used to have a 6 pack, DH really misses that. he is forever telling me to gym and I don;t gym, the six pack was just there, and then I got pregs and then it was gone
with my enthusiasm to do something bout it
Tipsy Tart says: why does BB wanna c baby picture of L, does she wanna make fun of my child?
Faulty says: ok i wasnt i was still just as lazy
Tipsy Tart: ditto I didnt gym either, altho we were more active, walking etc
i dont walk anywhere anymore
Boss lady says: no I actually sat way more on my ass than now
Tipsy Tart says: nah we used to do stuff atleast
Boss lady says: I use to drink maybe that was the key, I danced myself a six pack
makes sense
Tipsy Tart says: lol yeah well we used to club alot, enough I never used to drink at all
only drank when me and P split
Boss lady says: I use to drink whiskey and water or vodka and soda water and lime and red wine
Tipsy Tart says: and then when L turned 2 i started drinking red wine
I would have like 1 vodka and lemonade, apparently Im more fun when I drink
go figure
Faulty says: dont worry i am also more fun when i drink
Boss lady says: nah faulty, u fun either way
Faulty says: now days im fun when i have energy to say more than two words
Tipsy Tart says: some ppl have the talent of becoming really annoying when they are drunk
Betty Boob says: i have been drinking for years, i am a fun drunk
Boss lady says: I really don't know how I get cuz I can never remember
Tipsy Tart says: yeah me too, well when I dont throw up or fall over
BETTY BOOB says: oh i also fall, but that's irrelevant
i remember up until a specific point,i never remember arriving back home
Faulty says: i cant remember names
BETTY BOOB says: i just wake up the next day
i've never been slutty, well not that i can remember, again, maybe what i thought was sexy, was in fact slutty
Tipsy Tart says: P says one night at a club when I was 18 he was watching me and I vryed two guys same night lol
FUck great story
me and P were sortof seeing eachother, we were both 18, so there's like always certain places that become popular and everyone who is anyone will be there on a saturday night
and me and my GF's were there and my friend saw P vrying another girl and she punched him in the face
classic
P has a 'hit me' face
BETTY BOOB says: OMG whaahahahahaha
Faulty says: pmsl

What is your number?

Ditsy - Kama Sutra - Tipsy Tart

Number 2No matter what, every one will love you because you are ruled by the Moon.You day dream a lot, you have a very low-self esteem, you need to have aback up for every move in your life, you are very unpredictable. Youtend to change according to time and circumstances, selfish, have a very strong sense of musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication.You can be sweet as an angel and can be ruthless when double-crossed.Some might say you have a sixth sense. You will become a poet, writer,an artist or a business person. You are not strong in love, so yourrelationship will be in disarray until you settle down. If you are agirl, you will be responsible for your family. If you are a man, youtend to get involve in fights & arguments in the family. You willsacrifice your life for your family. You are gentle, intuitive with abroad vision. You make a well-balanced person.

Boss lady - Faulty - Betty Boob

Number 3You are hard hearted and selfish most of the time. You always tend tohave lots of problems within your family in the early stages but youwill be able to cope with everything. You seem to have your way in everything. And from birth you would always have to work hard to achieveanything you want. You always make a point to set examples on others,especially the younger ones. Generally you are not a cool person. It'snot easy dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you arecomfortable with someone, it will be a lasting friendship. You alwaysearn respect from others. You seem to have lots of worries and problemsbut they won't be for long. You will have brilliant kids! You love moneya bit too much so temptation will push you to try endlessly. You willlook after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life timejust being generous and kind (except for men born on the 21st). You loveyour freedom, creative and ambitious, a person who brings beauty, hope &ample joy to this world!!!

Pookie

Number 4 You are very stubborn, very hard working but unlucky in importantmatters in life, very cool and helpful. You might repel people away fromyou, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man, as you giftedare with understanding other people's problems. If you are a girl, youexcel in your studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of yourtime with girlfriends and you tend to have too much fun with your mates & girls.Your friends will spend your time & money and get on with their life andyou will be left empty handed. So be careful! You love to spend. Yourpositive side is that you are always around to help family and friends.You always fall in love with those younger than you. You often live withdisappointments but you will take good care of your family. You need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. Andbeware of your relationships too. You are radical, patient, persistent,and a hit old-fashioned; you live with foundation & order.

Vlam

Number 6Ooopppss.. you were born to enjoy! You don't care about others. I meanyou always wanted to have a lifetime of enjoyment. You will excel ineither education or business management! You are talented, kind (butwith only people who you think are nice), and popular. All good thingscome easily to you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.You are loveable by any number. But if you are a number 6 men, you willbe involved in more than a few relationships until you get married. Ifyou are a girl, most of you will get married/engaged early. You are acaring person towards your family and friends. You are a person ofcompassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment,and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for everyonebecause you have the great power and caring talent to take the world of love one step further..

Jaggi - the Psycho

Number 9You guys are the most incompatible people in the world. You are sostrong, physically and mentally. You often have big-aims. You will work hard and will think it's still hard to get there, even if you alreadyhave gotten there! Normally you suffer in the early age from familyproblems and generally you will have to fight in life. You are respectedby others. You were however very naughty in your childhood, and oftengot beaten up by your parents and had been involved in fights and youseemed to have suffered lots of injuries. But when you grow older youbecome calm and will fall into the quiet and dignified macho type. Loveis not an easy matter for you. You are however good in engineering orbanking jobs because people always trust you. Your family life is verygood, but you will always worry over your children. Your finer qualitiesare that you are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. Youare born to achieve targets and serve every one equally without any prejudice. You are a role model for everyone.

Swearing toddlers, really? NO!!!! *shock*

Betty Boob: My brat is talking so much now - um except he now swears as well - he repeats everything we say - so then I talk in afrikaans and he copies that too -(
Tipsy Tart : (puke) OMG BB hahaha
Boss lady: whahah BB
Tipsy Tart : L has never said an afrikaans word in his life
Boss lady: ja well I seriously need to watch myself as well, my child also copies me, like when she drops something she goes OH Crap
Tipsy Tart : OMG hahah
Jaggi: My child speaks mostly afr
Tipsy Tart : OH crap is still ok better than Oh fuck
Betty Boob: My brat says everything. it's impossible to have a conversation via phone coz he copies everything and if you IGNORE him, OMG, then he screams in your face till you acknowledge him
Ditsy: HEY oh fuck's not THAT bad
Jaggi: my child just copies words at the mo...but then forgets them again
Boss lady: she said fuck once and we pretended not to hear it
Kama Sutra: when you say a swear word in our house my child will say,moenie fok se nie dis lelik en ek gaan peper in jou mond gooi even to our friends, very embarresing
Ditsy: My child now says oh fudge
Jaggi: Well taught K!
Boss lady: lol cute
Kama Sutra: cause I put pepper in he's mouth once and he hasn't said a swear word since
Betty Boob: I just ignore it
Boss lady: except to tell u not to say it
Tipsy Tart : My child luckily doesn’t swear, he doesn’t know shit is ugly - I only told him recently bwah
Betty Boob: OMG he said FUCK at the lunch table - DH's sister almost died wanted to dig a hole for myself
Boss lady: whahahah
Tipsy Tart : OMG BB well-done haha -what a proud moment man
Kama Sutra: and what did you do
Tipsy Tart : why - I would laugh my ass off
Betty Boob: nothing, she was like WHAT DID HE SAY??? so I was like "FORK" - he sometimes can't pronounce it properly, damn I lie so well
Kama Sutra: great come back
Jaggi: :good cover-up!!! I would've cracked myself!
Kama Sutra: I also laugh when my child swears but I know that will only make him do it more because he thinks he's getting attention
Tipsy Tart : I would’ve just said 'no my child, that a big person word"
Boss lady: Faulty, my child told me this morning that I am a silly nana
Tipsy Tart : OMG B DONT LIE my child tells me everyday I’m a silly banana
weird

What’s new with your brat?

Tipsy Tart: how is your child with the bunny Boss Lady - I want to FORCE L to loves animals but I’m scared
Boss lady: She is very good with him, except that she screams at him and chases him around a bit, but other than that, she hasn't even tried to pick it up yet
Tipsy Tart: she doesn’t try and squash him?
Boss lady: nope -she did fall over him once but they both were ok, they kind of ran into each other
Tipsy Tart: OMG hahaha
Faulty: get L a rat; ask B how good K is with them
Boss lady: lol yes she is
Tipsy Tart: L is fascinated with bird shit – a rat?
Betty Boob: bwahaha my child is obsessed with anything that moves
Faulty: yes a pet rat, they slow so they don’t run which makes them not try squeeze them etc
Tipsy Tart: I don’t know hey L is weird he will probably scream and get cross and tell me the rat wants to eat him
Betty Boob: OMG this morning when I fetch him he says there's a man in his room I think we're entering that stage
Kama Sutra: lol cute BB
Betty Boob: my brat picks up everything and if he can't, then he rides it bwahahaha, obsessing over bird shit is weird
Tipsy Tart: I must tell u two stories its kak funny, oh wait 3
First one
we driving in the car and he says 'pardon’ then he says 'pardon' again and I look at him and he says: I fart alot hey mom, fuck that was kak funny
no.2
he talks ALOT and he rambles on and on, so he was talking something about monsters are at home in his room and I said no they not and he said :O YES they are -I saw them!!!! its ok - my daddy will box them dead
no.3
every morning we step out the door threes bird shit coz the birds poop from the roof and every morning he says: mom watch out for the bird shit
Kama Sutra: wonder where he heard that
Tipsy Tart : and yest there was a massive poop on the floor (I think the bird must’ve digested a rat or something) well L was so excited, mom look at that BIG bird shit WOW - its HUGE man so we get home and the cleaners cleant up, Mom the BIG bird shit is gone
like as in WOW
and I had to give him a high 5 but his teacher taught him to say Popo coz shit is ugly
Betty Boob: bwahahahahahahaha OMG TT he is kak funny
Tipsy Tart : so last nite he sits on the toilet and screams MOM I’m having a popo I’ll call u ok and I’m like ok and he goes OOOOOOoh AAAAH that was a really big one man, my bum is sore, mom come and look at this big one (and that happens alot)
Kama Sutra: D also use to call it KAK and now he calls it bollie -sound weird
Betty Boob: that's insane hahaha
Faulty: omg bwahahahhahah
Kama Sutra: he sounds like you more and more
Tipsy Tart : he is always very pleased with himself if it was big, he likes us to see 'it'

ramblings of a insane mommy whos imagination went wild

Boss lady says: I am going to take a bath
Tipsy Tart says: wait B - im coming i will wash ur back
pooookie says: i dunno wtf u guys are on about
Tipsy Tart says: me either so dont worry hey pookie i have a new look for u
the japanese school girl
first u need
suspenders
long socks
two ponytails (sides of head)
dark make up
school shirt
and bubble gum
faulty says: lol go poookie go poookie u can do that look
pooookie says: ha ha ha ha
Tipsy Tart says: and to spice it up u can lend my bubble gum ;)
pooookie says: ha ha ha haha
Tipsy Tart says: im too old
i cant pull it off
pooookie says: im following in tt's footsteps
Tipsy Tart says: OMG and if u want to we can get u one of those whips they hit the horses with
or a pen
whatever looks best
now i can c u in that
*day dreaming about pookie*
pooookie says: im keen..lets dooooo et
Tipsy Tart says: yay
take ALOT of pics
now do we have to wait for terence to bring the suspenders
pooookie says: i dont know so much about the sharing ur saliva part though
Tipsy Tart says: i dont wait well
pooookie says: ha ha
Tipsy Tart says: i will teach u so dont worry
pooookie says: il have to harrass him
Tipsy Tart says: re: sharing saliva
pooookie says: lol
pooookie says: faulty tt scares me sometimes
Tipsy Tart says: faulty is gone its just u adn I
pooookie says: i have enough of my own saliva dont ya think?
Vlam says: LMFAO @ pookie
Tipsy Tart says: be afraid
pooookie says: omg.. keeenky
Tipsy Tart says: shared bubble gum brings in the nawty factor ok
pooookie says: lol
Tipsy Tart says: dont cheat
pooookie says: it gives me a lil bit of that lesbo look yeah?
Tipsy Tart says: have u watchecd toyko drift
pooookie says: yeah
Tipsy Tart says: well thats us
ok
kapeesh
pooookie says: ha ha ha
Tipsy Tart says: im picturing faulty in langerie taking care of the kids
B soaked in bubbles and pookie dancing around in her toyko outfit and jaggie is my fav
i imagine her with tight bun, glasses pen in the mouht bottle of gin under the table
checking out the cute mail man doing deliveries hahaha
Vlam says: stop making yourself horny.. p not gonna give u anything.. he still smells puke
Jaggie slides off the chair
Tipsy Tart says: geez now i need to pee
Vlam says: same here
Tipsy Tart says: more than three wipes is masturbating hey
Vlam says: meet u at the loo
Jaggie says: pmsl!!! you chicks are too funny!

cleaning the stains

BETTY BOOB says: TT did you get lekka dronk? why you not drinking ever again?
Tipsy Tart says: ask vlam I foned her and then right after i puked in P car
BETTY BOOB says: bwahahahahaha, classic where were you?
Tipsy Tart says: my dads birthday
faulty says: pmsl
Tipsy Tart says: hahahaha
BETTY BOOB says: OMG ha ha
Tipsy Tart says: i danced on the table then P took me home hahaha
BETTY BOOB says: i'm proud of you
Tipsy Tart says: so am I
BETTY BOOB says: i'm doing that on saturday at the wedding bwah i even bought shoes that come off easily lol did you take pics?
Tipsy Tart says: good thinking, Tipsy Tart says: oh heavens no, i was too drunk
Tipsy Tart says: i tried to sms and failed poorly
BETTY BOOB says: bwahahaha
Jaggi says: pmsl Wahaha TT...you go girl!
Tipsy Tart says: P says he has never seen me so drunk, i thought i was going to choke on my own puke it was nasty
BETTY BOOB says: eek man
Tipsy Tart says: i puked on my own lap and in my hair , ah precious moments
BETTY BOOB says: i know it's great bwahaha
Vlam says: bwahahahahah gals it was kak funny....
i'll come tell u just now.. and her spelling OMW.....

We all on a pee break

Tipsy Tart says: drunk friend here
Vlam says: hey u! is p's car clean yet?
Vlam says: j hosed himself when i told him. even he said its' p's fault! LMFAO
Vlam says: these were my drunk msg....
Vlam says: I'm so Fukn druxk
and
Im fucked motheqelds...... my friend u can be glad i understand terrible drunk sms language! Haha

Tipsy Tart says: P car still full of puke coz valets were closed yes he very cross lol
Vlam says: no yuck man....
Tipsy Tart says: i didnt know there was a whole in the bag man
Vlam says: bwahahah LMFAO atleast u tried the bag first.. hahah so much for your GHD'd hair
P should've taken pics!
BETTY BOOB says: puking doesn't count if you don't puke all over yourself -(
Vlam says: no shame.. puking photo's... thats a real bad one
Tipsy Tart says: was purple
BETTY BOOB says: ha ha
Vlam says: shit... yes the red wine fuck i hope they get it all out , he prob swore all the way to the valet this morning
Tipsy Tart says: he doesnt think it'll come out and his car is his love hey i think he hates me
Vlam says: Nah he'll get over it.. if i was you i'd be worried bout the payback he's gonna give u...
payback's a bitch
Tipsy Tart says: he was cross with shiver yest too coz when he woke up shiver peed in the bathroom, plus the smell of my puke hahaha he has the car polished etc like once a month
BETTY BOOB says: VODKA removes wine stains , well according to an email i got
Vlam says: YEAH prob if you clean it immediately.. not like 2 days later ;)
Tipsy Tart says: he foned now, going to cost R100

Desperate Housewives

Boss lady: I have had it, who needs clothes – seriously

Tipsy Tart: ME

Boss lady: why can’t we just be naked, like god made us

Tipsy Tart: not me thanks

Faulty: caused then R and K will want nookie all the time

Tipsy Tart: nah then P wouldn’t want nooki trust me

Kama Sutra: lol ditto TT and I really don't wanna see other woman's koekie's

Boss lady: or even better idea can;t they make a super auper extra strenght deodrant, and we can wear the same clothes all the time

Kama Sutra: gross

Tipsy Tart: yeah one for P then maybe i might want nookie hahaha

Vlam: bwah hahaha

Boss lady: no seriously, all I do is washing and the maid was here yesterday

Faulty: I feel ur pain

Boss lady: it is impossible for 3 people to wear so much clothes

Tipsy Tart: geez u bitches are housewives AND have maids fucking hell now im sad

Boss lady: just once a week

Faulty: just twice a week, oh wait 3 times a week

Kama Sutra: I never have a maid and I hate housework

Vlam: I am the maid

Kama Sutra: ditto V so is I, yeah but F you have 2 kids running around

Boss lady: and I need a dishwasher and tumble dryer ASAP

Kama Sutra: yeah B I can't do without my dishwasher hey

Tipsy Tart: I also need dishwasher

Boss lady: and your house is big Faulty

Kama Sutra: I HATE washing dishes

Tipsy Tart: I wash all the time

Boss lady: me 2 TT

Kama Sutra: I don't mind washing clothes R always forgets he's money in he's pockets - finder’s keepers

Tipsy Tart: and I’m always doing washing, I HATE it

Boss lady: I am going to invent some super extra strength deodorant and eat out of paper plates

Tipsy Tart: yes good idea

Boss lady: oh and not cook anything

Kama Sutra: lol paper plate’s good idea and they can eat with their hands out of tins

Tipsy Tart: yes no more cooking lol

Boss lady: yes

Tipsy Tart: YES

Kama Sutra: imagine that

Boss lady: or plastic forks that u can throw away

Kama Sutra: and give them "borslappe" so they don't mess on their clothes, the ones that catch the food so they can eat it for supper again then you safe on food too

Boss lady: YES, seeing that we will need to buy a lot of plastic sheets we need to save here

whose more vulgar - YOU ARE!!!!

Betty boob says: bwahahaha OMG kak funny, i'm busy reading through all the old stuff now and i'm pissing myself
my god, but we are funny OMG i can't stop laughing

Tipsy Tart says: we are disgusting hey hahahaha

Betty boob says: OMG i'm shocked at us, especially us 2 (blush)

Tipsy Tart says: yeah we are quite vulgar hey - way worse than the other girls hahahaha

Betty Boob says: i know gosh real potty mouths
that's like fancy english

Tipsy Tart says: hahahaha let try and polish our acts, surely we can be vulgar in a nice manner

Betty boob says: mmmmmmmmm i'm not so sure hey

Tipsy Tart says: yeah me either hahahahha

Betty boob says: i bet that guy won't be chatting to you anymore now that he knows what you're like with your girl friends bwah

Tipsy Tart says: u know now that uve said that

Betty boob says: he's quiet, isn't he?

Tipsy Tart says: ive sent him several msgs on skype which he hasnt returned (blush)

Betty boob says: OMG (blush) that's kak funny

Tipsy Tart says: OMG hahahahaha oh lord

Betty boob says: im about to piss in my pants

Tipsy Tart says: and to think i sent him pics of my feet

Betty boob says: OMG phone him

Tipsy Tart says: Nah he will come back for more

Betty boob says: he's probably showing his friends our blog

Tipsy Tart says: OVERSHARE i think it was best we didnt use our names hey

Betty boob says: i know (blush shit how embarrassing

Tipsy Tart says: ok i spat tea on my keyboard

Betty boob says: i can't get over how vulgar i am - shit no wonder i have more guy friends than girl friends it's terrible

Tipsy Tart says: and im afraid to go to the loo coz my friend says he going to tell my colleague WHY i flush the loo 3 times

Betty boob says: now you can't take a dump in peace anymre
ok i'm going to the loo i'll flush 3 times

Fast and the furious

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Sunburnt Nipples

Vlam: ag, i'm so glad u back.. my day somme seems better.... shit i've been for 2 sessions on the sunbed, my boobs are freaking red..... new bulbs... ouchie.... got today and friday then only next week again. have to have bit of colour before my sis's wedding

Tipsy Tart: but u are a red head how the fuck do u tan babe? and the frekkles? haha

Kamasutra: hallooo girls

Tipsy Tart: i have to see this - post me a pic! hey kamasutra ;)

Kamasutra: what you girls skindering about???

Vlam: forget it!!!! bout my red boobies... got burnt on the sunbed.. lol

Kamasutra: V you must put sunblock on your nipples,girl!!!!

Vlam: no frekkies not that bad babe. oh but not my nipples that are burnt the soft white flesh between my boobs....

Kamasutra: o ok....

Vlam: i've got very light skin also think thats why sunbed made me bit red...: more pink actually

Kamasutra: I wanna go for a brazillian wax,any of you been? I have tried all the beauty
therapists in George,but none of them do it

Vlam: nee fok, eina..... jy's braaf ek skeer eerder

Kamasutra: leke plaas dorpie die

Vlam: See TT, now thats the bundus not us... hahahahah

Tipsy Tart: no Vlam u dont understand - they atleast have a freaking airport haha

Vlam: hey so do we cow....

Tipsy Tart: ja one flight PER DAY from joburg ONLY whoop whoop

Vlam: u suck man.... we have plenty flights.....

MEN!!! Tisk Tisk

Ditsy: JOH JOH i'm finding some sexy tatoos here

Tipsy Tart: like what? are u still getting a butterfly

Ditsy: i’ll send you a pic, but now R says he doesn't want his porcelain dolly getting one

Tipsy Tart: which one u like most? i cant decide

Ditsy: i donno, but looks like R isn't going to let me get one - he says its not me

Tipsy Tart: let you? whats that? P knows better than to tell me - mind u, he does try ;)

Ditsy: lol - ok, good thing you already married babe. Was P also very romantic in the beginning of your relationship, and then it got to no romance??

Tipsy Tart: yes!!!! i dont even get prezzies

Ditsy: yeah, mines driving me mad- he keeps saying what do i want as a prezzie, the more i tell him to surprise me, the more he says he doesn't know what to get me. i think i should just buy my OWN prezzies from now on

Tipsy Tart: they dont get it that its the thought that counts - last minute makes me feel so unthought of and neglected

Ditsy: DITTO!!!: its like he DID forget its my bday

Tipsy Tart: exactly

Ditsy: oi! and then he ends it off with:: we'll order some pizza or something - k

Tipsy Tart: what -oh my goooooooooooooooood

Ditsy: how exhilarating, so for anniversary it was a flop, and now this too - we EVER win

Tipsy Tart: nope i dont think so hey

Ditsy: maybe i'm just spoilt, but its his fault - he spoilt me in the beginning............. boat cruises.......sunset drinks

Tipsy Tart: then he got u pregnant ;)

Ditsy: yeah - TWICE!

Multiples O's........

Vlam: ... u girls never had multiple o's???

Jaggi: NO!!! (blush) explain

Vlam: its one orgasm and like 2-3 min later another one... its the best thing ever...

Betty Boob: no i haven't

Tipsy Tart: why would u continue after you already O'd? i just say "ok get off' then i go to loo and then sleep

Vlam: ok, TT that vibro thingy did u guys use it

Tipsy Tart: no we didnt Vlam

Betty Boob: ha ha ha HB

Vlam: TT NO MAN!!!! when u gonna use it.. that gives multiple o's but that one u got is one u get with the lube...

Kamasutra: I have multiple O's but after another,we don't just have sex once,we have sex then cuddle a bit and kiss and then have sex again

Tipsy Tart: ag no Kamasutra why?: i just wanna slee,he musnt even look at me - i'll smack him

Kamasutra: haha I don't know why,cause I like it that way

Vlam: i promise u once u've had a multiple o.... u want it over and over again..

Jaggi: no we do it, both O then its over. Then back at it next day again

Drink yourself a personality

Ditsy says: hello

Jaggie says: (wave)sorry...looks like you are all alone out here

Ditsy says: seems so hey its bad enough that i talk to myself hey

Jaggie says: Talking to yourself is fine...its when u start boring yourself that it gets a bit much

Ditsy says: YOU TELLING ME!! i'm at that point today babe its frightening

Jaggie says: (rofl)gees and you cant even have a drink or 2 to give yourself more personality!

Ditsy says: bwaha, lucky for me, i already got loads of that hey

Jaggie says: not when you bore yourself when u talk to yourself i meant...

Tipsy Tart says: *digging in nose* huh?

Ditsy says: *waddles off to get a cookie*

Vlam: hey Debs, u freaking fast hey.... don't even give me a chance to finish.... lol

Ditsy says: she quick hey think she's bored? or just one of them super women ppl

Vlam says: ja dammit speedy gonzales se gat lol

Jaggie says: yes she is....says she to herself (whats the point of being a gemini if u cant be a
schitzo) some times u r a gem...and sometimes a naai

Boobies and Milk

Ditsy: i got nice boobies wanna see

Faulty: yea

Jaggi: oh yes!!!

Faulty: i gott droopy boobs

Ditsy says: i got pregnancy boobies now

Faulty: can use them as an ad for boob jobs or somthing

Ditsy: BEEG ones

Jaggi: mine too! they look at my toes

Ditsy: hahahaha

Jaggi: My boobs stayed the same

Ditsy: rolling on the floor : mine got HUGE with Chey

Jaggi: GET UP YOUNG LADY! You must knock your bump -: DH must've loved that!

Ditsy: ooo he did o Gooness that reminds me

Faulty: im greatfull that mine are long though -K tries to touch them and he touches my chest and he normally too tiered to look for them

Ditsy: the one morning, while i was BF R decides he wants nookie so we at it and next thing i know, i got streams of milk pouring out

Faulty: i shot keith with my milk

Jaggi: I was a bad cow :( so DHgot his boobies back very soon

Faulty: i used to come out the shower and it was sparyain out with full force so i make shotgun sounds and shot him with milk

Jaggi: :Oyoh lucky u!!!

Ditsy: lol Debs, i had so much milk

To drink or not to drink.... that is the question

Jaggie says: And you guys STILL going to stick to your guns? No drinking?
EEEEEEEEEK!

Tipsy Tartsays: i dont know, i will c
DH says i can but i dont think its fair lol

Jaggie says: Well good on you both!!!! I will have to get pregnant before I can (wasntme)

Boss Lady says: drink like us - in moderation as soon as u feel tipsy switch to water

Tipsy Tartsays: what? never? haha
yeah i drink in moderation and every now and again i let my hiar down esp on girls nights

Jaggie says: oh no...by that time my brain switches off...and wont think of drinking water

Tipsy Tart says: DH on the other hand ALWAYS gets drunk so he has decided its easier to stop then to pace himself
i wouldnt drink water either, kind of doesnt make sense to drink then in the first place lol

Jaggie says: I suppose everything in moderation!

Tipsy Tart says: than not then

Boss Lady says: I just don;t like being completly drunk out of my mind and feeling like shit the next day

Tipsy Tart says: me either Boss lady

Jaggie says: (puke) i agree!!! Esp with a kid...

Boss Lady says: and we drink vodka most of the time so the people think we r still drinking and nobody feeds us more drinks lol

Tipsy Tart says: i also drink vodka

Jaggie says: Wine makes me shitfaced...so now I stick to whisky and water (esp after fri night!)

Boss Lady says: lol or we just have coke

Jaggie says: Clever ;)

Tipsy Tartsays: ditto Jaggie, im off the wine, makes me fucked outta my mind
i enjoy getting to that level where everything is fun, but u still look ok and know whats wrong and right lol

Jaggie says: YES EXACTLY!!! I now know to stop and go to bed when i start karoaking to guns n roses! Then I know i am past my sell by date

Boss Lady says: wahahaha

Tipsy Tart says: lol nah thats when the fun starts, when i try and pole dance then i know im a goner

Jaggie says: (rofl)

Faulty says: i have to admit

Tipsy Tart says: or when i start ordering drinks for the strangers standing next to me at the bar

Faulty says: i dont know when to stop

Jaggie says: wahahaha what a waste!!

Tipsy Tart says: we not saying we stop, we just saying this is what happens lol

Jaggie says: Lol Faulty!!!

Faulty says: lol i stop when i passed out with my croakmaster

Tipsy Tart says: hahahahaha

Jaggie says: wahahaha! (d)

"Mommy's gone wild" come in all shapes and sizes

Tipsy Tart says: hey Boss lady - u feeling better?u need to eat more man, u freaking skinny, it should be illegal to be so skinny, u make us all look fat

Vlam says: lol

Faulty says: im like a heffalump against Boss lady

Jaggie says: Well said Hunnibunni!

Bettyboob says: bwahaha

Jaggie says: (rofl)i am like a heffalump ANYWAY

Faulty says: (rofl)

Tipsy Tart says: i look like a giraffe, thin neck and big bum lo

Bettyboob says: bwahaha

Jaggie says: Atleast I am in shape....round IS A SHAPE (rofl)

Bettyboob says: bwahaha so true i like your positive outlook on life

Faulty says: ha ha ha Jaggi, thas funny
im also round

Jaggie says: well i know my 6pack is here...its just hiding beneath my PAPSAK!

Faulty says: BWAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jaggie says: whatever Faulty!!!

Faulty says: but its true -although i think i am more oval

"Mommy's gone wild" come in all shapes and sizes

Hunnibunni says: hey Boss lady - u feeling better?
u need to eat more man, u freaking skinny, it should be illegal to be so skinny, u make us all look fat

Vlam says: lol

Faulty says: im like a heffalump against Boss lady

Jaggie says: Well said Hunnibunni!

Bettyboob says: bwahaha

Jaggie says: (rofl)i am like a heffalump ANYWAY

Faulty says: (rofl)

Hunnibunni says: i look like a giraffe, thin neck and big bum lol

Bettyboob says: bwahaha

Jaggie says: Atleast I am in shape....round IS A SHAPE (rofl)

Bettyboob says: bwahaha so true
i like your positive outlook on life

Faulty says: ha ha ha Jaggi, thas funny
im also round

Jaggie says: well i know my 6pack is here...its just hiding beneath my PAPSAK!

Faulty says: BWAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jaggie says: whatever Faulty!!!

Faulty says: but its true -although i think i am more oval

And somtimes I hear voices...

Faulty says: i always hear voices

Bettyboob says: bwahaha

Faulty says: they always telling me to have a smoke

Bettyboob says: but that's coz of all the drugs

Faulty says: and coffee

Faulty says: PMSL

Jaggie says: lol Faulty...the voices in your head are trying to ESCAPE from you!

Tipsy Tart says: i also hear voices, but they arent devine, theyre neurotic

Bettyboob says: ha ha

Faulty says: that could be it too

Adoption

Jaggie says: I am putting myself up for adoption!!! Anyone interested?

Bettyboob says: bwah why?

Kamasutra says: haha

Jaggie says: My mom came over on friday at 3pm for a glass of wine...so we klapped 2 bottles of wine..then got stuck into Jack and it all went downhill from there! So we cant have 2 dronkies in the family...so I need to find a (sober) family

Bettyboob says: bwahahahahahahaha

Kamasutra says: lol

Bettyboob says: ok well i can't take you in

Jaggie says: Damn! Wahahaha Hunnibunni will have to then!

Bettyboob says: ha ha yes well she is the sober one now lol

Skinny jeans

Faulty: i apparently need skinny jeans

Betty Boob: bwah

Faulty: how the hell my ass gonna fit into a pair god only knows

Betty Boob: i would never wear skinny jeans i'm too pear shaped

Boss Lady: I love my skinny jeans I am also pear shaped BB

Betty Boob: ja because you are SKINNY oh rubbish

Boss Lady: u just need to find the right pair

Faulty: well BL you perfect for them skinny jeans and mmmmmmm pear shaped i dont think so im pumpkin shaped

Boss Lady: I am soo pear shaped

Betty Boob: Boss Lady is just trying to make conversation - there is nothing pear shaped about her

Boss Lady: my ass is huge

Betty Boob: WE HAVE SEEN PICS OF YOU REMEMBER blegh

Boss Lady: lmao not nekked ones lmao

Faulty: yea we know what u look like

Betty Boob: ja but if you had a big arse, you wouldn't agree to a photo shoot man

Boss Lady: I hide it well

Betty Boob: you're one of those mothers who is hated and resented by other fat mothers lol

Boss Lady: hahahah

Betty Boob: a yummy mummy is the term

Faulty: or milf

Betty Boob: bwah

The fisherman's tale

Kamasutra: the worst is when R comes home from the fish waters and he wants to hanky panky - he smells like fish even after he showered

Betty Boob: eeuw that's disgusting no thank yoU!

Boss lady: gross

Kamasutra: I make him wash he's hands with lemon that's the only thing that takes the smell away

Betty boob: TG C doesn't like fishingphew

Boss lady: u must let him shower with sunlight liquid

Faulty: crickey u all can talk

Kamasutra: yeah that's an idea

Betty Boob: imagine how that dries your skin

Kamasutra: he always says he's tollie doesn't smell so he doesn't know why i'm turned off
WTF

Toys Toys Toys

Faulty: sigh, more toys...............seriously

Betty Boob: what more toys?

Faulty: yea my kids put toys every where

Betty Boob: ah no man grrrrrrrr

Faulty: i open the cuboard to get a glass out and i find TOYS

what does excercise have to do with it?

Tipsy Tart: I was in bath last nite telling Dh about u girls going for boob jobs etcso he said that if i fall preggers again and go for c-section i can have mini tuck and boob lift!!!!!!!he says i deserve it after 2 kids (blush)

Faulty: ooooooohhhhhhhhhh LUCKY YOU

Tipsy Tart: i know - now i cant wait to fall pergnant lol

Faulty: dont stress bout falling pregit takes longer

Betty boob: tha't fab!!

Tipsy Tart: thanks for the advice Faulty lol
my vjj is tired of all the pomping anyway

Betty boob: good!at least you're doing your homework!

Faulty: when ever i go on diet i fall pregnantso i not going on diet and never excercising

Tipsy Tart: what u call that lube stuff - we have a blue one - and its up already - so now u know...........

Betty boob: KY

Faulty: all the other pregnancies just didnt last

Betty boob: hell so you got a great excuse to NOT diet

Faulty: when i decide to loose weight and get fit - bam pregnant in a monthso no getting thin and no healthy lifestyle NO NO NO

Betty Boob: sounds great to me!

Faulty: maybe in 4 years time i will think about being healthy and thin again

Betty Boob: lol AND pregnant

Faulty: yip bwaaaahhhhhhaaaa i decided that if i want kids to make my family as big as i want i gonna have to have two sets of twins, well if i wait a few years inbetween i gonna be so old

Betty Boob: bwahahahaha

Wayne's World

Betty boob: TT are you real?

Tipsy Tart: am i real?

Betty boob: yes

Tipsy Tart: depends......

Betty boob: ha ha

Tipsy Tart: u ever watch that movie about the guy who made a celebrity out of that computer program, im like her
this is my computer talking boooooooohhhhaaaaaaaaa

Betty boob: omg you a nut

Kamasutra: simone

Tipsy Tart: SIMONE!!!!!! it is I, wayne

Kamasutra: WTF

Tipsy Tart: c its working already

Vlam: i'm lost

Tipsy Tart: i'll come find you, might take a few weeks, but DONT GO ANYWHERE

Betty boob: OMG you are so weird

Tipsy Tart: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG - are u having sex there BB, with all the swearing etc

Betty boob: yes with my hand - why do you ask?

Tipsy Tart: coz I c u

Kamasutra: you should really become a stand up comedian

Betty boob: bwahahaha

Gifts and gadgets

Vlam: next year we all put our names in a hat and we pick each other and buy stuff like this.... stuff we will all like and USE not WASTE.....

Tipsy Tart: ditto

Ditsy: i agree! we can do valentines day and mommy's day and our birthdays AND Christmas

Vlam: hahaha slow down eager beaver.. u just want alot of sex toys...geez women

Ditsy: OF COURSE! imagine the variety we'd have! we'd NEVER complain about our libidos again

Vlam: lol ja.. u'd better stock up on rechargeable batts...

Ditsy: and we'd all be skinny cause of all the humping and orgasms grrrrrrrrr our men will WORSHIP us

Vlam: now well thats a plan....

Ditsy: bwahaha! see - not just a pretty face hey!

Tipsy Tart: why didnt u guys tell me my friend was lookign for me :@

Vlam: oh sorry i thought you know them being your peeps and all...

Ditsy: i did DINGBAT go read up there ai wee jy moet jy ALTYD so dof wees?

Vlam: hahaha again, pot calling kettle black... hahahaha

Tipsy Tart: bwah joh - cant believe i almost missed an invite to suip - shocking

Ditsy: absolutely NO comment whatsoever!

Vlam: seems like u've had enough already

Ditsy: sighs LOUDLY

Tipsy Tart: laughing at u all

Ditsy: moers Tipsy Tart off her chair

Tipsy Tart: another glass of wine

Ditsy: drinking at work! Shocking!

Tipsy Tart: i wish.........

Ditsy: seems i won't have to hit you off that chair, you'll fall off ALL BY YOURSELF

Betty Boob: jis you lot can talk kak, i'm outta here

Ditsy: trained by the best babe

Alcohol + sex = Ditsy

Tipsy Tart: so Boss Lady - u miss me much?

Boss Lady: offcourse I do

Tipsy Tart: I miss u - not sex talk for a while hey

Betty Boob: ooh i got a question!!!

Vlam: tell us we tell u if its good or not...

Betty Boob: well i just wondered - has anyone's husband / boyfriend had a pee IN YOU while you shagging or is that impossible

Ditsy: DISGUSTING!!

Boss Lady: OMG

Tipsy Tart: lol

Vlam: FUCKING DISGUSTING

Boss Lady: PMSL NOOOOOOOO

Betty Boob: yes but is it possible?

Boss Lady: I have never even thought about that

Vlam: don't think its possible and don't wanna try either...

Tipsy Tart: maybe - if it happened we were most likey very drunk hahaha

Betty Boob: ha ha ha ha TT

Vlam: i can't have sex when i'm drunk all i wanna do is either puke or pass out

Betty Boob: well we were about to do the dirty sunday morning, when the man said he really needs to go pee first and then the thought struck me

Tipsy Tart: BB - DH also usually says he needs to pee first otherwise his balls pain afterwards

Ditsy: my life is so boring, all i do is carry aliens

Tipsy Tart: Your Man is trying to keep you pregnant coz APPARENTLY you and alcohol = bad idea

Betty Boob: yeah she pukes all over him

Vlam: PMSL sis Ditsy

Ditsy: yeah well, too much alcohol and the boobs come out and then a bit further and i pass out

Tipsy Tart: NO - she out drinks and out parties him - he cant keep up - oh and he whispered that she embarasses him bwah

Ditsy: and the problem IS?

Betty Boob: exactly

Tipsy Tart: dittoDitsy - im like that sober haha

Betty Boob: i'm lank embarrassing when i'm drunk - it's great

Vlam: i get loud and giggly.... oh and i smoke. (puke)

Tipsy Tart: so am i BB - out of body experience - thats my story and im sticking to it

Boss Lady: I am embarasing and I don;t even need a drink

Tipsy Tart: stick with us - we kak cool

Ditsy: i dont need no alcohol to be fun or embarrassing

Once upon a time my feet stank

Tipsy Tart: my feet stink

Betty Boob: bwah gross!

Tipsy Tart: wearing pomps

Betty Boob: pomps? bwahaha

Ditsy: its when you have sex mel, you pomp except Tipys Tart having the plural

Tipsy Tart: well what u call those ballerina shoes

Betty Boob: PUMPS

Ditsy: oh so its NORMAL to have stinky footsies when you wear those? was wondering hey

Betty Boob: well mine don't stink

Tipsy Tart: ok - putting them back on /me feels dazed and confused / intoxicated

Betty Boob: bwahaha

Tipsy Tart: jirre u know

The day Bettyboob lost 10kg...

Tipsy Tart: hey u bitch - i enjoy the occassional insult BUT I CANT BE RUDE TO U ive got some good insults lined up tho - but it seems too rude to post - i cant do it (blush)

'u are not urself today - i noticed the improvement immediately; bwah
wheres Betty Boob

Betty Boob: fuck off man i went for a crap

Vlam: to much info thnx Betty Boob

Ditsy: lol dont remind me, yesterday i went to the loo

Betty Boob feels 10kg lighter

Ditsy: and the bathrooms are right next to each other so i went in for my wee and someone went in next door

Vlam: did u see another guy's dick again...

Tipsy Tart is inlove with Betty Boob - she is crude and rude

Ditsy: next thing you hear: BOINK sheesh, that mustve been one hell of a crap hey!!

Vlam: PMSL.... he was playing battleships man...

Tipsy Tart: haha

Ditsy: lol

Vlam is now also needing a crap ;)

Betty Boob: hope it's a stinker!

Ditsy: sheesh, if we like this without alchohol, imagine WITH alchohol

Vlam: oh fuck... spare us that

Ditsy: i might show you my breastesses

Betty Boob: bwah ok can't wait!!

Vlam: i'll have to now start giving dh LOADS sex to convince him.. oh ja and start saving...

Betty Boob: don't allow me to swim when i'm drunk i think i'm a dolphin

Tipsy Tart: thats reminds me - i fucking sang to boere music last nite – disgusting

Ditsy: NO!! did you dance too?

Vlam: bwahaha thats how i knew she was pissed....

Tipsy Tart: i LOVE sambuca - i c u guys planning a trip to CT

Vlam: yeah baby

Tipsy Tart: we stay at my house, we closer to the clubs and pubs and we have a pool so when we wanna be mermaids only the perv next door will c hahaha

Vlam: fuck i'm gonna have to start eating only lettuce so look good next to you skinny bitches...

Tipsy Tart: bwahahaha ok now i'm gonna go eat cake and practice my mermaid moves on the floor

Ditsy: lol! shit now i gotto go to the loo

Vlam: lol take pictures...

Ditsy is blushing like mad hey

Vlam: not the loo, the mermaid practising

Tipsy Tart: haha Ditsy
ok - there must be something in the air - now i need to crap lol

Vlam: lol def in the air..

Ditsy: so have we all had our daily poop then?

Betty Boob: i'm back and i'm stuffed, prolly gonna have another pooh later

Ditsy: NO MAN, just as i took a bite out of my toast

Betty Boob: bwah hope you don't have peanut butter or something thick on it

Vlam: FFS sis

Tipsy Tart: thats nasty
u really need to get ur face fucked Betty Boob

Betty Boob: what? your grammar is shocking I don't understand what you're trying to say

Vlam: bwahahaha

Ditsy: lol – sarcasm

Tipsy Tart: shame its understandable seeing as u have the elitricy of a 5yr old

Betty Boob: literacy? is that what you are trying to say? sorry i'm too clever
i don't get what you're saying

Ditsy: bwahaha!! dingbat

Tipsy Tart: theres absolutely nothing wrong with my grammar - im shocked

Betty Boob: bwah, ok if you say so

Tipsy Tart: Vlam talks in past tense

Betty Boob: did you finish school?

Tipsy Tart: you guys are irritating

Ditsy: we KNOW babe, we KNOW that's why you LOVE us you want to KISS us

Tipsy Tart: ag fuck off man

Betty Boob: you thrive on all the attention we give you

Ditsy: where to?

Betty Boob: bwah

Tipsy Tart: wait - 'u want to looooooooove me, you want maaaaaaaaaaary me' haha i love that song
I dont mind insults - but u guys are ATTACKING me today

Betty Boob: did you take a photo of your crap by the way

Tipsy Tart: oh my fuck TMI but i couldve - fucking floater i flushed 3 times and the bathroom is next to my colleagues office so he has no doubt what i was up to haha

Betty Boob: bwahahaha how blind!

Ditsy: you girls are DISTURBED i tell ya, you corrupting my Koek mind!

Breaking up is always hard to do

Vlam says: morning, monday... bleah - how u lot all doing?

Jaggi says: (wave)Morning!!! Hope you all had a stunning weekend???
Vlam - did you get your DSTV??? WE DID!

Faulty says: i got a little bit drunk on sat

Jaggi says: :Faulty!! You got drunk??? NEVER!!!

Faulty says: but i didnt end up in the jacuzzi which is a good sign lol

Kamasutra says: morning girls

Jaggi says: (wave)morning!!!

Bettyboob says: hello lovely ladies :)

Tipsy Tart: ZZzzzzzzzzzzz

Bettyboob says: eish - did you have a good one TT?

Faulty says: my dinner on friday was FAB by the way

Bettyboob says: really?

Bettyboob says: i'm impressed hey!

Faulty says: yep i even ate it+ lol

Bettyboob says: was the steak not a bit tough? hey did you get my pic i sent you yesterday?

Faulty says: nope it melted in my mouth

Jaggi says: (rofl)OMG I am slow

Bettyboob says: or did i send it to the wrong person? Bwahahahahahaha hello Jaggi

Faulty says: no i got it lol but my phone went flat couldnt reply -looks fucking sore

Bettyboob says: oh ok, just as long as it went to the right person ha ha ha

Jaggi says: So BB...wheres my photie of the tit in discussion?

Faulty says: aggg shame Socks and Ben broke up last night

Bettyboob says: bwahahaha WHY Faulty???

Faulty says: im not sure she hasnt spoken about it

Bettyboob says: ok

Faulty says: she just came through in tears and said they broken up. i didnt know what to do hey, i htough i would give her icecream cause in the movies that makes everything better but being the good cousin i am i gave her a stong pain tab and wine

Jaggi says: Shame Faulty! How long were they together?? And is it a definate break up or those who break up and make up as the tides change?

Faulty says: but i not gonna wake her up i think she is hung over, she had herself 2ltrs of wine bwahhaaa, im such a good cousin really

Bettyboob says: OMG ha ha ha ha ha she gonna feel terrible!

Jaggi says: Nothing cures pain quite like wine..til the next morning!

Faulty says: yep but it will distract her from the break up for a while

Jaggi says: Shame she needs cream soda, panado's and naar pille

Faulty says: i know they had a HUGE fight on friday and she ended up going to ballito with her friend to get away and then when she came home on sat i could see she was upset but i was too pissed to care then last night they were here and they were very quiet in the lounge so i got the drift they needed to talk so i came and harrased b and robin on skype and then thats when she came through

Bettyboob says: oh shame man :(

Faulty says: im sure she will tell us all the story, but for her to dissapear to ballito spur of the moment must have been something bad

Bettyboob says: oi, i wonder what's up

Tipsy Tart: i wonder whether sum1 didnt cheat, maybe her or him?

Faulty says: no i dont think so-- i think its more to do with his drinking maybe-- and he very possesive over her but you never know hey

Tipsy Tart says: whats the FB link for? I dont think mines opened on the right place

Faulty says: i was drunk and thought i was a motorbike person, argg i really embarresed myself myself and candi polished off 5ltrs of wine each

Jaggi says: :OEEK!!! (puke)

Faulty says: i felt very sorry for myself yesterday

Jaggi says: Jy wil mos!!! My liver will jump right out of my stomach if i try that shit again (chuckle)

Faulty says: to be honest i think i am still trying to recover but its ok keiths client loves me bwahhaaaa

Kamasutra says: TT how was the meet on Saturday?

Jaggi says: (rofl)Did you take photo's?

Tipsy Tart says: lizelle took pics with her fancy camera so i didnt wanna whip out my 1940's canon lol

Jaggi says: oh! Wahahaha I hate those Larny's, but i take better photo's anyway (NOT!) but i will keep telling myself that

Tipsy Tart says: Lwas his usual naughty self so dont believe any of the stories u hear about him being cute or whatever

Kamasutra says: did you hold C?

Tipsy Tart says: no i was too scared, but i did have to watcher her and then i forgot! I actually walked away and left her on the table bwah - then lizelle called me and said, arent u watching camryn haha, but dont tell Ditsy

Vlam says: my fucking brother just irritated the shit out of me.... he is naggingly irritating... totally fucked up my day...... breath in.. breah out...

Tipsy Tart says: Ditsy looked so pretty, i actually at one point felt like smacking her, she has no right to look so good after giving birth - BITCH

Kamasutra: lol HB Beth is gorgeous

Vlam: where are these photo's??

Bettyboob says: i also wanna see photos

Faulty says: right kid one down for nap, kid two is at school

Bettyboob says: ha ha peace and quiet~

Faulty says: sheesh Boss lady is sleeping in late today hey and i see S too, or they just hiding from me. i sang to them last night

Bettyboob says: bwahahahaha OMG Faulty

Faulty says: no i didnt only joking, but i did bug them horrible
u all nearly got a phone call on Saturday but keith hid my phone
he told me u were all sleeping

Bettyboob says: bwahaha OMG shame man, how could he lie to you like that?

Faulty says: i know even A (the client) kept saying shame man and then he was gonna let me use his phone

Bettyboob says: eish Faulty, you must write our numbers down somewhere so if he pulls that stunt again, you can still phone us lol
is B pregnat aggain?

Faulty says: no she not preg but she just admitted she hopes to fall preg soon

Kamasutra says: I personally think she must take a break for a while and if she gets pregnant again she must keep it quite for a while

Bettyboob says: did you see what happened to B again this weekend? that child has alot of accidents :(

Kamasutra says: yip and it seems whenever the dad's around hey

Bettyboob says: yes, it's odd

Kamasutra says: I know yes, not that I mean anything by it, men are just not as protected as woman are

Bettyboob says: no same here, just wondering out loud lol
i just watched a video clip of a anaconda putting a child

Kamasutra says: like this weekend,R thinks its very funny that our jack russel wants to bite D's tottie

Bettyboob says: oops

Kamasutra says: and I don't what if he bites it off

Bettyboob says: WTF monna that's just wrong lol, reminds me of Hunnibunni's dog

Kamasutrasays: exactly, HB’s got weird pets lol - no offence

Bettyboob says: she does

Kamasutra says: Jaggi do you know **********? he just walked into our office,one very drunk night I smooched him and it was so imbaressing now lol he's looking for honeymoon packages but couldn't look him in the eye so gave him to another consultant

Jaggi says: :Ddont think i know him Kamasutra...

Kamasutra says: george is way too small

Tipsy Tart says: who abuses their child? oh and i just told B mom i think she should take a break, i mean HONESTLY is she fucking STUPID

Jaggi: YES!!! I agree completely!! Whats the rush anyway?? She should chill for a few months

Tipsy Tart says: well that confirms that she is even more stupid

Faulty says: Socks is gonna come into the chat k, she didnt cheat on him - i asked her straight out

Tipsy Tart says: bwha good to know, i was worried hey lol

Socks says: hiiiiiiii

Faulty says: Kamasutra this is my cousin Socks she is my slave - say hi slave

Socks says: ha ha that sounds kinky

Kamasutra says: hallo Socks aka slave

Socks says: ha ha hi Kamasutra

Jaggi says: I am waiting for the whips and chains to be hauled out slave!!! (chuckle) hiya Socks!
Later that same fateful day............................

Tipsy Tart says: wheres Socks gone Faulty?

Socks says: im here:)

Tipsy Tart says: ok Socks what happened over the weekend? i will give u advice coz ive been cheated on and dumped MANY times and i can help with plotting revenge etc

Socks says: oooh um no i dont need advice, we just broke up -i had wine last night :) so im ok lol

Tipsy Tart says: best thing to do is to vry with his new gf

Tartlet says: you would do that HB

Tipsy Tart says: ok but jokes aside shannon - if you wanna talk u can talk to us, well to me, the rest are nerds - im cool..........ive been around ;)

Tartlet says: and around and around.......

Faulty says: hey i am cool, i gave her booze and pain tabs

Tipsy Tart says: but i dont like your socks

Tartlet: truth hurts hey

Faulty says: shew lucky i am a good girl

Tartlet says: whatttttttttttttttttttttttt

Socks says: ppfffttt